Fic : Second Chance (PG) | Sarah Jane/Peter Dalton, OC & SJA kids | 33/46
Title : Second Chance
Author : Jen
Rating : PG
Pairing/Characters Sarah Jane/Peter, Luke, OC (Nicole)
Summary : Sarah wished for one more chance with Peter; the Universe gave it to her. After changing the past she finds that living her life over again brings up problems she didn't see coming...
Spoilers : references to the whole series
Notes : shameless love-me posting. Bad, bad, bad afternoon. Remind me why I can't kill the kids again?
Prequel : Those Left Behind by self_preserving.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14Part 15 Part 16
Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24
Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32
Part 33Part 34Part 35Part 36Part 37Part 38Part 39Part 40
Part 41Part 42Part 43Part 44Part 45Part 46Epilogue
~~
She was aware of the morning light flooding through the windows and in a vain effort to avoid it she rolled over so her back was towards the offending glass. As she turned over she was aware of the lack of heat coming from the other side of the bed and her eyes snapped open.
He wasn't there, and as she reached out under the covers she realised he'd not been there for a while. She got out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown to ward off the early morning chill, and she went downstairs. Peter was still asleep on the sofa, a blanket slipping off his legs. Very carefully she pulled it back over him so he wouldn't be cold, went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, and then headed back upstairs.
On the first floor she paused, glancing first at her open bedroom door, then the closed ones to the rooms of her children. Then she continued up to the attic, closing the door behind you.
"Mr Smith, I need you," she commanded. "Quietly."
The Xylok slid effortlessly in silence out of the wall, its bright display somewhat comforting.
How can I help, Sarah Jane?
"I just needed someone to talk to," she admitted, pulling out her desk chair and sitting down, cupping her tea to warm her hands.
Talk about what?
"I... changed time," she admitted, wondering how she explained this to her computer. As it turned out it was the easiest explanation of the last twenty four hours, because Mr Smith just listened and didn't ask any number of questions. "And now I'm wondering what is going to happen in five days' time when I get to the reset point."
There is no reason to suggest anything will happen, Sarah Jane.
"I was told that there would be no reset, but I don't know... I want to believe her but the Doctor told me that the Universe protects itself, that he couldn't change time... And if a Time Lord couldn't then how could I? How did he not know?"
I regret, I do not have enough information on Time Lords to be able to answer that question.
"I don't think anyone knows enough about them," she said with a small laugh. "Maybe I'm over thinking this. Maybe this sort of thing happens all the time and we just don't know about it."
It is a possibility.
"I just wanted to see him again," she said quietly. "I just wanted more time, and I ended up with three decades of it. I've got so much more than I could have asked for and now I might lose it."
But you said time would not reset...
"Peter's struggling," she explained, "and even if he does get his head around it all things aren't going to be the same again, are they? He's always going to wonder, have this doubt in his mind..."
In the original timeline, he died. I believe he will find this timeline more preferable.
"It's not about what he prefers though, is it? It's not about what either of us... I make this huge decision and it doesn't just affect me. I wanted to see him so I did. I met him in that pub..."
"...and you never told me your name."
The sound of Peter's voice surprised her and she jumped slightly, spilling her hot tea over her hand and leg. With a yelp she jumped out of the chair; in an instant he was by her side, taking the mug from her hands and setting it down. Using his own sleeve he wiped her hand dry.
"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm fine," she said, experimentally pulling the sleepwear trouser leg from her skin. "No lasting damage."
"You didn't tell me your name."
Sarah looked up at him, thoroughly confused. "Sarah Jane Dalton," she quipped, "formally Smith?"
"That day in the pub. You didn't tell me your name. You said you'd leave it up to fate, that you didn't know how long you were going to be around for."
"You remember that?"
"First time I met the love of my life, of course I remember. After that day I went over everything you said and did for some clue that would lead me to you; ironically the day I thought I'd never find you was the day I went to your aunt's."
"Peter..."
"Want to know what I want? I want you. I always have. I want you, Nicole and Luke..."
"But you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me?" she snapped.
"It wasn't... I couldn't sleep and I..." His attempts at explaining fell flat; they both knew why he'd left. "I'm sorry."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for," Sarah told him. "I'm going to go and get dressed, check out these burns." She stepped away from him and left the attic, heading to the bathroom. She put her nightwear into the laundry basket and turned on the shower, climbing in and letting her tears mix with the hot water.
~~
When she walked into the kitchen, they were all there; breakfast time in the Dalton house was always a manic time but she loved every moment of it. Four of them in that small room, vying for the kettle, toast, butter, various condiments, the milk... Today it was quieter and that unnerved her slightly.
"Tea?" Peter offered, kissing her on the cheek as if everything were normal.
"Love some, thanks," she replied. Part of her wanted to have a go at him for pretending, but she knew he was doing it for the sake of the kids.
