(Not) Enough
Title: (Not) Enough
Author: Geojitmal
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff.
Word count: 2,600
Summary: Sequel to (Not) Too Late, in which Jin and Kazuya meet up again and just want to have a fun day out, which turns out to be very different from what they, or at least Jin, had thought.
Diclaimer: All mine. Or so I wish. Well, at least the story is.
A/N: The requested sequel, which took longer than I thought. But yay...the longest non-chaptered thing I have ever written. ö_ö
The next few days I spent in my personal happy-bubble. Nothing could ruin my mood. Not even Yamapi calling three (THREE!) days later, asking how and if I got home because he had just remembered they had kind of forgotten about me at the Jimusho. I think he got somewhat suspicious when I just told him that it was fine and that I had gotten home perfectly well. Maybe that’s why he told me not to move an inch, and that he’d be over as soon as possible. Was me being in a good, forgiving mood really something to worry about? I should probably have felt offended, but my mood was way too good.
I hadn’t talked to Kame since he had taken me home, but that was just fine. Part of me wanted to give him time, just wait until he called, as promised, to set a date for our day out. Another part of me was plain scared he’d burst the happy-bubble next time we meet, tell me I had imagined things. No, I couldn’t have that right now. Being closer to one of my oldest, most precious dreams coming true, than I have ever been before, felt way too good.
When Kame eventually did call (four days, thirteen hours and eight minutes after he had kissed my cheek, but who’s counting?) we agreed to meet the next day for dinner and maybe a movie. He sounded tired as always, but happy enough, so that I could brush aside some of my worries about him bursting my bubble for the moment.
I picked him up in the afternoon the next day, wearing a meticulously chosen outfit on which I had spent the entire morning, my hair carefully arranged, which had cost me the rest of the day until it had been time to leave my apartment. I had barely had time to be nervous, but now that I stood waiting for the elevator in Kame’s apartment complex, nervousness hit me full force. I tried to convince myself that it was stupid. It was just a casual day out, after all. Just some casual hanging out among friends who hadn’t met in a while. That it was the day before Christmas and Christmas was a day for couples was carefully ignored by me.
Once again checking my reflection in the mirrored elevator walls, I stepped out on Kame’s floor, took a deep breath and knocked on his door. He opened almost immediately, fully dressed, as if he had been waiting right behind that door just for me to knock.
By the time we had finished our three-course-meal at Kame’s favorite restaurant (which maybe wasn’t all that casual, after all) it had gotten very dark outside and the colorful lights of the Christmas decoration everywhere were simply stunning.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kame seemed to once again read my thoughts. “I just love those multicolored sparkles everywhere. I could spend hours just walking through the streets, watching them.”
“So, why don’t we do just that,” I offered “We can always watch a movie, but the lights are only there in December.”
He looked at me strangely and for a second I wondered if I had said something weird, but then he smiled and readily agreed, of course only under the condition that I really was okay with it. As if I could decline him anything when his eyes lighted up like those of a little kid on Christmas eve.
As we were walking, we had a lot of time to catch up on what the other had been up to while we hadn’t been in contact. Kame also told me more about that asshole ex-boyfriend of his and it didn’t exactly make me like that bastard more. We exchanged opinions on how different filming for a drama was from filming for a movie and I had to answer a flood of questions about Keanu Reeves and Europe. He seemed exited to hear about London and I put “take Kazuya to Europe” on my mental to-do-list.
We had been walking for well over two hours, when I felt Kame shiver next to me. Without saying a word I undid my big, fluffy scarf from around my neck and carefully wrapped it around Kame’s, arranging it nicely and smiling at him when I was done. He was about to open his mouth to protest, when I shushed him. “It’s okay, don’t worry. That big thing got to warm for me, anyway.”
“Thanks.” he muttered and as we continued walking, I could feel him sneaking his right hand into my left. I looked down at our joined hands and almost missed Kame’s mumbled “It’s just…my hands are cold, too.”
