Fic : Star Trek : In Somnus Nos Memor : (2/?)
Title : In Somnus Nos Memor
Warnings : Slash
Pairings : Kirk/McCoy
Rating : Pg for now?
Summary : "I don't want to go to sleep." "Why?" "I'm afraid I won't wake up."
Disclaimer : I own nothing
Notes : Done as a request for Stand_December. Writers block is not your friend so i am sorry it is short, i'm trying :( Also, un beta'd so forgive any mistakes... also, i dont know why there are funny dots between my paragraphs, it doesnt look like that in the edit window so i dont know how to fix it...
Bones growled in frustration as an alarm rang through his room, stirring him from the little sleep he was managing to get. It took his brain all of two seconds to catch up before he bolted up so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. His eyes darted to the computer screen linked into sickbay, the ones showing Jim’s vitals. Vitals that were now non-existent. Bones whole body felt like it had been dropped into cold water, his breath catching as a reality he refused to admit settled in over him.
“
Jim.” He choked, diving from the bed and pulling on his uniform. He didn’t care who he passed as he charged down the corridor, feet skidding as he all but burst through the sickbay doors. His blood rang in his ears as his eyes scanned the room, spotting first the empty bed he had left Jim in, second the crowd of Nurses at the other end of the room.
“
Move!” He growled, pushing his way through them. What he saw made his skin pale and his stomach turn.
“
Jim.” He breathed, falling to the floor next to his partner, hands frantically running over him. Jim’s whole frame was shaking, his fingers itching were they were pressed against the floor. His body was crumbled around himself, like he had literally fallen to the spot. His eyes were open but they were darting around frantically, blinking hard and fast. His breathing was sharp and hurried, it was as clear as day that he was beyond terrified. Bones wished he knew why.
“
Jim, hey, it’s me.” He said softly, laying a hand on his lovers shoulder and kneeling down close to him. Jim screwed his eyes shut and whimpered but his hand itched close to Bones, like it was following the sound of him talking. Bones took the hand in his own, holding it tightly.
“
You’re okay Jim, I’m here okay, I’ve got you.” He continued to say softly, reassuringly, nodding a silent thanks to Chapel as she handed him a tricorder. The device beeped and chimed as he ran it over Jim, glad to see that the mans brain waves had evened out slightly, though still not exactly near normal. He was running a high temperature, but for now, Bones was just glad that he was awake. It was like a weight being lifted.
“
Bones placed Jim down gently on the nearest bio bed, gripping Jims hand tightly as it seemed to blindly try to grasp onto him. Jims body still shook but his eyes seemed to still, locking onto Bones and just staring. Bones chest clenched at the look of helplessness there, the emptiness, loneliness.
I’m going to lift you up, okay Jim?” Bones said gently, moving his arms to wrap around his lovers frame. If Jim had any objections he didn’t voice them, just whimpering slightly and curling into Bones as he stood, lifting him in his arms. It was a testament to how much weight Jim had lost being stuck in bed that he was easy to move. Bones bit his lip to stop any sort of sound escaping his mouth, afraid that if he spoke now he would say something to get him taken away from the patient.
“
Jim?” He said, barely registering as the nurse moved about reattaching wires and tubes to Jim.
“
Bones.” Jims voice was barely above a whisper, nothing more than a breath of air past his lips.
“
Jim swallowed and nodded slowly. His brain felt slow and fuzzy, like he was trying to function through the other side of glass. He could see Bones in front of him, could hear his voice but it all felt too far away. He just wanted Bones to be close, to be able to feel him. He felt detached from his body, detached from himself. His whole frame shook every time he blinked, images flickering behind his lids. He barely felt the tears falling down his cheeks.
Do you remember what happened?”
“
Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Bones soothed, hand threading into his hair instinctively.
“
“That’s good Jim,” Bones said encouragingly. As soon as the words left his mouth Jim eyes widened more, if that was even possible, and furiously shook his head, seeming unaware of the pained expression it brought to his face.
“No, no, no.” Jim chanted over and over, breath catching in his throat. Jims nails dug into Bones hands as his grip tightened, briefly making Bones wonder where the sudden strength had come from.
“I don’t want to remember, please, please, I’m not a little kid anymore, I’m not.” Jim continued, eyes so insistent, so desperate as they gazed up at Bones.
“What?” Bones breathed, confusion settling in. “Jim, what do you mean you’re not a kid anymore?”
Jim whimpered and shook his head.
“It’s okay Jim, “ Bones soothed. “It’s okay, you can tell me. What does that mean?”
Jim could feel his breath getting shallower, could see the darkness creeping onto the edges of his vision and knew in the back of his mind that he had barely seconds before he lost conscious again. Bones face seemed to be drifting further and further away and he felt like screaming. Screaming for the man to stay, to pleasegodplease don’t leave him alone.
“What does that mean Jim? What happened on that planet?” Bones insisted somewhat desperately, the sight of his lover so broken tearing at his very soul.
“I’m not a kid anymore, “ Jim repeated again, eyes fluttering weakly, “he can’t touch me now, please don’t let him.”
Bones breath caught in his throat as Jim slipped away into unconsciousness, his last words seeming to ring through sickbay.
“Please, don’t let Frank touch me anymore.”
I remember.” Jim forced out, hand grabbing at Bones arm and pulling, fingers digging into the skin. “I remember everything.”
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