(no subject)
Sometimes I think it will be fine, but other times I just sit here and worry. What if we grow apart? What if we don't talk enough? What if he meets some amazing girl? Everything happens for a reason? What if it doesn't? Ahh, I don't know. of course I am going to have my worries about this, but nothing would ever make me not stick with him. It's gonna be hard.... but what isn't? I mean, all those worries are so unlikely to ever happen, so I should just focus on the positive. It's just these nights when I am alone...I think...Is this what it's going to be like? Except so alone that even if I am dying to see him, I can't just show up at 3 in the morning. SO alone. Sure, I'll be able to focus on alot more school and such, but I am just going to miss him like my life is gone. Like, who else do I have? I neglect my friends for this person. This IS my life. What happens when it just goes away? When you hang out with someone every day for a year....I've never missed something so much. I've never had the emotional capacity to envision my future within another human being. That is missing someone. This is real... like, serious stuff. You don't just let that go. WHy should anyone judge that? Why should anyone expect me to do anything other than hold on with everything I have?