From that point onwards, I don’t think I would have been cold if I had been walking the streets in shorts and a t-shirt, Kame’s proximity and with his hand in mine, my body did a great job of keeping itself heated up. Kame, on the other hand, obviously had more trouble keeping warm and when his teeth started chattering, I offered to take him back home to his apartment.
“But I don’t think we have seen all the lights yet!” he tried to argue, almost childishly.
“Kazuya, this is Tokyo. I’m almost positive we wouldn’t be able to see all the lights if we ran around all night,” I squeezed his hand a little.
“Then…can we go to your apartment for a bit? Just, you know, because it’s farther away and I get to see more lights on the way.”
And who was I to refuse. I really needed to learn to say no to him. But then again, that still had time.
“Do you want a hot chocolate or a tea or something?” I offered as we stepped into my apartment and I got rid of my coat, before taking Kame’s coat from him.
“Do you have whipped cream?” he asked and I entirely blame it on my libido that all kinds of dirty images popped up in my mind upon that question, before I could only nod dumbly.
“Great, then I’d love a hot chocolate!” he beamed.
While I went into the kitchen, Kame disappeared somewhere in the direction of my living room, probably getting comfortable on the couch. I heard him shouting something and by the time I joined him in the biggest room of my apartment, two steaming cups of hot chocolate with a few marshmallows and a whipped cream finish in hand, I indeed found him on my couch, in his hands a picture of me and Lizzy backstage at some concert. I handed him his mug and he took a sip and then grabbed it tighter to warm his hands.
“Who’s she?” he asked, sounding casual. “She’s really pretty.”
“That’s Lizzy,” I explained, sitting down next to him, though with a comfortable space between us. “A dancer, part of my crew, she’s a great friend.”
Kame only hummed in response and for a while we sat in comfortable silence, enjoying how our hot drinks warmed us up from the inside and almost made us forget about the cold outside.
“So, Jin…have you met someone in America? Someone special?”
Until then we had managed to avoid the topic of my love life in our conversations and I hoped that my face didn’t show how surprised I really was at his sudden question.
“Ah, not really. You know, nothing serious.”
Kame hummed once again and we lapsed into a silence that was just slightly awkward.
When the silence got a bit more awkward, we decided to switch on the TV, hoping something fun was on. As I skipped through the channels, the commercial for my new song, which was only a few days away from being released, came up. I just wanted to skip to another channel, when Kame almost shouted “No, wait a second!”
I shrugged and left it on, while he continued to stare at the screen, almost transfixed. When it was over, he didn’t move for the longest time and I started to get worried just as he spoke up “It’s beautiful! I didn’t even know you had a new song coming out! Why did you never mention?” he turned to me.
“Uh…hey Kame, I have a new song coming out!”
“Smartass. It really seemed beautiful. Sing it to me, Jin.”
“Uhh,” I was at a bit of a loss “Can’t I just give you the CD? I have a few here already.”
“No, I don’t want that.”
“It would be no problem, really.”
“Jin.” he looked at me sternly, then moved a bit closer on the couch “Please?”
What did I say about needing to learn to say no to him?
So, switching off the TV again, I started to sing. A bit unsure at first since it felt slightly different to sing it a cappella. But I soon found into it and Kame slightly swayed with it, looking at me intently while I tried my hardest to avoid his gaze.
When I started to sing the chorus, he closed his eyes and silently sang along the few lines he seemed to have remembered from the commercial. It gave me a chance to sneak a look at him and damn, he was beautiful like that. His eyes stayed shut for a few moments longer and when he eventually opened them, he caught me openly staring at him and I was transfixed, unable to look away, when I started with the second chorus, staring straight into his eyes.
I’d rather have a rainy day with you than see the sunshine alone.
Or have a hundred days of winter with you here in my arms.
I’ll be your shelter from the storm just to have you by my side…
By the time I was finished with the song, Kame sat sideways on the couch, fully facing me, his head leaned against his hand while his arm rested on the backrest of the couch. He observed me closely, almost contemplative, and I had gone back to avoiding his gaze, my cheeks just a tad bit reddened from my staring earlier.
“These are great lyrics, Jin,” he said eventually “So sad. I thought you said you didn’t meet anyone special?”
