Thank you, Lisa.
4 January 2007
I was extremely sad yesterday. Depressed. I didn’t want to do anything to do with school, and some of the teachers noticed, which was nice. Dr. Frankel understood and said I was welcome to talk to him, and Mr. Byrnes asked if there was anything he could do. I thanked them both, but I knew I really wanted to see or talk to Lisa. I talked to Devon for a whole yesterday after a lot of moping about the house and attempting to do homework. I just don’t want to be alone at my house anymore. It’s not fun at all, it just leaves me to a whole lot of thinking that I don’t want to do.
I left Lisa a message on her answering machine and she called me back, and made me feel a whole lot better. She asked what I wanted, not what everyone says or what they say I should want. I told her that I wanted to be with Dave the way things were before all of this drama started, and she asked me how to attain that. I didn’t know, but she knew he had breeched my trust, and she said it was my job to give him the trust back. She said I would know when to cut it off, and when that happened, I should do it completely.
She told me I had to start putting myself first, and not worrying about everyone else, and I do agree with that. She said I had to stop being the mother, and start caring about myself, which I also agree with. I decided that I was going to try really hard to get our relationship to work again. I know we have to work together on that.
He called late last night after he got home from rehearsal, and I was happy. I was doing a Biology project, and I was happy for once. I could focus on the task at hand, and not worry about myself, which was good. School only sucks because when you’re trying to put yourself first and take care of yourself…well, it isn’t really possible when you’re in honors and AP classes. However, we talked, and he said he’d felt really guilty all day, and about how he had hurt me, and he had lied to me, and how he’s treated me really badly. Which was true, but I asked him if he wanted to be with me. He said he did, and then I said that we’d make it work. Together. That is what I really want to do.
I may be setting myself up for heartbreak again, but I do want to be with him. I want things to go back, if they can. I want to trust him. I want to be happy. We’ll see what happens in the future, but for now I’m just going to work on giving him my trust again, like Lisa said. What else can I do if I want it to work? I need to stop listening to other people saying I’m too good for him, and start listening to my heart and mind. My heart tells me to be with him, and my mind says he’s telling me the truth, and he really does want to be with me. I hope it all works out like be both want it to.
Thank you everyone for your warm comments. I really appreciate your support, and I do want everything to work out.
I was extremely sad yesterday. Depressed. I didn’t want to do anything to do with school, and some of the teachers noticed, which was nice. Dr. Frankel understood and said I was welcome to talk to him, and Mr. Byrnes asked if there was anything he could do. I thanked them both, but I knew I really wanted to see or talk to Lisa. I talked to Devon for a whole yesterday after a lot of moping about the house and attempting to do homework. I just don’t want to be alone at my house anymore. It’s not fun at all, it just leaves me to a whole lot of thinking that I don’t want to do.
I left Lisa a message on her answering machine and she called me back, and made me feel a whole lot better. She asked what I wanted, not what everyone says or what they say I should want. I told her that I wanted to be with Dave the way things were before all of this drama started, and she asked me how to attain that. I didn’t know, but she knew he had breeched my trust, and she said it was my job to give him the trust back. She said I would know when to cut it off, and when that happened, I should do it completely.
She told me I had to start putting myself first, and not worrying about everyone else, and I do agree with that. She said I had to stop being the mother, and start caring about myself, which I also agree with. I decided that I was going to try really hard to get our relationship to work again. I know we have to work together on that.
He called late last night after he got home from rehearsal, and I was happy. I was doing a Biology project, and I was happy for once. I could focus on the task at hand, and not worry about myself, which was good. School only sucks because when you’re trying to put yourself first and take care of yourself…well, it isn’t really possible when you’re in honors and AP classes. However, we talked, and he said he’d felt really guilty all day, and about how he had hurt me, and he had lied to me, and how he’s treated me really badly. Which was true, but I asked him if he wanted to be with me. He said he did, and then I said that we’d make it work. Together. That is what I really want to do.
I may be setting myself up for heartbreak again, but I do want to be with him. I want things to go back, if they can. I want to trust him. I want to be happy. We’ll see what happens in the future, but for now I’m just going to work on giving him my trust again, like Lisa said. What else can I do if I want it to work? I need to stop listening to other people saying I’m too good for him, and start listening to my heart and mind. My heart tells me to be with him, and my mind says he’s telling me the truth, and he really does want to be with me. I hope it all works out like be both want it to.
Thank you everyone for your warm comments. I really appreciate your support, and I do want everything to work out.