crazy on you.
since the last time i was on livejournal, pretty much a lot of things have gone wrong. i have been attacked from almost every direction and i'm pretty much sick of it. i thought i'd update this instead of delete my livejournal completely.
some things i am learning are:
the fulton county court system blows and i hate the government.
money sucks.
i don't trust God.
it feels really good to forgive and be forgiven.
life is too short to stay mad even though sometimes i get really mad.
i cannot let the enemy steal my joy.
i will never have a boyfriend because i'm crazy and my life is a mess.
i made 3 As and 1 B.
you know, i can make myself emotionally vunerable and emotionally availiable to as many boys as i want... and i have done that to a few boys and every time it backfires and i end up regretting it and then i end up feeling stupid. but how often to i make myself vunerable to God? ok, not much. i see the most amazing couples at Trinity and I know that's what God wants for me. but i'm obviously not ready yet. i think i love someone, but do i really? how can loving someone turn into resenting them.
all around me my friends are living great lives. traveling and living in other countries, pursuing dreams, etc. but what am i doing? i'm doing what i always do: work and go to school. sometimes i feel like that's what God wants for me and i know it's not the right thing for me to quit school, but i feel so unfulfilled. i don't pursue music even though i want to. what am i waiting for? to fall in love and make music with that guy? that is a desire of my heart but do i deserve it? no, i don't think i do. i am in one word: ridiculous. i live in a dream world, i fall in love with my friends, and then i want to die. words fall out of my mouth too quickly. i tell everyone how i feel and then they tell everyone and then my life is a mess. who is my rock?
what am i talking about.
my license is suspended.
i spent $588 on 2 tickets.
i have to move out of my apt this week.
my heart is broken.
my dad came and picked me up in atlanta tonight.
i have practically no pictures of our apt, and now all our furniture is gone.
i didn't talk to my mom on mothers day bc she didn't answer the phone.
annie knows.
a week from today i will be traveling to new orleans with a group from Trinity even though every possible thing has happened that has given me a reason not to go. i need to go, i have to, so i am.
we come back on saturday, june 3rd, which is the day over the rhine is playing at the variety playhouse. hopefully i will be able to go. i better be able to go bc i really need to see them.
i bet you haven't read this far, but this comign friday, the 26th, there is a show that i am playing at:
i know smyra sounds far away so most of you won't come, but it would be cool if you did.
some things i am learning are:
the fulton county court system blows and i hate the government.
money sucks.
i don't trust God.
it feels really good to forgive and be forgiven.
life is too short to stay mad even though sometimes i get really mad.
i cannot let the enemy steal my joy.
i will never have a boyfriend because i'm crazy and my life is a mess.
i made 3 As and 1 B.
you know, i can make myself emotionally vunerable and emotionally availiable to as many boys as i want... and i have done that to a few boys and every time it backfires and i end up regretting it and then i end up feeling stupid. but how often to i make myself vunerable to God? ok, not much. i see the most amazing couples at Trinity and I know that's what God wants for me. but i'm obviously not ready yet. i think i love someone, but do i really? how can loving someone turn into resenting them.
all around me my friends are living great lives. traveling and living in other countries, pursuing dreams, etc. but what am i doing? i'm doing what i always do: work and go to school. sometimes i feel like that's what God wants for me and i know it's not the right thing for me to quit school, but i feel so unfulfilled. i don't pursue music even though i want to. what am i waiting for? to fall in love and make music with that guy? that is a desire of my heart but do i deserve it? no, i don't think i do. i am in one word: ridiculous. i live in a dream world, i fall in love with my friends, and then i want to die. words fall out of my mouth too quickly. i tell everyone how i feel and then they tell everyone and then my life is a mess. who is my rock?
what am i talking about.
my license is suspended.
i spent $588 on 2 tickets.
i have to move out of my apt this week.
my heart is broken.
my dad came and picked me up in atlanta tonight.
i have practically no pictures of our apt, and now all our furniture is gone.
i didn't talk to my mom on mothers day bc she didn't answer the phone.
annie knows.
a week from today i will be traveling to new orleans with a group from Trinity even though every possible thing has happened that has given me a reason not to go. i need to go, i have to, so i am.
we come back on saturday, june 3rd, which is the day over the rhine is playing at the variety playhouse. hopefully i will be able to go. i better be able to go bc i really need to see them.
i bet you haven't read this far, but this comign friday, the 26th, there is a show that i am playing at:
i know smyra sounds far away so most of you won't come, but it would be cool if you did.