“I didn’t,” I answered, nibbling on my lower lip while thinking about how I could avoid the upcoming awkwardness, but of course nothing came to my mind “I just, you know, thought about someone I had known for a while.”
Kame inched even closer and I tried harder than ever to avoid his gaze. My carpet was very interesting. Very. And oh look, there was a tiny coffee stain, who would have thought.
I felt his hand on my cheek and how he urged me to face him. It wasn’t like I had a choice. I took a deep breath and looked up at him.
“Have I hurt you so much, Jin?” he whispered, searching my eyes, his hand still on my cheek.
“No!” I was quick to refuse. “You…I don’t…” and that was as far as I got before I saw him lean in and felt his lips lightly pressed to mine. I was shocked, but it felt heavenly and was over way too soon, before I could even properly react. As it was, I had to resort to looking at him like a fish when he pulled back and continued to stare right through me, and into my soul.
He chuckled slightly at my look but quickly turned serious again. “I want to make it up to you.”
I pulled back at that and stood up. Running a hand through my by now messy locks, I started to pace through my living room.
“No, Kazuya. First of all, you have nothing to make up for. You told me you couldn’t love me and I have to accept that. It’s not like you did anything wrong. And I don’t want you to kiss me out of pity. It’s just not right.”
Kame stood up as well, looking somewhat lost as he followed my pacing with his eyes.
“It wasn’t pity.” he said, as if me suggesting it was a huge offense. But really, what other explanation would there be.
“So you were trying to comfort me. It’s not like that would make it any better.”
“It wasn’t that either.”
“Then you were trying to comfort yourself. And I wouldn’t even blame you, you just broke up with your boyfriend and are most likely heartbroken as well and I could understand that listening to the song would…”
“Would you just stop?” he finally yelled and I stopped dead in my tracks. “I wanted to kiss you, okay?” he came over to where I was standing and didn’t stop until he was so close that his chest was pressed to mine. “I want to make up to you for all the pain I have caused you because I had been stupid when I rejected you back then.” he was now speaking in a gentler tone again and his hands held my face in place so that I had no other chance than to look him straight into the eyes. “I have thought a lot about what you said the other day. And I hope it’s still not too late now, because I would really like to try it with you, Jin. I have been stupid and just too scared and I only realized it the other day and I’m just so sorry.”
Now that took a while to fully sink into my somewhat slow brain. What was it with Kame and his emotional outbursts lately?
“You want…?” I asked dumbly after a while. Kame just smiled and nodded.
“Can I kiss you now without you freaking out again?” Another, more gleeful smile. I had a feeling he was enjoying this. Instead of answering, I just put one of my hands on his hip, leaned down and took the initiative for the first time. Kissing Kame was about the best feeling I had ever experienced and how I had ever lived without knowing that feeling was a mystery to me. It was another simple, innocent kiss, only moving lips on lips, but it lasted longer than the first and while my brain still processed what Kame had said earlier, it just felt better with every passing second.
“Are you really sure about this?” I carefully asked him when we had pulled apart, my arms now both slung around his waist, afraid to let go, and his arm both around my neck. I have never been as comfortable as in Kame’s arms.
“Heck no,” he laughed. “This could jeopardize our friendship, if things went very wrong.”
“But…” I started, but he interrupted me with a small peck.
“But I have faith in us and I do believe that it’s worth it. I am sure, Jin.” his smile was enough to convince me.
I was genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like, well, ever.
After that we had retreated to the bedroom, as it was getting pretty late and Kame had decided to stay over, and were now innocently cuddling under the covers. He had looked adorable in one of my t-shirts, which had of course been way too big for him.
When the clock struck midnight, Kame lifted his head from its position on my chest and smiled up at me, his hand placed over my heart.
“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, darling.” I replied with the face-splitting grin of a boy having received the best Christmas present ever.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Yeah, so maybe this screams for another, smutty sequel now, but I really am not sure that's gonna happen. XD;
The song used is Jin's Seasons, of course, great translation this way.
