i bought a pack
i bought a pack of cigs. i really just wanted to smoke one by myself
i dont like smoking with other people because im not proud of smoking
i dont want to start again. i just wanted one to calm myself down
after the one i would be disgusted with myself again for not channeling my frustration better
and then i would stop
thats usually how it goes
i HATE that corey is smoking again
because then his breathing gets worse and he starts hacking again
and he starts spitting more (i really dont like when people spit)
and he always smells like cigs
and then he tells me that he doesnt like that he is smoking either but that that is what he has to do
but i dont think he really doesn't like smoking
i dont know
i am confident that everything will work out
i just wish it would happen sooner (like, now) rather than later
i dont like smoking with other people because im not proud of smoking
i dont want to start again. i just wanted one to calm myself down
after the one i would be disgusted with myself again for not channeling my frustration better
and then i would stop
thats usually how it goes
i HATE that corey is smoking again
because then his breathing gets worse and he starts hacking again
and he starts spitting more (i really dont like when people spit)
and he always smells like cigs
and then he tells me that he doesnt like that he is smoking either but that that is what he has to do
but i dont think he really doesn't like smoking
i dont know
i am confident that everything will work out
i just wish it would happen sooner (like, now) rather than later