Sono Hachisu wo Umeru Mono [trans. in progress]
その蓮（はちす）を埋めるもの
That Which Buries That Lotus Flower (??? Help.)
失うものはない。私は何も持たぬから。
ushinau mono wa nai. watashi wa nanimo motanu kara.
I have nothing to lose. Because I have nothing.
これはただの器、私は、洞だ。
kore wa tada no utsuwa, watashi wa, uro da.
I am simply a vessel, I am a hole to be filled.
お師匠の余剰な陰の気を受けるだけのもの。
oshishou no yojou na in no ki wo ukeru dake no mono.
Something to simply receive my Master's excess yin energy.
このまじないが、私を唯一この世につなぎとめるもの。
kono majinai ga, watashi wo, yuitsu kono yo ni tsunagi tomeru mono.
This curse is the sole thing that binds me to this world.
ずっと、そう理解していた。
zutto, sou rikaishite ita.
I have always understood this fact.
あの不思議なものを受けるまで。
ano fushigi na mono wo ukeru made.
Until I took in that mysterious thing.
―心のかけら
----kokoro no kakera
The "piece of heart".
それはあるはずのないもの。
sore wa aru hazu no nai mono.
Something that should not have existed.
他の誰のものが見つかっても、決して私にだけは見つからないはずのもの。
hoka no dare no mono ga mitsukatte mo, kesshite watashi ni dake wa mitsukaranai hazu no mono.
Even if others' are found, mine surely should not have been found.
私には何もない。
watashi ni wa nani mo nai.
I have nothing.
だからなくなることはなく、戻ってくるはずもない。
dakara nakunaru koto wa naku, modotte kuru hazu mo nai.
So since there is nothing that has been lost, there is nothing that should have "come back".
......はずだった。
......hazu datta.
......that is how it should have been.
最初のかけらを得た時のことを、お前に語るのは難しい。
saisho no kakera wo eta toki no koto wo, omae ni kataru no wa muzukashii.
When I acquired the final piece, what I was told by you was complicated.
「ない」ものが「ある」状態になる不可解さ。あの触感
"nai" mono ga "aru" joutai ni naru fukakaisa. ano shokkan.
The incomprehensible mystery of that which was "not there" becoming "there". That sensation.
気が集まり、痛みにも似た熱を持つ
ki ga atsumari, itami ni mo nita netsu wo motsu.
Feelings coalesced, a heat that resembled pain.
流れ込む。私に。留めることなどできない。
nagarekomu. watashi ni. todomeru koto nado wa dekinai.
They came pouring out. Through me. I could not so much as stop them.
心のかけらは、私に与えられた｢器」という意味を否定した。
kokoro no kakera wa, watashi ni ataerareta "utsuwa" to iu imi wo hiteishita.
The pieces of heart negated the meaning I had been given as "vessel".
私はそれを理解できなかった。
watashi wa sore wo rikai dekinakatta.
I could not comprehend that.
次で覚える、その理不尽さと、それに対する怒り。
tsugi de oboeru, sono rifujinsa to, sore ni taisuru ikari.
Next was to remember the irrationality of it, and the anger towards it.
自分が、自分の考えているものと異なる存在だと知ること。
jibun ga, jibun no kangaeteiru mono to kotonaru sonzai da to shiru koto.
Your realization that you are a different existence than you had thought you were.
そんなことはあり得ないと、そう思ったのに(思ったら）
sonna koto wa arienai to, sou omotta no ni (omottara)
That is impossible, or so I thought
心のかけらは、私の浅慮を打ち砕く。
kokoro no kakera wa, watashi no senryo wo uchikudaku.
The pieces of heart destroyed my thoughtlessness.
二つ、同時に飛び込んで、一息に己を侵食する。
futatsu, douji ni tobikonde, hitoiki ni onore wo shinshoku suru.
Two, flying into me simultaneously, in an instant took their toll on me.
指先にまであふれるような痺れ。
yubisaki ni made afureru you na shibire.
A numbness that seemed to flow, all the way to my fingers.
「恐怖」ですらない。
kyoufu desuranai.
Not "fear".
「絶望」、そんな名前だ。
zetsubou, sonna namae da.
"Hopelessness", that sort of name.
お前が望むなら、そんな望みを叶える。
omae ga nozomu nara, sonna nozomi wo kanaeru.
If that is what you hope for, that kind of wish can be granted.
それだけのはずだったのに。
sore dake no hazu datta no ni.
That is all it should have been.
なぜ、｢願う」のか。
naze, "negau" no ka.
Why do you "wish"?
｢絶望」、それは己の浅ましさを知ることだ。
"zetsubou", sore wa onore no asamashisa wo shiru koto da.
