it gets nowhere,
god knows how many times I've loaded this page, and spent ages just staring at the blinking cursor.
within seconds, life starts to play automatically in front of me, at the same time pulling me down this spiral-like hole.
and I can't seem to do anything but ask why? why now? why me? why does it feels as if there's no end.
and all this while, there's a small tiny part of me that's shouting, telling me to shut up and carry on. do not defy.
but the shouts were to no avail. the scenes just keep playing on and on and on.. and then finally,
my hand subconsciously manoeuvre the mouse to the X-button and clicks on it.
and today is no different. until I get what I had hoped for, I won't be satisfied.
I am not supposed to be in this loophole, not forever. I will get that change.
until then,