(no subject)
weird feelings. FSS people, allison just added some of the most classic high school photos that exist. getting really angsty about finishing school - i want to stay! so much of the time i want to be done but then i have moments when i go, holy shit i have no idea what leibniz was about. or spinoza. or husserl and heidegger, really. i want to go read lukacs (pr. lukaash) again now that i actually know things. i want to cycle back and do everything again in light of everything else. but thats a thing that could never end. i want the experience of the give of the first critique again. why don't i LISTEN to the man? -no duplicate experiences. you cannot go home again because home was a once in a lifetime moment. right now is a new home and not seeing it is simply non presentness of mind. the poetrys been extremely calming. want to see more? no? too bad, suckas. these respond, respectively, to assignments for poems using sound, creating collage with found texts, subverting a myth, and using the pantoum form (4 lines per stanza, lines 2 and 4 become lines 1 and 3 of subsequent stanza).
Ramanujan (1887-1920)
So little shines miraculous where
there's so much cement. so much cinderblock in the city,
and in little rooms we're breaking through the night of Oxford, Cambridge mathematics circa 1910:
From Indian antiquity dreams came to him through a Smiling Blue Goddess singing
Math across his fading body
like doubling Degas dripping paint from inspired encrypted lips.
Inspired higher knowing of the tension exquisite complete with the light float dust mote dancers skirts
he was a link joining infinity to symbols scrambling on paper
(illuminated by the flashes of atoms he understood but never knew
he cried to the heavens
to keep his body motionless recording miracles on earth)
There is some connection between my winter dark,
blood on sand and atoms, modernism,
the fact that she's afraid to eat
and that I'm afraid to grow.
There is an ether that flows throughout like Siddhartha's river
more subtle, so much more quietly it flows and love will never disappear,
I am not alone.
I am comprised of atoms that kill and fears that kill and blood and enormous numbers,
and I am more than death and light (his skin is blue, his fight to breathe),
I am the force that flows and finds stitches to snip, pick out, re-stitch
(really reading rarely anymore, receding, my remembering of Ramanujan).
Uncollage
Structure will turn fragmentation and
out at dusk to sleep beyond the city walls(disorientation)
No collage - I uncollage you - untenable, untenable oceans
Scraps of passioniate belief no place in schools, emotions
Motions eat alive the stuff that stuffs me in between -
REDBULL Energy Drink Improves Performance especially during times of increased stress or strain Increase Endurance Increase Concentration and improves reaction speed Stimulates the metabolism: Not a significant source of
-anything useful because and this is mainly
structure gathers chaos vainly - vainly! -
collects triumphant bits of trash
[madewith100%additive-free,wholeleaf,naturaltobacco.Noreconstitutedstems.Upto25%moretobaccothanotherkingsizecigarettes.Noadditivesinourtobaccodoesnotmeanasafercigarette.]
and wandering floating bits of ash
reverse, relapse, routine -
Simple synthesis becomes unclear when I collage
Seethings writhe and irrelevant, stupid, unclear anxieties rage, “You have seen the Atlantis they were seeking, it is here, it exists- but one must enter it naked and alone, with no rags from the falsehoods of centuries, with the purest clarity of mind - not an innocent heart, but that which is much rare: an intransigent mind.”
I have seen me waiting wondering wandering
I sought to seek escape meandering
What good, to talk about what words MEAN
What gorgeous, unexpected beauty in things clean.
Experiment #6 - Subverted Myth Poem (Persephone’s Claimed)
Cast
Persephone: goddess of the underworld
Hades: god of the underworld
Phaeton: son of Helios, the sun
Demeter: goddess of the earth, fertility; Persephone’s mother
Phaeton drags as he drives I can’t help but think
the sun across the edge of the water to the west
almost as soon as he’s pulled it past the crescent east,
but merely foolish, pomegranate seeds - where could intention
be packed between so tightly fleshly lushly juices and seeds?
(sandwich boards through the underworld, spit(t)ing,
“I PUT YOU HERE” ? - put you here and I enjoyed
the juices, I want to say)
(I give birth to everything, I want to say,
I give birth to senseless dusty dryed-out famines
and I let my mother believe she is still green - let her believe
she let the ground languish while she anguished)
Efflorescence in a field of friends and Hades saw the darkness
the fertility teeming dark like loam
the sinister
she had taken from her mother unawares
He saw she saw it sinister
knew - she understood the cyclicality.
Gone before she was searching,
Demeter was searching for the water from upriver, anyway,
power had changed hands already when she jumped in his pick-up
and sped off to Hell.
Fruit below is fruit above and she was ready to withhold -
she understood the need of rain to be withheld and
hand steady sliced the skin in half.
Half cupped in hand she tongued the seeds sucking
the redness, meditatively, six times over,
and strung a necklace of them for her throat.
(Phaeton didn’t recognize me on the dancefloor
still too stupefied to understand - we had to give birth to blight
and submit to history flaying, saying,
“you were tricked, you didn’t know, you hungry thirsty greedy girl” -
how can I answer this myth, it is a charge of naïve complicity,
I wanted the fruit for all it was worth,
and it is the same principle whenever I eat the fruit, there is famine in some other mouth)
(didn’t know I was the one who dared him,
breathed in the ears of the boys who didn’t believe
his father is the sun)
Love-making Through Cigarette (Pantoum)
I
want
to
go
want
you
go
nowhere
you
hurt
nowhere
inside
hurt
lovingly
inside
or
lovingly
tremble
or
make
tremble
my
make
pulling
my
hair
pulling
silky
hair
whispers
silky
lips
whispers
(licks)
lips
clean
Licks
perspiring
clean
slowly
Perspiring
drags
slowly,
exhales
seems to me that i'm going to dodds lecture tonight because i fear the regret i'll feel if i don't go and find out it was spectacular. but there seems to be something problematic with doing things out of fear of regret as much as with not doing them out of fear or success/failure.
i meditated the other night - unbelievable, how much better i felt in the morning. i really do feel like i'm a bit dense, sometimes. but not too much - self love.