"Hopelessness", that is to know your own wretchedness.
お前の中に、自分の存在の意味を留めおきたいと願、その浅ましさ。
omae no naka ni, jibun no sonzai no imi wo todomeokitai to negau, sono asamashisa.
Inside of you, to wish that you finally have the meaning to your own existence -- that wretchedness.
一つは光、一つは怒り、そして、絶望。
hitotsu wa hikari, hitotsu wa ikari, soshite, zetsubou.
One was light, one was anger, and then, hopelessness.
…では四つ目は？
...de wa yotsume wa?
...then, the fourth was?
「この理解できぬ四つ目のかけらは、お前を穢すかもしれない」
"kono rikai dekinu yotsume no kakera wa, omae wo kegasu kamoshirenai"
"This fourth piece, that I cannot comprehend, will probably stain your purity"
だからお前から離れたのに―
dakara omae kara hanareta no ni--
That is why I fled from you, but--
他ならぬお前が、私に教えた。
hokanaranu omae ga, watashi ni oshieta.
It was none other than you, who taught me.
四つ目の心のかけらの意味を。
yotsume no kokoro no kakera no imi wo.
The meaning of that fourth piece of heart.
思えば、あれはお前が私にくれた大切なものばかりなのだろう。
omoeba, are wa omae ga watashi ni kureta taisetsu na mono bakari na no darou.
If I think about it, that would only be the important thing that you gave to me.
お前の声は私の中に降り積もり、それは｢暖かい」ということを知る。
omae no koe wa watashi no naka ni furitsumori, sore wa "atatakai" to iu koto wo shiru.
Your voice blankets my heart, and I know what is called "warm".
絶望を希望に変えることを。
zetsubou wo kibou ni kaeru koto wo.
That hopelessness can be changed into hope.
お前の指が暖かいことを、
omae no yubi ga atatakai koto wo,
That your fingers are warm,
お前の心が優しいことを、
omae no kokoro ga yasashii koto wo,
That your heart is kind and gentle,
己の中に光があることを、
onore no naka ni hikari ga aru koto wo,
That there is a light inside of me,
―心があることを。
--kokoro ga aru koto wo.
--that I have a heart.
I kind of stole this from your post on the AL.com forums, playingmyrole-san, and checked it against the lyrics on your site, soupychan-san ^^;;
That Which Buries That Lotus Flower (??? Help.)
失うものはない。私は何も持たぬから。
ushinau mono wa nai. watashi wa nanimo motanu kara.
I have nothing to lose. Because I have nothing.
これはただの器、私は、洞だ。
kore wa tada no utsuwa, watashi wa, uro da.
I am simply a vessel, I am a hole to be filled.
お師匠の余剰な陰の気を受けるだけのもの。
oshishou no yojou na in no ki wo ukeru dake no mono.
Something to simply receive my Master's excess yin energy.
このまじないが、私を唯一この世につなぎとめるもの。
kono majinai ga, watashi wo, yuitsu kono yo ni tsunagi tomeru mono.
This curse is the sole thing that binds me to this world.
ずっと、そう理解していた。
zutto, sou rikaishite ita.
I have always understood this fact.
あの不思議なものを受けるまで。
ano fushigi na mono wo ukeru made.
Until I took in that mysterious thing.
―心のかけら
----kokoro no kakera
The "piece of heart".
それはあるはずのないもの。
sore wa aru hazu no nai mono.
Something that should not have existed.
他の誰のものが見つかっても、決して私にだけは見つからないはずのもの。
hoka no dare no mono ga mitsukatte mo, kesshite watashi ni dake wa mitsukaranai hazu no mono.
Even if others' are found, mine surely should not have been found.
私には何もない。
watashi ni wa nani mo nai.
I have nothing.
だからなくなることはなく、戻ってくるはずもない。
dakara nakunaru koto wa naku, modotte kuru hazu mo nai.
So since there is nothing that has been lost, there is nothing that should have "come back".
......はずだった。
......hazu datta.
......that is how it should have been.
最初のかけらを得た時のことを、お前に語るのは難しい。
saisho no kakera wo eta toki no koto wo, omae ni kataru no wa muzukashii.
When I acquired the final piece, what I was told by you was complicated.
「ない」ものが「ある」状態になる不可解さ。あの触感
"nai" mono ga "aru" joutai ni naru fukakaisa. ano shokkan.
The incomprehensible mystery of that which was "not there" becoming "there". That sensation.
気が集まり、痛みにも似た熱を持つ
ki ga atsumari, itami ni mo nita netsu wo motsu.
