I feel like my whole world is turning upside down
It's amazing how when the end is in sight, all four years of my college career come flashing back like a bad movie. All the memories and regrets. In some ways I have changed dramatically during these four years and in other ways I am still the same person that I was on that first day in September of 2001.
I came to Ohio University scared to leave my family, my home and everything I've ever known. I cried when my parents left and many times after that during the first few weeks as I tried to make sense of my new life.
And now I am leaving Ohio University scared to leave my friends and everything I have known for the past four years. As the days dwindle and the future looms the tears come again.
I am returning home. How is this time going to be different from when I lived there in the past?
I am going home with a Bachelor's degree but is that going to make things any different?
I have no idea what the future holds. Sure I know the bare bones of it. Live at home, go to Kent for Master's in Library Science, hopefully find a library job. I have so many questions without answers.
But am I taking the easy way out? Should I have moved away and found a job?
Besides work and school next year, what will my life be like?
With friends spread across Ohio and other states, what will I do with my spare time?
Will I make new friends? If so, where will I find them?
Will my OU friends keep in touch? Will we make the effort to see each other and hang out? Will I be all alone?
I can't help but wish that I could take all of my friends from OU with me, to keep things the same forever. I hate change. I have so many good memories of my years at OU... the wednesday nights and Newman with my church family, hanging out with the Jeff girls (even though I lived in Biddle), going to concerts at the Front Room and O'Hooleys, going to all the restaurants in Athens with Lauren, etc.
And in thinking about the memories of OU, I also have to think about the regrets. I know I can't change the past, but there are some things that happened during my four years that may always remain a regret.
I regret some of the friendships that have grown distant over the years, that have gone from tell each other everything to a casual "hello, how are you?"
I also regret that I never found love or even was in a relationship while in college.
I regret that I spent so much time concentrating on the one person that I knew I could never have. And I will always wonder if I missed my opportunity with someone else because of it. Because thinking back, I think of that one party where maybe something would have happened with him had I not been stuck on the person I knew nothing would ever happen with. And when I realized that I liked him and that I wanted something to happen, it was too late.
I sometimes regret that I was not more outgoing, the type of person that everyone wants to be at the party rather than the person that stands in the corner.
Leaving college is really an emotional rollercoaster and I feel like I am on the ride of my life.
I don't even know what to do or say anymore.
I am just so scared of what my life is going to be like after June 11.
"Single beds for single lovers..."
I came to Ohio University scared to leave my family, my home and everything I've ever known. I cried when my parents left and many times after that during the first few weeks as I tried to make sense of my new life.
And now I am leaving Ohio University scared to leave my friends and everything I have known for the past four years. As the days dwindle and the future looms the tears come again.
I am returning home. How is this time going to be different from when I lived there in the past?
I am going home with a Bachelor's degree but is that going to make things any different?
I have no idea what the future holds. Sure I know the bare bones of it. Live at home, go to Kent for Master's in Library Science, hopefully find a library job. I have so many questions without answers.
But am I taking the easy way out? Should I have moved away and found a job?
Besides work and school next year, what will my life be like?
With friends spread across Ohio and other states, what will I do with my spare time?
Will I make new friends? If so, where will I find them?
Will my OU friends keep in touch? Will we make the effort to see each other and hang out? Will I be all alone?
I can't help but wish that I could take all of my friends from OU with me, to keep things the same forever. I hate change. I have so many good memories of my years at OU... the wednesday nights and Newman with my church family, hanging out with the Jeff girls (even though I lived in Biddle), going to concerts at the Front Room and O'Hooleys, going to all the restaurants in Athens with Lauren, etc.
And in thinking about the memories of OU, I also have to think about the regrets. I know I can't change the past, but there are some things that happened during my four years that may always remain a regret.
I regret some of the friendships that have grown distant over the years, that have gone from tell each other everything to a casual "hello, how are you?"
I also regret that I never found love or even was in a relationship while in college.
I regret that I spent so much time concentrating on the one person that I knew I could never have. And I will always wonder if I missed my opportunity with someone else because of it. Because thinking back, I think of that one party where maybe something would have happened with him had I not been stuck on the person I knew nothing would ever happen with. And when I realized that I liked him and that I wanted something to happen, it was too late.
I sometimes regret that I was not more outgoing, the type of person that everyone wants to be at the party rather than the person that stands in the corner.
Leaving college is really an emotional rollercoaster and I feel like I am on the ride of my life.
I don't even know what to do or say anymore.
I am just so scared of what my life is going to be like after June 11.
"Single beds for single lovers..."