He's here!
2 am visit from my friend...
Still awake bc i slept all day. Hangovers are no fun! It felt so good not to have a care in the world. Then realizing the reason im drinking is to forget about him.
And he's here. I dont understand how we fight and exchange words the way we do and yet he still calls asking to come over.
I dont know how to say no. He throws it in my face too! "it was a waste of time walking here" well sweetheart i didnt make ya!
And that comment right there to him would turn into ten more mean comments from the both of us. It hasnt always been this way. In fact since we've been officially broken up our relationship has been better. That is until brown boy told him that i made out with a guy in the elevator. Whats even worse about the whole situation...i dont remember! Sucks so bad too. I completely am at fault for what i did but i wish in a way i would have some memory of it so that way i knew exactly what i did. Apparently it was some hard core making out. YIKES! I dont get it! For one i dont ever stick my tounge into somoenes mouth not even my bf it feels weird and is kinda gross! And then for me to do it to a stranger...which i dont remember [ looks, name, or the kiss] is so horrible. I told my parents about the situation...no help there. It's kind of what can u do about it now. For one i should have told him myself...hard to do when i didnt even remember! [that night was too crazy for life]. I know what i did was wrong and ill always remember being grabbed the way i was and litterally thrown out my house! I cried so hard that night. I didnt think a kiss would lead to that...and on top of everything else it was christmas. I really wish if Brown boy was going to tell him he waited a day later. How are u going to do that to a person on there christmas. Especially since he was already having a shitty one. Another thing that sits on top of my head is if he was trying to be such a good friend then why did he wait so long to tell him. Him and i hadnt been friends for a while, he did it to hurt us! Who the fuck trys to be a "friend" and says all he had to say and then adds...and u tell sarah it was me who told you. His intentions were wrong. Not to be a friend but to hurt someone and then throw it in anothers face. Congrats Brown boy. For one He doesnt like Brownie and two it was fucking christmas! Like i said they needed to wait and it would have been better if an actual friend were to tell him.
So now that all that had happened my 2 am visits are becoming uneasy. I feel he comes over to argue now. I dont care to argue back much until he hits a touchy subject...like "you know u dont even care....ur heartless...so when u get drunk do u kiss alot of guys?...are u having sex with them too... I wish so badly i could take it all back. I know i did wrong i mean apparently i even told Brown boy to keep it a secret. BUT why didnt anyone tell me i did this!!! WTF man. Not even Greggie! I told him about it and he was like oh yeah i think i remember. like wtf i wish someone who was actually there would tell me what the hell happened. My head hurts...crying and sleepin all day....i have no friends...i want to cry some more...i want to fly away!
Still awake bc i slept all day. Hangovers are no fun! It felt so good not to have a care in the world. Then realizing the reason im drinking is to forget about him.
And he's here. I dont understand how we fight and exchange words the way we do and yet he still calls asking to come over.
I dont know how to say no. He throws it in my face too! "it was a waste of time walking here" well sweetheart i didnt make ya!
And that comment right there to him would turn into ten more mean comments from the both of us. It hasnt always been this way. In fact since we've been officially broken up our relationship has been better. That is until brown boy told him that i made out with a guy in the elevator. Whats even worse about the whole situation...i dont remember! Sucks so bad too. I completely am at fault for what i did but i wish in a way i would have some memory of it so that way i knew exactly what i did. Apparently it was some hard core making out. YIKES! I dont get it! For one i dont ever stick my tounge into somoenes mouth not even my bf it feels weird and is kinda gross! And then for me to do it to a stranger...which i dont remember [ looks, name, or the kiss] is so horrible. I told my parents about the situation...no help there. It's kind of what can u do about it now. For one i should have told him myself...hard to do when i didnt even remember! [that night was too crazy for life]. I know what i did was wrong and ill always remember being grabbed the way i was and litterally thrown out my house! I cried so hard that night. I didnt think a kiss would lead to that...and on top of everything else it was christmas. I really wish if Brown boy was going to tell him he waited a day later. How are u going to do that to a person on there christmas. Especially since he was already having a shitty one. Another thing that sits on top of my head is if he was trying to be such a good friend then why did he wait so long to tell him. Him and i hadnt been friends for a while, he did it to hurt us! Who the fuck trys to be a "friend" and says all he had to say and then adds...and u tell sarah it was me who told you. His intentions were wrong. Not to be a friend but to hurt someone and then throw it in anothers face. Congrats Brown boy. For one He doesnt like Brownie and two it was fucking christmas! Like i said they needed to wait and it would have been better if an actual friend were to tell him.
So now that all that had happened my 2 am visits are becoming uneasy. I feel he comes over to argue now. I dont care to argue back much until he hits a touchy subject...like "you know u dont even care....ur heartless...so when u get drunk do u kiss alot of guys?...are u having sex with them too... I wish so badly i could take it all back. I know i did wrong i mean apparently i even told Brown boy to keep it a secret. BUT why didnt anyone tell me i did this!!! WTF man. Not even Greggie! I told him about it and he was like oh yeah i think i remember. like wtf i wish someone who was actually there would tell me what the hell happened. My head hurts...crying and sleepin all day....i have no friends...i want to cry some more...i want to fly away!