(no subject)
i bought a red dress today for the formal. pics:
I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.
life has been pretty good lately. let's see:
- i got my spunkiness back this past week. i missed it a lot. i feel fucking great.
- my boss is taking a year leave of absence to follow the WNBA and write a book. i'll be transcribing her interviews and fact-checking over the summer. i might also be a magazine assistant at school, training my new boss. ROCK.
- i'm really enjoying my singledom. i'd love to be in a long-term relationship, but my life is a little too hectic right now.
- i fended off a boy i met at ely's. we were talking for a few hours and he was like, "we'd make a good couple, wanna be my girlfriend?" and i politely declined. we then continued talking, and at one point he had his arm around me. it was 4 a.m., and i was way tired and wanted to go to sleep, but he clung onto my arm and got all whiny and said "no stay, stay" like a little boy and i was like, no. the next day he asked me what i was up to, and i said i was going home, and he was like "ok i'll come with you." HOW ABOUT NO? he kept calling me saturday night, trying to set up plans, and i told him that i really didn't have time to hang out with him. that was the end of that. i sound like a bitch. but, he's 24 with no license, no job (i don't care if his dad is filthy rich from owning 700 avenue stores, i still don't want to wake up next to you, ever), and not much going on in the looks department. i need to be attracted to the person in some way. plus, the clinginess turned me off A LOT. where do i find these guys? how do they find me? and tom's right: why can't i date someone normal? but i know i'll find someone.
- i have a lot on my to do list, but people are here now and more are coming later. so homework/work related stuff can wait.
- my grandpa's in the hospital and it's not good but i'm not allowed to be upset about it because he's not my father. yup, that's how it works in my family. it's great.
- OH HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY GOOD! i'm being inducted into a communication arts honors society because of my grades. i'm really excited. i feel smart.
- i saw closer and it was great. very raw.
- i just feel really, really good about things right now. i love the way i look too, finally. it only took me 22 years.
I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.
life has been pretty good lately. let's see:
- i got my spunkiness back this past week. i missed it a lot. i feel fucking great.
- my boss is taking a year leave of absence to follow the WNBA and write a book. i'll be transcribing her interviews and fact-checking over the summer. i might also be a magazine assistant at school, training my new boss. ROCK.
- i'm really enjoying my singledom. i'd love to be in a long-term relationship, but my life is a little too hectic right now.
- i fended off a boy i met at ely's. we were talking for a few hours and he was like, "we'd make a good couple, wanna be my girlfriend?" and i politely declined. we then continued talking, and at one point he had his arm around me. it was 4 a.m., and i was way tired and wanted to go to sleep, but he clung onto my arm and got all whiny and said "no stay, stay" like a little boy and i was like, no. the next day he asked me what i was up to, and i said i was going home, and he was like "ok i'll come with you." HOW ABOUT NO? he kept calling me saturday night, trying to set up plans, and i told him that i really didn't have time to hang out with him. that was the end of that. i sound like a bitch. but, he's 24 with no license, no job (i don't care if his dad is filthy rich from owning 700 avenue stores, i still don't want to wake up next to you, ever), and not much going on in the looks department. i need to be attracted to the person in some way. plus, the clinginess turned me off A LOT. where do i find these guys? how do they find me? and tom's right: why can't i date someone normal? but i know i'll find someone.
- i have a lot on my to do list, but people are here now and more are coming later. so homework/work related stuff can wait.
- my grandpa's in the hospital and it's not good but i'm not allowed to be upset about it because he's not my father. yup, that's how it works in my family. it's great.
- OH HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY GOOD! i'm being inducted into a communication arts honors society because of my grades. i'm really excited. i feel smart.
- i saw closer and it was great. very raw.
- i just feel really, really good about things right now. i love the way i look too, finally. it only took me 22 years.