Comments, criticism and suggestions are welcome. :)
Author: Geojitmal
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff.
Word count: 2,600
Summary: Sequel to (Not) Too Late, in which Jin and Kazuya meet up again and just want to have a fun day out, which turns out to be very different from what they, or at least Jin, had thought.
Diclaimer: All mine. Or so I wish. Well, at least the story is.
A/N: The requested sequel, which took longer than I thought. But yay...the longest non-chaptered thing I have ever written. ö_ö
The next few days I spent in my personal happy-bubble. Nothing could ruin my mood. Not even Yamapi calling three (THREE!) days later, asking how and if I got home because he had just remembered they had kind of forgotten about me at the Jimusho. I think he got somewhat suspicious when I just told him that it was fine and that I had gotten home perfectly well. Maybe that’s why he told me not to move an inch, and that he’d be over as soon as possible. Was me being in a good, forgiving mood really something to worry about? I should probably have felt offended, but my mood was way too good.
I hadn’t talked to Kame since he had taken me home, but that was just fine. Part of me wanted to give him time, just wait until he called, as promised, to set a date for our day out. Another part of me was plain scared he’d burst the happy-bubble next time we meet, tell me I had imagined things. No, I couldn’t have that right now. Being closer to one of my oldest, most precious dreams coming true, than I have ever been before, felt way too good.
When Kame eventually did call (four days, thirteen hours and eight minutes after he had kissed my cheek, but who’s counting?) we agreed to meet the next day for dinner and maybe a movie. He sounded tired as always, but happy enough, so that I could brush aside some of my worries about him bursting my bubble for the moment.
I picked him up in the afternoon the next day, wearing a meticulously chosen outfit on which I had spent the entire morning, my hair carefully arranged, which had cost me the rest of the day until it had been time to leave my apartment. I had barely had time to be nervous, but now that I stood waiting for the elevator in Kame’s apartment complex, nervousness hit me full force. I tried to convince myself that it was stupid. It was just a casual day out, after all. Just some casual hanging out among friends who hadn’t met in a while. That it was the day before Christmas and Christmas was a day for couples was carefully ignored by me.
Once again checking my reflection in the mirrored elevator walls, I stepped out on Kame’s floor, took a deep breath and knocked on his door. He opened almost immediately, fully dressed, as if he had been waiting right behind that door just for me to knock.
By the time we had finished our three-course-meal at Kame’s favorite restaurant (which maybe wasn’t all that casual, after all) it had gotten very dark outside and the colorful lights of the Christmas decoration everywhere were simply stunning.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kame seemed to once again read my thoughts. “I just love those multicolored sparkles everywhere. I could spend hours just walking through the streets, watching them.”
“So, why don’t we do just that,” I offered “We can always watch a movie, but the lights are only there in December.”
He looked at me strangely and for a second I wondered if I had said something weird, but then he smiled and readily agreed, of course only under the condition that I really was okay with it. As if I could decline him anything when his eyes lighted up like those of a little kid on Christmas eve.
As we were walking, we had a lot of time to catch up on what the other had been up to while we hadn’t been in contact. Kame also told me more about that asshole ex-boyfriend of his and it didn’t exactly make me like that bastard more. We exchanged opinions on how different filming for a drama was from filming for a movie and I had to answer a flood of questions about Keanu Reeves and Europe. He seemed exited to hear about London and I put “take Kazuya to Europe” on my mental to-do-list.
We had been walking for well over two hours, when I felt Kame shiver next to me. Without saying a word I undid my big, fluffy scarf from around my neck and carefully wrapped it around Kame’s, arranging it nicely and smiling at him when I was done. He was about to open his mouth to protest, when I shushed him. “It’s okay, don’t worry. That big thing got to warm for me, anyway.”
“Thanks.” he muttered and as we continued walking, I could feel him sneaking his right hand into my left. I looked down at our joined hands and almost missed Kame’s mumbled “It’s just…my hands are cold, too.”
