You seem very well, things look peaceful.
Today is one of those days, man, where I just can't get out of my own head.
It's no secret that I've had anxiety issues for years, but things have been so much better since last fall. I still have my moments, though. It's like it's not enough for me to be happy, that just raises the red flag somewhere inside my head. "Things are too good! Something must be wrong!" my fucked-up brain shouts. And then I'm forced to relive things, conversations, moments that I don't really want to think about, ever. I don't know what my deal is.
I have also been feeling super nostalgic lately, which has always been a downfall for me. I have all these new friends, and they are awesome, and I have never fit in so well as I do where I am now, but almost all of the people who have affected my life in the last few years, who have meant something to me, who helped make me who I am and get me where I am today, are gone, scattered around the country and even the world. And it's good, that we are all doing things and following dreams, but I'm selfish, and I want the people I care about close to me, all the time.
Why do I waste time on thoughts like these? Some of these people don't even care about having me in their lives anymore, and I'm still dwelling on thoughts from long ago.
Is there ever a point where I won't be haunted by the ghosts of the past?
It's no secret that I've had anxiety issues for years, but things have been so much better since last fall. I still have my moments, though. It's like it's not enough for me to be happy, that just raises the red flag somewhere inside my head. "Things are too good! Something must be wrong!" my fucked-up brain shouts. And then I'm forced to relive things, conversations, moments that I don't really want to think about, ever. I don't know what my deal is.
I have also been feeling super nostalgic lately, which has always been a downfall for me. I have all these new friends, and they are awesome, and I have never fit in so well as I do where I am now, but almost all of the people who have affected my life in the last few years, who have meant something to me, who helped make me who I am and get me where I am today, are gone, scattered around the country and even the world. And it's good, that we are all doing things and following dreams, but I'm selfish, and I want the people I care about close to me, all the time.
Why do I waste time on thoughts like these? Some of these people don't even care about having me in their lives anymore, and I'm still dwelling on thoughts from long ago.
Is there ever a point where I won't be haunted by the ghosts of the past?