I'm so confused...
Well Ben is in town from Florida. And he didn't even call me when he got up here. I randomly called him last night to see if he was here yet and he said he got in Saturday night. I feel really left out from his life. When we were together it all happened so fast and it was wonderful. And then he just left. He took off to Florida. I knew he was leaving and I was a little apprehensive about persuing anything. But it was just too good to let go off before I had to. When he left there was no talk about what we were. We just were. When Shannon and I went to visit him and James for Spring Break last here it was the best time of my life. Shannon and I were very close and all of us got along so well. I don't know when it fell apart. Him and I were perfect once again. But it was very short lived and then we were just over, like that, again. I don't understand what even happened because it was all so fast and short, but perfect. It's really depressing. I rarely talk to him. He blames it on me because I only call him like once a month. But do I ever get calls from him? No...and I understand that he works like 60 hours a week to support himself down there. But I am busy too. I don't know what's going on. It's really confusing. And then Shannon is always changing her feelings towards me. I never know what's going on with her. I always try and talk to her. When I call her and she doesn't pick up she never calls back. When I call her and she picks up she is always busy. I do understand that she is a busy lady also. But how much does it take to dial a number and have a minute conversation with someone to see what's been going on with each other? I am just really confused because I don't understand what I did to either of them. Now that Ben's back in town, I feel like Shannon is ignoring me because she doesn't want me to see him. I don't want to believe that's what she's doing because I thought we were good friends, but that's just what it feels like to me. She won't return my calls. Then when I talked to Ben it was really awkward, but he told me he was having a party at Shannon's on Tuesday. I really want to go to see him. But if I haven't talked to Shannon it will be super awkward walking in to her house not knowning if she wants me there or not. I just don't know what to do.