*********************
...so last night, jordan told me he doesn't think that we can ever just talk about certain situations without me crying and him giving up on everything...great! but if he lies to me about talking to markie farnsley, then why should i trust him to talk to her? there was obviously something to hide in the first place. and it would be different if he wasn't in "love" with her for the longest time, or if he hadn't told me "there's just something about her, when she walks into a room..." it makes me feel unwanted, and when i tell him that, he, like i said, just gives up. says "fuck it" pretty much. or when he tells me about other girls he jacks off to? kind of upsetting i must say. or we're walking in the mall and i hear "wow, she's really hot" and he WONDERS why i get mad about that? plus, he doesn't want to try. i love jordan so much, to death, and it's like he doesn't even want it anymore. sure he loves me, but i don't think he's in love with me. and last night i asked him, and he gave up. surprise..