blessings...more college stuff...
It's interesting how life works. Not too long ago I was feeling boring, unlikable, and not worth paying any sort of attention to at all. Just not special in general. Yes, I'm a child of God, but so is everyone else.
So then I complain to Heavenly Father about it, and then the magic begins. I stop worrying about it so much because I have better things to do than sit around and feel sorry for myself. And then people start dropping compliments. Mostly about my appearence, but then I get to spend fun time with people and it is so, so extremely gratifying to see the smiles and hear the laughter and be funny and nice and enthusiastic and know that people think I'm worthwhile.
Before though, it had a lot to do with my frustration with being shy. Not shy exactly, just not making new friends easily. At all. I never have anything to say that I think wouldn't sound stupid. No one cares who I am, they don't even know me and don't particularly want to. That whole deal. But you know what? Right now I don't really care. If I have to be around someone enough, I can be friends with them without really even trying. Did I try to become friends with Cindy or Melissa or Erin? No. We just ended up spending time togther and going, "Huh, she's actually pretty cool." Just give me a chance and I can be a cool person to be around.
But then of course there's the whole getting a chance thing. *sigh* I have GOT to be more open to people I don't know well.
That's actually why I'm thinking about not skipping a year after high school no matter what Cindy opts to do. Because at EFY, I didn't end up being the one in the corner that no one talked to. And that's awesome. And totally not what I expected. So I think it would be really instrumental for me to go out there all by myself and make new friends and not have someone right there to fall back on. But I'm not completely sure. I have to pray about it...and plus it depends on the move. When it'll happen, where we end up moving to, etc. And still a little bit on what Cindy decides.
As many things it would depend on, and as much part of me would like to be at home and with all my friends (Cindy especially!!!!) for as long as possible, another part of me thinks of it as an adventure.
Adventures are known for being tantalizing.