"Everything sorted then?" Nicole asked.
Sarah's gaze flickered to Luke who was extremely quiet; she immediately knew that he'd been told. "You OK, Luke?" she asked.
"Fine," he said, pushing his cereal around his bowl with the spoon.
"Luke..."
"I'm fine," he snapped. He pushed back his chair and walked out of the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time.
"I'll go," Sarah told the others. "This is my fault," she added pointedly, glancing at her husband.
When she'd gone after Luke, Nicole got to her feet and walked over to her father, hitting him on the arm. "What is your problem?" she demanded.
"What?"
"You and Mum. There's something wrong, I can tell."
"It's nothing..."
"Yeah. She tells you she's re-written history to save your life, to be with you, to have this family. That's nothing and that's worth sulking over and ruining your marriage for."
"She lied to me," Peter said, realising that he couldn't play the parent card to stop this conversation.
"Can you blame her? I mean it's hardly first date information is it? And if she had told you, then what? Everything that happened, that she knew about, you'd want to change it or stop it. When Luke and I were taken by Mrs Wormwood for one, the Trickster, Androvax... All those things that happened you would have wanted to change, to protect us.
"And I love you, Dad, I really do, but you're being an idiot. All of those things happened in her original timeline, and like everything else in this world, there's cause and effect. They happened and they had an impact on what came next. Things have to go wrong sometimes, Dad, because if they don't... then what?
"Imagine that she'd prevented everything bad that's happened to us. At some point her knowledge is going to run out and then she can't protect us. So we don't know how to protect ourselves, we don't know what to expect. We're even complacent about stuff... Can you imagine how badly things could go? But now we know, we understand. We're prepared.
"People get hurt, Dad. Life, death, pain, even sodding taxes! We have to experience them because that's what makes us who we are. She lost you. You died and she grieved and her pain was so powerful that she came back in time. She changed everything for you, and here you are, acting like this is the worst thing that she could have done."
"She could have told me," he finally managed to say, "she could have trusted me with this."
"She could have told me! She could have told Luke, or Maria or Clyde or Aunt Lavinia. She could have told any number of people but she didn't. And realistically, Dad, could she? Could she really risk it? She knew, she understood. She'd seen everything and so she was able to do what she needed to do to either get through it or make what changes she could. You? You'd have probably shut down the whole thing and run a mile.
"And while we're on the subject of running, Mum is facing up to everything. She wants you to be a part of this, a part of her life. She could have dumped everything on you at the start and then what? You freak out and run a mile? Who the hell wants to date someone who's seen the Universe? How can anything compare to that?
"But look at us, Dad. It's not just her and Luke anymore, she wasn't alone for over twenty years. She has a family she would do anything for and now, when she needs us the most, she finds out she's got a husband who's more concerned with the fact that she kept something from him.
"Yes, she lied to us, but it's not as if she did it out of spite is it? I lied to her, I kept things from her, and we hurt each other. But not once has she made me suffer for it. Last night, telling her everything? She just listened, she didn't judge and she didn't have a go at me. She listened and she forgave me. I should have told her, you kept telling me that. For years I've been carrying this around with me but she did not say or do anything last night that suggested she was going to make me pay for that.
"How is this any different?" she challenged. "She loves me enough to forgive me pretty much everything. I loved her enough to forgive her for leaving us, for running out there when the Daleks were tearing our world apart. Do you love her enough to forgive her for this?"
Peter said nothing when Nicole finished her rant. From the moment she was born he'd known that she would be like her mum. She had his eyes but the rest of her was Sarah through and through. And it seemed like he was seeing that for the first time in twenty three years. The young woman standing in front of him reminded him so much of the young woman he'd fallen in love with back in 1981. A few years older, sure, but his Sarah Jane was just as passionate, just as stubborn, and just as beautiful.
Still saying nothing, he leant forward and kissed his daughter on the top of her head, then he walked out of the kitchen.
tbc...
Author : Jen
Rating : PG
Pairing/Characters Sarah Jane/Peter, Luke, OC (Nicole)
Summary : Sarah wished for one more chance with Peter; the Universe gave it to her. After changing the past she finds that living her life over again brings up problems she didn't see coming...
Spoilers : references to the whole series
Notes : shameless love-me posting. Bad, bad, bad afternoon. Remind me why I can't kill the kids again?
Prequel : Those Left Behind by self_preserving.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14Part 15 Part 16
Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24
Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32
Part 33Part 34Part 35Part 36Part 37Part 38Part 39Part 40
Part 41Part 42Part 43Part 44Part 45Part 46Epilogue
~~
She was aware of the morning light flooding through the windows and in a vain effort to avoid it she rolled over so her back was towards the offending glass. As she turned over she was aware of the lack of heat coming from the other side of the bed and her eyes snapped open.