Ramanujan (1887-1920)
So little shines miraculous where
there's so much cement. so much cinderblock in the city,
and in little rooms we're breaking through the night of Oxford, Cambridge mathematics circa 1910:
From Indian antiquity dreams came to him through a Smiling Blue Goddess singing
Math across his fading body
like doubling Degas dripping paint from inspired encrypted lips.
Inspired higher knowing of the tension exquisite complete with the light float dust mote dancers skirts
he was a link joining infinity to symbols scrambling on paper
(illuminated by the flashes of atoms he understood but never knew
he cried to the heavens
to keep his body motionless recording miracles on earth)
There is some connection between my winter dark,
blood on sand and atoms, modernism,
the fact that she's afraid to eat
and that I'm afraid to grow.
There is an ether that flows throughout like Siddhartha's river
more subtle, so much more quietly it flows and love will never disappear,
I am not alone.
I am comprised of atoms that kill and fears that kill and blood and enormous numbers,
and I am more than death and light (his skin is blue, his fight to breathe),
I am the force that flows and finds stitches to snip, pick out, re-stitch
(really reading rarely anymore, receding, my remembering of Ramanujan).
Uncollage
Structure will turn fragmentation and
out at dusk to sleep beyond the city walls(disorientation)
No collage - I uncollage you - untenable, untenable oceans
Scraps of passioniate belief no place in schools, emotions
Motions eat alive the stuff that stuffs me in between -
REDBULL Energy Drink Improves Performance especially during times of increased stress or strain Increase Endurance Increase Concentration and improves reaction speed Stimulates the metabolism: Not a significant source of
-anything useful because and this is mainly
structure gathers chaos vainly - vainly! -
collects triumphant bits of trash
[madewith100%additive-free,wholeleaf,naturaltobacco.Noreconstitutedstems.Upto25%moretobaccothanotherkingsizecigarettes.Noadditivesinourtobaccodoesnotmeanasafercigarette.]
and wandering floating bits of ash
reverse, relapse, routine -
Simple synthesis becomes unclear when I collage
Seethings writhe and irrelevant, stupid, unclear anxieties rage, “You have seen the Atlantis they were seeking, it is here, it exists- but one must enter it naked and alone, with no rags from the falsehoods of centuries, with the purest clarity of mind - not an innocent heart, but that which is much rare: an intransigent mind.”
I have seen me waiting wondering wandering
I sought to seek escape meandering
What good, to talk about what words MEAN
What gorgeous, unexpected beauty in things clean.
Experiment #6 - Subverted Myth Poem (Persephone’s Claimed)
Cast
Persephone: goddess of the underworld
Hades: god of the underworld
Phaeton: son of Helios, the sun
Demeter: goddess of the earth, fertility; Persephone’s mother
Phaeton drags as he drives I can’t help but think
the sun across the edge of the water to the west
almost as soon as he’s pulled it past the crescent east,
but merely foolish, pomegranate seeds - where could intention
be packed between so tightly fleshly lushly juices and seeds?
(sandwich boards through the underworld, spit(t)ing,
“I PUT YOU HERE” ? - put you here and I enjoyed
the juices, I want to say)
(I give birth to everything, I want to say,
I give birth to senseless dusty dryed-out famines
and I let my mother believe she is still green - let her believe
she let the ground languish while she anguished)
Efflorescence in a field of friends and Hades saw the darkness
the fertility teeming dark like loam
the sinister
she had taken from her mother unawares
He saw she saw it sinister
knew - she understood the cyclicality.
Gone before she was searching,
Demeter was searching for the water from upriver, anyway,
power had changed hands already when she jumped in his pick-up
and sped off to Hell.
Fruit below is fruit above and she was ready to withhold -
she understood the need of rain to be withheld and
hand steady sliced the skin in half.
Half cupped in hand she tongued the seeds sucking
the redness, meditatively, six times over,
and strung a necklace of them for her throat.
(Phaeton didn’t recognize me on the dancefloor
still too stupefied to understand - we had to give birth to blight
and submit to history flaying, saying,
“you were tricked, you didn’t know, you hungry thirsty greedy girl” -
how can I answer this myth, it is a charge of naïve complicity,
I wanted the fruit for all it was worth,
and it is the same principle whenever I eat the fruit, there is famine in some other mouth)
(didn’t know I was the one who dared him,
breathed in the ears of the boys who didn’t believe
his father is the sun)
Love-making Through Cigarette (Pantoum)
I
want
to
go
want
you
go
nowhere
you
hurt
nowhere
inside
hurt
lovingly
inside
or
lovingly
tremble
or
make
tremble
my
make
pulling
my
hair
pulling
silky
hair
whispers
silky
lips
whispers
(licks)
lips
clean
Licks
perspiring
clean
slowly
Perspiring
drags
slowly,
exhales
seems to me that i'm going to dodds lecture tonight because i fear the regret i'll feel if i don't go and find out it was spectacular. but there seems to be something problematic with doing things out of fear of regret as much as with not doing them out of fear or success/failure.
i meditated the other night - unbelievable, how much better i felt in the morning. i really do feel like i'm a bit dense, sometimes. but not too much - self love.