(no subject)
much love and thanks to my lovely girls who sent their good vibes my way yesterday. while i was working yesterday afternoon, john walked in a talked to the head chef, tony. honestly, john is so lucky to have him as a friend. he has good perspective on a lot of things. basically, john was just really depressed and, like addicts do, thought that using would take some pain away. he knew what was going to happen. he didn't for a second think he was going to get away with it. so i think what john really needed was a reminder about why exactly he works so hard everyday to stay clean. its funny because all day tuesday i was fuming over how i thought he needed to be a little bit more grateful and stop being so depressed. he's had a good upbringing. parents that love him. he's been educated. he's travelled the world. he's been given a second chance. john is so lucky for the program that he's in. he's lucky that something like this fucking exists. he's lucky there is one in this area. he's lucky that he was able to find a job so quickly that is so close to his house. he's lucky that he has a mode of transportation to get there. he's lucky he can pay his bills. he's lucky that he has people to support him. he's just really fucking lucky. i'm glad he and i were able to talk yesterday. i saw him cry. i never thought i would see that. i'm glad i was able to be there for him. i love him. i can't help it. i do.