i lost the nerve.

[sararawksthebox]

this is what i was going to say

writing it out so i know what to say to your face.

i'm done.
completely done with this horrible excuse for a friendship.
it's pointless when i want to be more than your friend.
and you keep dating younger and younger girls.
you keep dating girls in high school to get to go to prom.
well youre not in high school anymore.
and you need to grow up.
when i met you, you drank here and there, and you smoked a little pot.
now you chill with people who sell
and all of a sudden im picking you up to go to a party
and youre already on coke and ecstacy.
you need to grow out of it.
because its not high school anymore.
its not dabbling anymore, its addiction.
and i care about you too much
to sit here and watch you start selling again.
and wasting all your money and time on weed and girls years younger than you.

im love you and care about you, but i cant just sit here and pretend not to be upset about this.
and i cant sit here and be that girl.
the one you fuck when your girlfriend gets on your nerves.
if you want me, you can come get me.
but until you do, im not going to sit here and wait for you prentending that everything is fine.
im done with that.