(no subject)
hating, hating, hating everything. feeling hedged in by everything. is it so wrong to want to do too many things too much of the time? i want to spend every moment of my life doing at least 5 different things - yeah each of them at every moment - as well as dozens of others that i want to do half or a quarter or some other fraction of the time. and the tricky thing to LJ about without sounding like a cunt is that i'm already doing so many of the things that i want. i just haven't been organizing properly in the recent past so i'm not enjoying the things i love and want and turn to STUPIDSTUPID shit like tv. or even just spending a bunch of time with social and political philosophy in lieu of kicking my ass on dodds class. anyone want to know how long its been since i've read ANYTHING for the grad lecture? almost the entire month of october. possibly actually the whole month. its jawdropping. jawdropworthy. i've written lovely poems, though. and i can't quite keep the scorn out of my (albeit, mental) voice. i've enjoyed myself writing the poems, and being sortve drifty in the way thats nice with poems. no driftiness in philosophy. to be able to move in and out of paradigms like water, though... a worthy goal.
namaste
namaste