Where Are You Christmas?
It's a strange feeling to step outside my world, take a look at each individual relationship with my friends, and almost positively be able to hand pick which ones I will and will not keep in touch with after high school. It's not that I would rather keep in touch with some more than others. But I think everyone gets an instinctive feeling about their current friends and which ones would be willing to put out the effort to keep in touch and which ones will just be ready to move on all together. The strange thing is, when looking at all the people I know trying to keep in touch with would be a lost cause, I don't feel any resentment toward them. I just take it in as an inevitable fact of life that people fade in and out of my life and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But those that stick around ... you better hope to the dear Lord that you put just as much effort into them as they do to you.
Is it just my semi-dysfunctional family, or does Christmas always cause just as much stress and turmoil among family family members in everyone else's family too? Every year the same thing happens: my mom finds some minimal reason to lose her head, get pissed off and become passive-aggressive toward everyone, then my dad tries his hardest to get her talking, then I get pissed off because my mom is being selfish with how she's acting, and then my brother continues to inject his stupidity where it's needed the least, not that it's ever needed at all. But then it comes time to open the presents and everything is peachy keen between everyone. It kinda makes me mad that material possessions and people feeling the need to put on a face and feel grateful are the things that bring my family together in the end. It's kinda like we paid each other off with these gifts so we'd all just shut up and get along. I resent my mother for the way I feel about Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that's a whole different story.
Is it just my semi-dysfunctional family, or does Christmas always cause just as much stress and turmoil among family family members in everyone else's family too? Every year the same thing happens: my mom finds some minimal reason to lose her head, get pissed off and become passive-aggressive toward everyone, then my dad tries his hardest to get her talking, then I get pissed off because my mom is being selfish with how she's acting, and then my brother continues to inject his stupidity where it's needed the least, not that it's ever needed at all. But then it comes time to open the presents and everything is peachy keen between everyone. It kinda makes me mad that material possessions and people feeling the need to put on a face and feel grateful are the things that bring my family together in the end. It's kinda like we paid each other off with these gifts so we'd all just shut up and get along. I resent my mother for the way I feel about Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that's a whole different story.