Long nights and short days, I am aware
I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone is leaving and even though I am not good good friends with anyone who is leaving, I still feel so lonely. More lonely than usual. When I am with all of the people I hang out with, I always have the time of my life. But...now it's coming to an end. I will be utterly alone, literally! I don't think it's actually hit anyone yet how everyone is going to be doing their own thing. Everyone will have their own new friends and new things going on. People are goign to change, I'm going to change and it will all be different. Our lives will all be different in a few weeks. I don't know if I can handle it. Everyone says we are all going to visit all the time. But who has time for that and face it, once you get into the grove of all your new things; then you will not want to visit all the time. I guess that's a part of life. Experiencing things, having fun, then moving on. I like new things, but when I'm so alone I don't feel so confident. I don't really know if this is coming out right. I'm just rambling because there is so much going on in my head. I really love everyone that I have come to be friends with this last school year and summer. I can't say that I have ever had more fun than this summer. Even though I have worked a lot, it's been worth it and I don't regret it. Even though I have had a few arguments with people, it's all been worth it because I realize how much I've grown and how much I am continuing to grow up. I like that part. But I don't know what I'm going to do. I am so scared about the future, about uncertainness. Although I do love love love doing and learning new things, at frist it's scary. I feel like I portray this badass and a lot of people think I'm a bitch because of that image. But that's really not me at all. The people that are super close to me, that know the real me, know how I am. I am very soft and fragile on the inside. I don't know why I just can't let go and be me sometimes. It's so hard for me to take criticism sometimes and sometimes I am very calm and responsive to it. I really don't know where this is going, or where it started...if anyone is still reading this...just bare with me. I am just rambling. I don't think anyone really reads this anyways. But ANYWAYS... After everyone is gone and settled into their new lives, I hope everyone is happy. I hope that no one regrets their choices of going away and I hope that everyone is strong enough to do it on their own. I really do. I wish everyone the best of luck.
Blah blah blah, right?
Blah blah blah, right?