(no subject)
my parents have kept my old bed and dresser, but otherwise turned my childhood room into a semi office. this means that there is a big metal filing cabinet in there, taunting me as i pass the hours trying to fall asleep. usually when my night-owl tendencies strike me here, i'll rummage through my old pictures and whatever other remnants of my adolescence remain in the room, but one can only look at the same old stupid pictures so many times. the filing cabinet is new territory. the other night i was peaking through it and found a file titled "sara beth". oops. that's me. had to pull it. had to. it's mostly standard stuff, but there are a few things in there that really make me scratch my head. here's the contents:
-certificate from driving school
-contract from the art gallery i had work in when i was 20
-program from "the wind in the willows" the first play i was ever in
-newspaper clipping with a picture of me, advertising "the wind in the willows"
-program for an elementary school concert that i drew the cover for in 5th grade
-program for my first piano recital. man i hated piano recitals
-a gymnastics award
-a 'super fit' award where i scored in the 99% tile for sit ups?
-a letter from george h. bush (i think they made us write to him in school when he was elected)
-a 'memory folder' from the 5 times i went to sunday school
-some standardized reading test score where i scored 100 on 'understanding forms' whatever that means.
-softball award
-newspaper clipping picturing me as a winner of an 'earth poster' contest (poster not pictured or included in file)
-a letter to santa
-a childishly drawn christmas card to my parents
-nursery school diploma
-an essay on 'why my mother is special' written in 5th grade
-another newspaper clipping with my picture. not about me.
-a barnett newman chronology? i like BN and all, but what?
-letter of acceptance into the Gifted and Talented program
-kindergarten scrap book
-program from a high school art show
-a copy of the Philadelphia Independent (i have no idea why)
-program from high school production of 'Grease' (i was Cha-Cha- haha)
NOW, here are the really weird ones...
-a graffiti zine?
-printed out lyrics to "Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen
-a letter titled "Influence" (not written by me) in which a girl writes to her parents from college informing them that she got a concussion after jumping out of her dormitory window because of a fire. and that because she had no place to live after said fire she took up residence with the very nice gas station attendant who had called the ambulance after her fall. and that she and the attendant were in love and that she is expecting a child with him soon. she plans to marry the boy, but not until his 'infection' goes away so that they can pass the blood test required for a license (yes, she's infected too). and yes, he is "not well educated" and "of a different race and religion than ours". okay... the letter finishes up like this "now that i have brought you up to date, i want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, i did not have a concussion or skull fracture, i was not in the hospital, i am not pregnant, i am not engaged, i am not infected, and there is no boyfriend. however, i am getting a D in American History and an F in Chemistry and i want you to see those marks int their proper perspective."
huh-what? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME? i mean, i guess it's kind of funny, or whatever, but why on earth would you file that in my 'accomplishments' folder? because it's scant and most of the accomplishments stop after 7th grade? ouch man, ouch.
mom? dad? you're weird.
-certificate from driving school
-contract from the art gallery i had work in when i was 20
-program from "the wind in the willows" the first play i was ever in
-newspaper clipping with a picture of me, advertising "the wind in the willows"
-program for an elementary school concert that i drew the cover for in 5th grade
-program for my first piano recital. man i hated piano recitals
-a gymnastics award
-a 'super fit' award where i scored in the 99% tile for sit ups?
-a letter from george h. bush (i think they made us write to him in school when he was elected)
-a 'memory folder' from the 5 times i went to sunday school
-some standardized reading test score where i scored 100 on 'understanding forms' whatever that means.
-softball award
-newspaper clipping picturing me as a winner of an 'earth poster' contest (poster not pictured or included in file)
-a letter to santa
-a childishly drawn christmas card to my parents
-nursery school diploma
-an essay on 'why my mother is special' written in 5th grade
-another newspaper clipping with my picture. not about me.
-a barnett newman chronology? i like BN and all, but what?
-letter of acceptance into the Gifted and Talented program
-kindergarten scrap book
-program from a high school art show
-a copy of the Philadelphia Independent (i have no idea why)
-program from high school production of 'Grease' (i was Cha-Cha- haha)
NOW, here are the really weird ones...
-a graffiti zine?
-printed out lyrics to "Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen
-a letter titled "Influence" (not written by me) in which a girl writes to her parents from college informing them that she got a concussion after jumping out of her dormitory window because of a fire. and that because she had no place to live after said fire she took up residence with the very nice gas station attendant who had called the ambulance after her fall. and that she and the attendant were in love and that she is expecting a child with him soon. she plans to marry the boy, but not until his 'infection' goes away so that they can pass the blood test required for a license (yes, she's infected too). and yes, he is "not well educated" and "of a different race and religion than ours". okay... the letter finishes up like this "now that i have brought you up to date, i want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, i did not have a concussion or skull fracture, i was not in the hospital, i am not pregnant, i am not engaged, i am not infected, and there is no boyfriend. however, i am getting a D in American History and an F in Chemistry and i want you to see those marks int their proper perspective."
huh-what? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME? i mean, i guess it's kind of funny, or whatever, but why on earth would you file that in my 'accomplishments' folder? because it's scant and most of the accomplishments stop after 7th grade? ouch man, ouch.
mom? dad? you're weird.