Feelings coalesced, a heat that resembled pain.
流れ込む。私に。留めることなどできない。
nagarekomu. watashi ni. todomeru koto nado wa dekinai.
They came pouring out. Through me. I could not so much as stop them.
心のかけらは、私に与えられた｢器」という意味を否定した。
kokoro no kakera wa, watashi ni ataerareta "utsuwa" to iu imi wo hiteishita.
The pieces of heart negated the meaning I had been given as "vessel".
私はそれを理解できなかった。
watashi wa sore wo rikai dekinakatta.
I could not comprehend that.
次で覚える、その理不尽さと、それに対する怒り。
tsugi de oboeru, sono rifujinsa to, sore ni taisuru ikari.
Next was to remember the irrationality of it, and the anger towards it.
自分が、自分の考えているものと異なる存在だと知ること。
jibun ga, jibun no kangaeteiru mono to kotonaru sonzai da to shiru koto.
Your realization that you are a different existence than you had thought you were.
そんなことはあり得ないと、そう思ったのに(思ったら）
sonna koto wa arienai to, sou omotta no ni (omottara)
That is impossible, or so I thought
心のかけらは、私の浅慮を打ち砕く。
kokoro no kakera wa, watashi no senryo wo uchikudaku.
The pieces of heart destroyed my thoughtlessness.
二つ、同時に飛び込んで、一息に己を侵食する。
futatsu, douji ni tobikonde, hitoiki ni onore wo shinshoku suru.
Two, flying into me simultaneously, in an instant took their toll on me.
指先にまであふれるような痺れ。
yubisaki ni made afureru you na shibire.
A numbness that seemed to flow, all the way to my fingers.
「恐怖」ですらない。
kyoufu desuranai.
Not "fear".
「絶望」、そんな名前だ。
zetsubou, sonna namae da.
"Hopelessness", that sort of name.
お前が望むなら、そんな望みを叶える。
omae ga nozomu nara, sonna nozomi wo kanaeru.
If that is what you hope for, that kind of wish can be granted.
それだけのはずだったのに。
sore dake no hazu datta no ni.
That is all it should have been.
なぜ、｢願う」のか。
naze, "negau" no ka.
Why do you "wish"?
｢絶望」、それは己の浅ましさを知ることだ。
"zetsubou", sore wa onore no asamashisa wo shiru koto da.
"Hopelessness", that is to know your own wretchedness.
お前の中に、自分の存在の意味を留めおきたいと願、その浅ましさ。
omae no naka ni, jibun no sonzai no imi wo todomeokitai to negau, sono asamashisa.
Inside of you, to wish that you finally have the meaning to your own existence -- that wretchedness.
一つは光、一つは怒り、そして、絶望。
hitotsu wa hikari, hitotsu wa ikari, soshite, zetsubou.
One was light, one was anger, and then, hopelessness.
…では四つ目は？
...de wa yotsume wa?
...then, the fourth was?
「この理解できぬ四つ目のかけらは、お前を穢すかもしれない」
"kono rikai dekinu yotsume no kakera wa, omae wo kegasu kamoshirenai"
"This fourth piece, that I cannot comprehend, will probably stain your purity"
だからお前から離れたのに―
dakara omae kara hanareta no ni--
That is why I fled from you, but--
他ならぬお前が、私に教えた。
hokanaranu omae ga, watashi ni oshieta.
It was none other than you, who taught me.
四つ目の心のかけらの意味を。
yotsume no kokoro no kakera no imi wo.
The meaning of that fourth piece of heart.
思えば、あれはお前が私にくれた大切なものばかりなのだろう。
omoeba, are wa omae ga watashi ni kureta taisetsu na mono bakari na no darou.
If I think about it, that would only be the important thing that you gave to me.
お前の声は私の中に降り積もり、それは｢暖かい」ということを知る。
omae no koe wa watashi no naka ni furitsumori, sore wa "atatakai" to iu koto wo shiru.
Your voice blankets my heart, and I know what is called "warm".
絶望を希望に変えることを。
zetsubou wo kibou ni kaeru koto wo.
That hopelessness can be changed into hope.
お前の指が暖かいことを、
omae no yubi ga atatakai koto wo,
That your fingers are warm,
お前の心が優しいことを、
omae no kokoro ga yasashii koto wo,
That your heart is kind and gentle,
己の中に光があることを、
onore no naka ni hikari ga aru koto wo,
That there is a light inside of me,
―心があることを。
--kokoro ga aru koto wo.
--that I have a heart.
I kind of stole this from your post on the AL.com forums, playingmyrole-san, and checked it against the lyrics on your site, soupychan-san ^^;;