five reasons
five reasons.
he wouldn't let her go
a/n: lots of changmin feels right now. i haven't written anything like this in months.
one, he remembers her smile.
it was snowing and he didn't really enjoy getting coffee because it reminded him of her. the same her that he fell in love with three years ago. but there was someone else in her position, her eyes glistening with familiarity and compassion. even the tips of her eyelashes reminded him of perfect curls that he used to pull on.
"where's sooyeon?" he asked when he reached the front of the line. and her dark eyes glance at his, hesitating, but then the corner of her lips twisted into a smile. it reminded him of the coffee that he hasn't gotten in over a year.
"she quit," she simply stated. and it was those two words that caused him to tear away at his heart. but her lips were still curled into that smile as he ordered his americano and it never left her lips.
two, she whispered him stardust.
he was over at her apartment, waiting for her to come to bed and tell her of his worries. but instead, he found her splayed across her bed, her eyes on the edge of slumber and insomnia.
and it was quiet. the silence that overcame his emptiness. he swore she could hear his heart and how it raced at three am.
"you'll be okay," she whispered into his ears. it was a melody he wasn't used to, violin strings didn't screech when he pull on them. it was kind and soft. she was a soul he would have to steal and hide in a jar. he wouldn't let her go.
three, she spoke him into sunflowers.
"hey."
it was silent after that. no words were uttered. he stared at his phone, waiting for the other line to hang up or say a word to him. but there wasn't, her lips were locked and sealed, complete and utter silence at four am.
he didn't know what to say. he didn't want her to know that he dreamed about her for the last few months or how he wanted to press his body against hers. or how the sun shines on her face at right moment to show him all the scars upon her body and he can see right through her facade. but he didn't. those words didn't. need to be uttered.
and so they stayed in the silent, his yearnings going unheard.
four, she lingers on his lips.
he found her lips. not the girl he's been dreaming of for the last couple of weeks, but the one who broke his heart years ago.
"sooyeon," he started, but she pulled on his tie, drenched him in lust and he knew this was real, but it seemed as though the gods wanted to be cruel to him and decide that the girl he was dreaming of was nothing more than a mere imagination.
but while she kissed him, she still lingered on his lips. the taste of sweet seduction, mocha lattes and dazzling winter lights, they lingered on his lips while she kissed him. because he's not in love with sooyeon, but with the auburn beauty that told him she was gone a year ago.
"i love you, changmin."
it was impulse for him to say it back to her. the same words that he was saving when he fell in the sea of sadness. but he knew these words were as empty as he spoke, his soul belonged to someone else. but yet he uttered those words, shadows captured his mouth, his lips moved on their accord, he was only a puppet. and yet he stared at the blonde, uttering those same words again and again. love, love, love, and every time he worked those words into the thin air, the knife twisted and he wanted to shout in pain.
but he was lost, he waited for the other to pull him out and drown his miseries with her own lips. her rose petal scent lingered as sooyeon kissed him once more.
(sooyeon smelled like coffee and another man's cologne.)
five, he knows that he loves her.
"hey."
they sat in silence, her eyes focused on the paperwork in front of her. he used to make her look up at him, smile and steal his soul. but he knew he was still in love with her, surrendering his mistakes under his eyelids, hoping that one day she would look at him and realize that he was in love with her.
"where's sooyeon?" she asked, her eyes on the verge of slumber. she never looked up, the knife sunk deeper into his back.
"i don't know."
yoona smiled faintly, the corner of her lips never reached the point of happiness. and in the year that he knew her, her eyes twinkled with a sadness he looked hard for. he wanted to capture all her tears and drink it as though it was bitter alcohol before she could show him the dismal stars implanted on her collarbone.