From that point onwards, I don’t think I would have been cold if I had been walking the streets in shorts and a t-shirt, Kame’s proximity and with his hand in mine, my body did a great job of keeping itself heated up. Kame, on the other hand, obviously had more trouble keeping warm and when his teeth started chattering, I offered to take him back home to his apartment.
“But I don’t think we have seen all the lights yet!” he tried to argue, almost childishly.
“Kazuya, this is Tokyo. I’m almost positive we wouldn’t be able to see all the lights if we ran around all night,” I squeezed his hand a little.
“Then…can we go to your apartment for a bit? Just, you know, because it’s farther away and I get to see more lights on the way.”
And who was I to refuse. I really needed to learn to say no to him. But then again, that still had time.
“Do you want a hot chocolate or a tea or something?” I offered as we stepped into my apartment and I got rid of my coat, before taking Kame’s coat from him.
“Do you have whipped cream?” he asked and I entirely blame it on my libido that all kinds of dirty images popped up in my mind upon that question, before I could only nod dumbly.
“Great, then I’d love a hot chocolate!” he beamed.
While I went into the kitchen, Kame disappeared somewhere in the direction of my living room, probably getting comfortable on the couch. I heard him shouting something and by the time I joined him in the biggest room of my apartment, two steaming cups of hot chocolate with a few marshmallows and a whipped cream finish in hand, I indeed found him on my couch, in his hands a picture of me and Lizzy backstage at some concert. I handed him his mug and he took a sip and then grabbed it tighter to warm his hands.
“Who’s she?” he asked, sounding casual. “She’s really pretty.”
“That’s Lizzy,” I explained, sitting down next to him, though with a comfortable space between us. “A dancer, part of my crew, she’s a great friend.”
Kame only hummed in response and for a while we sat in comfortable silence, enjoying how our hot drinks warmed us up from the inside and almost made us forget about the cold outside.
“So, Jin…have you met someone in America? Someone special?”
Until then we had managed to avoid the topic of my love life in our conversations and I hoped that my face didn’t show how surprised I really was at his sudden question.
“Ah, not really. You know, nothing serious.”
Kame hummed once again and we lapsed into a silence that was just slightly awkward.
When the silence got a bit more awkward, we decided to switch on the TV, hoping something fun was on. As I skipped through the channels, the commercial for my new song, which was only a few days away from being released, came up. I just wanted to skip to another channel, when Kame almost shouted “No, wait a second!”
I shrugged and left it on, while he continued to stare at the screen, almost transfixed. When it was over, he didn’t move for the longest time and I started to get worried just as he spoke up “It’s beautiful! I didn’t even know you had a new song coming out! Why did you never mention?” he turned to me.
“Uh…hey Kame, I have a new song coming out!”
“Smartass. It really seemed beautiful. Sing it to me, Jin.”
“Uhh,” I was at a bit of a loss “Can’t I just give you the CD? I have a few here already.”
“No, I don’t want that.”
“It would be no problem, really.”
“Jin.” he looked at me sternly, then moved a bit closer on the couch “Please?”
What did I say about needing to learn to say no to him?
So, switching off the TV again, I started to sing. A bit unsure at first since it felt slightly different to sing it a cappella. But I soon found into it and Kame slightly swayed with it, looking at me intently while I tried my hardest to avoid his gaze.
When I started to sing the chorus, he closed his eyes and silently sang along the few lines he seemed to have remembered from the commercial. It gave me a chance to sneak a look at him and damn, he was beautiful like that. His eyes stayed shut for a few moments longer and when he eventually opened them, he caught me openly staring at him and I was transfixed, unable to look away, when I started with the second chorus, staring straight into his eyes.
I’d rather have a rainy day with you than see the sunshine alone.
Or have a hundred days of winter with you here in my arms.
I’ll be your shelter from the storm just to have you by my side…
By the time I was finished with the song, Kame sat sideways on the couch, fully facing me, his head leaned against his hand while his arm rested on the backrest of the couch. He observed me closely, almost contemplative, and I had gone back to avoiding his gaze, my cheeks just a tad bit reddened from my staring earlier.
“These are great lyrics, Jin,” he said eventually “So sad. I thought you said you didn’t meet anyone special?”
