Bath Tub Pity Party
yes. I'm in the bath tub. Trying not to cry. I'm so frustrated, angry, upset and just plain over all of this. It's my body not cooperating, again. It's things not going as they should, again. It's my damned bad luck. I don't want to be induced. The risk of cesarean goes way up and I don't want it, but I also cannot deal with being this pregnant anymore. My whole body is exhausted. I've been having 7-10 min apart contractions regularly, sometimes they get down to 5, but then they go back up to 10. It's so aggravating and just plain stupid. My stats today were 2cm, 80%, -1. Which is better than it was 2 days ago.. BUT THAT WAS 2 DAYS AGO! ASDFGHJKL!?!?!. :(
I'm sorry to rant, but I'm just so upset that things can never go right. That I always have to settle and can never seem to get a fucking break when it comes to these sorts of things.
It's not helping that my parents are all stressed about my grandpa and keep bothering me and Kevin's mom keeps calling me as well. She couldn't remember what hospital I was going to.. -.- really!?...
I'm just really disappointed that this is the way that I'll be delivering. That I couldn't even have the chance to have an all natural birth. That I have to give in and settle once again, for second best.