"okay."
yoona stole one look. he took his chance. he kissed her lips and tied strings with her as he kissed her lips, whispering love and lust into her ears, begging her to stay with him. but he smashed her soul a week ago, told her lies and left her to die. this person was only a carcass and he was pressing his lips on a skeleton.
he wouldn't let her go
a/n: lots of changmin feels right now. i haven't written anything like this in months.
one, he remembers her smile.
it was snowing and he didn't really enjoy getting coffee because it reminded him of her. the same her that he fell in love with three years ago. but there was someone else in her position, her eyes glistening with familiarity and compassion. even the tips of her eyelashes reminded him of perfect curls that he used to pull on.
"where's sooyeon?" he asked when he reached the front of the line. and her dark eyes glance at his, hesitating, but then the corner of her lips twisted into a smile. it reminded him of the coffee that he hasn't gotten in over a year.
"she quit," she simply stated. and it was those two words that caused him to tear away at his heart. but her lips were still curled into that smile as he ordered his americano and it never left her lips.
two, she whispered him stardust.
he was over at her apartment, waiting for her to come to bed and tell her of his worries. but instead, he found her splayed across her bed, her eyes on the edge of slumber and insomnia.
and it was quiet. the silence that overcame his emptiness. he swore she could hear his heart and how it raced at three am.
"you'll be okay," she whispered into his ears. it was a melody he wasn't used to, violin strings didn't screech when he pull on them. it was kind and soft. she was a soul he would have to steal and hide in a jar. he wouldn't let her go.
three, she spoke him into sunflowers.
"hey."
it was silent after that. no words were uttered. he stared at his phone, waiting for the other line to hang up or say a word to him. but there wasn't, her lips were locked and sealed, complete and utter silence at four am.
he didn't know what to say. he didn't want her to know that he dreamed about her for the last few months or how he wanted to press his body against hers. or how the sun shines on her face at right moment to show him all the scars upon her body and he can see right through her facade. but he didn't. those words didn't. need to be uttered.
and so they stayed in the silent, his yearnings going unheard.
four, she lingers on his lips.
he found her lips. not the girl he's been dreaming of for the last couple of weeks, but the one who broke his heart years ago.
"sooyeon," he started, but she pulled on his tie, drenched him in lust and he knew this was real, but it seemed as though the gods wanted to be cruel to him and decide that the girl he was dreaming of was nothing more than a mere imagination.
but while she kissed him, she still lingered on his lips. the taste of sweet seduction, mocha lattes and dazzling winter lights, they lingered on his lips while she kissed him. because he's not in love with sooyeon, but with the auburn beauty that told him she was gone a year ago.
"i love you, changmin."
it was impulse for him to say it back to her. the same words that he was saving when he fell in the sea of sadness. but he knew these words were as empty as he spoke, his soul belonged to someone else. but yet he uttered those words, shadows captured his mouth, his lips moved on their accord, he was only a puppet. and yet he stared at the blonde, uttering those same words again and again. love, love, love, and every time he worked those words into the thin air, the knife twisted and he wanted to shout in pain.
but he was lost, he waited for the other to pull him out and drown his miseries with her own lips. her rose petal scent lingered as sooyeon kissed him once more.
(sooyeon smelled like coffee and another man's cologne.)
five, he knows that he loves her.
"hey."
they sat in silence, her eyes focused on the paperwork in front of her. he used to make her look up at him, smile and steal his soul. but he knew he was still in love with her, surrendering his mistakes under his eyelids, hoping that one day she would look at him and realize that he was in love with her.
"where's sooyeon?" she asked, her eyes on the verge of slumber. she never looked up, the knife sunk deeper into his back.
"i don't know."
yoona smiled faintly, the corner of her lips never reached the point of happiness. and in the year that he knew her, her eyes twinkled with a sadness he looked hard for. he wanted to capture all her tears and drink it as though it was bitter alcohol before she could show him the dismal stars implanted on her collarbone.
"okay."
yoona stole one look. he took his chance. he kissed her lips and tied strings with her as he kissed her lips, whispering love and lust into her ears, begging her to stay with him. but he smashed her soul a week ago, told her lies and left her to die. this person was only a carcass and he was pressing his lips on a skeleton.