“I didn’t,” I answered, nibbling on my lower lip while thinking about how I could avoid the upcoming awkwardness, but of course nothing came to my mind “I just, you know, thought about someone I had known for a while.”
Kame inched even closer and I tried harder than ever to avoid his gaze. My carpet was very interesting. Very. And oh look, there was a tiny coffee stain, who would have thought.
I felt his hand on my cheek and how he urged me to face him. It wasn’t like I had a choice. I took a deep breath and looked up at him.
“Have I hurt you so much, Jin?” he whispered, searching my eyes, his hand still on my cheek.
“No!” I was quick to refuse. “You…I don’t…” and that was as far as I got before I saw him lean in and felt his lips lightly pressed to mine. I was shocked, but it felt heavenly and was over way too soon, before I could even properly react. As it was, I had to resort to looking at him like a fish when he pulled back and continued to stare right through me, and into my soul.
He chuckled slightly at my look but quickly turned serious again. “I want to make it up to you.”
I pulled back at that and stood up. Running a hand through my by now messy locks, I started to pace through my living room.
“No, Kazuya. First of all, you have nothing to make up for. You told me you couldn’t love me and I have to accept that. It’s not like you did anything wrong. And I don’t want you to kiss me out of pity. It’s just not right.”
Kame stood up as well, looking somewhat lost as he followed my pacing with his eyes.
“It wasn’t pity.” he said, as if me suggesting it was a huge offense. But really, what other explanation would there be.
“So you were trying to comfort me. It’s not like that would make it any better.”
“It wasn’t that either.”
“Then you were trying to comfort yourself. And I wouldn’t even blame you, you just broke up with your boyfriend and are most likely heartbroken as well and I could understand that listening to the song would…”
“Would you just stop?” he finally yelled and I stopped dead in my tracks. “I wanted to kiss you, okay?” he came over to where I was standing and didn’t stop until he was so close that his chest was pressed to mine. “I want to make up to you for all the pain I have caused you because I had been stupid when I rejected you back then.” he was now speaking in a gentler tone again and his hands held my face in place so that I had no other chance than to look him straight into the eyes. “I have thought a lot about what you said the other day. And I hope it’s still not too late now, because I would really like to try it with you, Jin. I have been stupid and just too scared and I only realized it the other day and I’m just so sorry.”
Now that took a while to fully sink into my somewhat slow brain. What was it with Kame and his emotional outbursts lately?
“You want…?” I asked dumbly after a while. Kame just smiled and nodded.
“Can I kiss you now without you freaking out again?” Another, more gleeful smile. I had a feeling he was enjoying this. Instead of answering, I just put one of my hands on his hip, leaned down and took the initiative for the first time. Kissing Kame was about the best feeling I had ever experienced and how I had ever lived without knowing that feeling was a mystery to me. It was another simple, innocent kiss, only moving lips on lips, but it lasted longer than the first and while my brain still processed what Kame had said earlier, it just felt better with every passing second.
“Are you really sure about this?” I carefully asked him when we had pulled apart, my arms now both slung around his waist, afraid to let go, and his arm both around my neck. I have never been as comfortable as in Kame’s arms.
“Heck no,” he laughed. “This could jeopardize our friendship, if things went very wrong.”
“But…” I started, but he interrupted me with a small peck.
“But I have faith in us and I do believe that it’s worth it. I am sure, Jin.” his smile was enough to convince me.
I was genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like, well, ever.
After that we had retreated to the bedroom, as it was getting pretty late and Kame had decided to stay over, and were now innocently cuddling under the covers. He had looked adorable in one of my t-shirts, which had of course been way too big for him.
When the clock struck midnight, Kame lifted his head from its position on my chest and smiled up at me, his hand placed over my heart.
“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, darling.” I replied with the face-splitting grin of a boy having received the best Christmas present ever.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
Yeah, so maybe this screams for another, smutty sequel now, but I really am not sure that's gonna happen. XD;
The song used is Jin's Seasons, of course, great translation this way.
Comments, criticism and suggestions are welcome. :)