Latest Step Toward Normal
I had my annual mammogram and an appointment with my doctor today. I’ll tell you right up front - I was a nervous wreck. I lay awake all last night wondering, “What if it’s in the other breast? What if it’s spread out from the surgery site?”
The mammogram was typical. Not too comfortable, but not awful, either. We had a little trouble working around my port; it’s right where the paddle needs to come down. But we shifted and we tugged and finally got some good pictures.
Then I rode the elevator down one floor to see Dr. Longmire-Cook. She came in, said everything looked fine in the mammogram, and then felt around on my normal breast.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“What do you mean ‘what’s this?’?” I replied.
“I feel a lump.” Let me tell you, folks, I almost threw up right then. We went whizzing across the hall to the ultrasound machines, and I climbed on the table with shaky legs. She gelled me up, then passed the wand over it.
“It’s nothing,” she said. I almost threw up again, from relief. I swear, if it was another cancer and I had to go through it all over again, I would have run into the traffic on 86th Street. I just finished radiation on June 15th!
It was a bad couple of minutes there, but I don’t have to see her again until February. I complained about the pain I feel in my upper back and pectoral area, and she said it might get better, but it might not. We’ve just abused the poor thing too much. So what, I’m not dead. I was supposed to be by this time, and I’m not only NOT DEAD, I’m heading off to a convention this weekend, where I have a full schedule of panels and am helping host a party. So there, cancer.
Giddy with relief, I toddled down the hall to the breast cancer store, where they sell wigs, hats, all kinds of stuff - and prosthetic boobies. The lady treated me with incredible kindness, and the first bra she brought me fit. The first prosthesis she brought was a little too big, so she got me the next size down, and it was perfect. In twenty minutes, I had three new bras and a really nice prosthesis.
Bill and I celebrated with sushi. I’m so excited, because I get to go to Context this weekend looking fairly normal. My hair has grown out enough so it covers the tops of my ears, and I have two boobies! Yay!