Sticks and stones, luv.
It's Sunday. Like clockwork, every Sunday, the German grandparents call and talk to their son (my father). For about twenty minutes every Sunday, this casual conversation is how two old Germans keep in touch with their emigrated offspring.
Because of my fluency in German I'm able to understand the conversations, even if I only catch one side. But I know my grandparents so well that I can pretty much accurately guess what their replies are.
This week hit me like a slap in the face. There I am, sitting in front of the TV playing Xenosaga II. My dad is a few feet behind me at his workstation, playing Yahoo! Canasta, and talking on the phone. The topic of conversation soon becomes me. How am I doing? Am I settled back into work now that the labour dispute is over? What is it exactly that I do in my new job? Things like that.
Now I do't know whether this is just habit for him, or if it's just his way of dropping a hint to me indirectly, but he starts talking about how the job I do still isn't along the lines of my education. He mentions how I've told him that TELUS will be hiring techs a-plenty in the near future due to the interest in launching the new IPTV service in the new year, and many techs being on the verge of retirement. Then he turns the conversation in a different direction, saying that despite how much I talk about it, he hasn't seen me take any initiative in getting a job of that sort. He mentions that:
'He's lazy. He's perfectly satisfied with the Status Quo. And why shouldn't he be? He lives under our roof doesn't pay a cent for room and board, you can't get much more comfortable than that. Oh sure, he talks about how much money he's saved, and how he plans to move out SOMEDAY, but I don't think he has any idea whatsoever about what the real world is like.'
Needless to say, I was hurt. I mean, he's talking about me behind my back, literally behind my back, to my grandparents. He makes me sound and feel like an utter failure. I hate him for it right now. Chalk up another reason to give my family a golden 'Fuck You!' the day I eventually do go.
I'll admit, I like to keep things simple. The simpler things are, the easier they're managed. This new job of mine starts paying at about $15 and a half dollars an hour. It's not great, but it eventually works its way up to $23 an hour and more. A wage I could quite easily live off of independantly, given my lifestyle. Keeing things simple also means more free time. When things are complex, there ends up being more stress, and stress is unhealthy. But I'm far from being a disappointment. I'm far from being a failure. I'm walking a path to success. So what if I'm talking baby steps, or taking a longer, safer road?
I have $13.5 thousand dollars saved up over two years, plus $1,700 dollars in TELUS stock, and $6K or so in retirement savings. I could take this very week and put a downpayment on a condo and move out in les sthan 7 days, but finances would be extremely difficult to manage. I'm not ready yet. I need to save more money. Not working for 4 months will put a serious damper on those efforts, The larger downpayment I put on what will become my future home, the easier it will be to manage mortgage payments. I want to live comfortably, and that is going to take a little more time.
But if there is one thing I am not, it's a failure.