my most negative entry EVER~enjoy folks

[sarajo]

ok so i can't really remember how much i put in that last entry so here goes my horrible friday the 13th. well actually it started at about 9 on thursday night when bob (the proprietor) switched everything around on the board and it was my first time closing alone and i stressed out and everyone yelled. then, i thought i had gotten stood up, but it turns out i didn't and i met up with tyler. we hung out. things happened that shouldnt have. its too much to go into detail on here plus its more on the personal side. anyhow, things got really messed up. i woke up waaaay too early and went to take my chemistry test. failed it. then we all went to breakfast/lunch. and you could for real cut the tension with a knife. basically tyler hates me. we finally talked about it last night and he just says he gets retarded and stuff happens. also "we're working on things" came up and i felt awful. somehow i always manage to get screwed over whenever i see him. ya know i thought for some odd reason that there might still be some feelings there deep down on his part but i feel like he basically let me know that he just gets to where he can't control himself. so yeah. it hurt. ALOT. im not gonna lie. when you think someone loves you and wouldnt hurt you, it really sucks when they end up being like al, who you have told them about and they know how much stuff like that kills you. anyway, at some point i had moved my car up to the hill when i went to see steph for like the 4th time that day. so after tyler and i talked and i finally saw the light as to what i was to him, it all just completely hit me. outback, money problems, him, valentines day, that chemistry test, and like 2099384 more things. i completely lost it and basically cried walking all the way back to my dorm. my roomate was leaving but told me to call her if i needed her to come home. then~in a split second i realized i wanted to see my best friend and get the hell out of auburn. so i walked (still crying) to the tt stop. they took me to CZONE...when i realized my car was on the hill. so i walked from beardeaves to stephs dorm lol. at which point i found the ticket on my car. at which point i got in and blindly drove to moes bc i had to see someone who loves me! (yay for stephanie) and got a JC for the road. drove 90 the whole way and decided i didnt want to party with lauren, i wanted to go home and see my parents. i decided to stop by bham southern anyway and ended up getting lost for 45 minutes "taking a shortcut" on the north side. called my dad and he told me how to get home. i got home and basically crashed in my bed. my throat hurts hella bad though so it was hard to sleep. around 2:45 i woke up and steph had called a few times. so i called her back, we talked, etc. went back to sleep. ha this is where it gets even worse. at 4 this morning...i wake up and my stomache hurts sooooo freaking bad. i dont know if it was bc i hadnt eaten in two days and then i had half a JC or if i got it from tyler. but yeah my stomache was like gurgling. ew it was awful bc i hardly ever get sick like that (stomach of cast iron haha) so i stayed up from 4-now. my tummy still hurts. it was so sweet my dad left a card and some flowers out for my mommy this morning and she isnt awake yet, and they're going out tonight :) pretty soon im gonna have to make the long drive back to auburn and work from 4-11 which means ill probably be there until at least 11:30. we are going to be crazy busy and i'll make some good money. i think i sold my soul to outback, they have me working SO much. from here on out im working everyday until the schedule runs out, which is only like 4 more days but still...

whew. i was never superstitious but after that horrid day from hell...i dunno?!?

i apologize for this entry being so completely awful lol, its just tellin u guys how the life's been goin recently. fortunately today is a new day and im planning on making the best of it. i miss my happy-go-lucky self and im betting yall do too.