He wasn't there, and as she reached out under the covers she realised he'd not been there for a while. She got out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown to ward off the early morning chill, and she went downstairs. Peter was still asleep on the sofa, a blanket slipping off his legs. Very carefully she pulled it back over him so he wouldn't be cold, went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, and then headed back upstairs.
On the first floor she paused, glancing first at her open bedroom door, then the closed ones to the rooms of her children. Then she continued up to the attic, closing the door behind you.
"Mr Smith, I need you," she commanded. "Quietly."
The Xylok slid effortlessly in silence out of the wall, its bright display somewhat comforting.
How can I help, Sarah Jane?
"I just needed someone to talk to," she admitted, pulling out her desk chair and sitting down, cupping her tea to warm her hands.
Talk about what?
"I... changed time," she admitted, wondering how she explained this to her computer. As it turned out it was the easiest explanation of the last twenty four hours, because Mr Smith just listened and didn't ask any number of questions. "And now I'm wondering what is going to happen in five days' time when I get to the reset point."
There is no reason to suggest anything will happen, Sarah Jane.
"I was told that there would be no reset, but I don't know... I want to believe her but the Doctor told me that the Universe protects itself, that he couldn't change time... And if a Time Lord couldn't then how could I? How did he not know?"
I regret, I do not have enough information on Time Lords to be able to answer that question.
"I don't think anyone knows enough about them," she said with a small laugh. "Maybe I'm over thinking this. Maybe this sort of thing happens all the time and we just don't know about it."
It is a possibility.
"I just wanted to see him again," she said quietly. "I just wanted more time, and I ended up with three decades of it. I've got so much more than I could have asked for and now I might lose it."
But you said time would not reset...
"Peter's struggling," she explained, "and even if he does get his head around it all things aren't going to be the same again, are they? He's always going to wonder, have this doubt in his mind..."
In the original timeline, he died. I believe he will find this timeline more preferable.
"It's not about what he prefers though, is it? It's not about what either of us... I make this huge decision and it doesn't just affect me. I wanted to see him so I did. I met him in that pub..."
"...and you never told me your name."
The sound of Peter's voice surprised her and she jumped slightly, spilling her hot tea over her hand and leg. With a yelp she jumped out of the chair; in an instant he was by her side, taking the mug from her hands and setting it down. Using his own sleeve he wiped her hand dry.
"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm fine," she said, experimentally pulling the sleepwear trouser leg from her skin. "No lasting damage."
"You didn't tell me your name."
Sarah looked up at him, thoroughly confused. "Sarah Jane Dalton," she quipped, "formally Smith?"
"That day in the pub. You didn't tell me your name. You said you'd leave it up to fate, that you didn't know how long you were going to be around for."
"You remember that?"
"First time I met the love of my life, of course I remember. After that day I went over everything you said and did for some clue that would lead me to you; ironically the day I thought I'd never find you was the day I went to your aunt's."
"Peter..."
"Want to know what I want? I want you. I always have. I want you, Nicole and Luke..."
"But you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me?" she snapped.
"It wasn't... I couldn't sleep and I..." His attempts at explaining fell flat; they both knew why he'd left. "I'm sorry."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for," Sarah told him. "I'm going to go and get dressed, check out these burns." She stepped away from him and left the attic, heading to the bathroom. She put her nightwear into the laundry basket and turned on the shower, climbing in and letting her tears mix with the hot water.
~~
When she walked into the kitchen, they were all there; breakfast time in the Dalton house was always a manic time but she loved every moment of it. Four of them in that small room, vying for the kettle, toast, butter, various condiments, the milk... Today it was quieter and that unnerved her slightly.
"Tea?" Peter offered, kissing her on the cheek as if everything were normal.
"Love some, thanks," she replied. Part of her wanted to have a go at him for pretending, but she knew he was doing it for the sake of the kids.
"Everything sorted then?" Nicole asked.
Sarah's gaze flickered to Luke who was extremely quiet; she immediately knew that he'd been told. "You OK, Luke?" she asked.
"Fine," he said, pushing his cereal around his bowl with the spoon.
"Luke..."
"I'm fine," he snapped. He pushed back his chair and walked out of the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time.
"I'll go," Sarah told the others. "This is my fault," she added pointedly, glancing at her husband.
When she'd gone after Luke, Nicole got to her feet and walked over to her father, hitting him on the arm. "What is your problem?" she demanded.
"What?"
"You and Mum. There's something wrong, I can tell."
"It's nothing..."
"Yeah. She tells you she's re-written history to save your life, to be with you, to have this family. That's nothing and that's worth sulking over and ruining your marriage for."
"She lied to me," Peter said, realising that he couldn't play the parent card to stop this conversation.
"Can you blame her? I mean it's hardly first date information is it? And if she had told you, then what? Everything that happened, that she knew about, you'd want to change it or stop it. When Luke and I were taken by Mrs Wormwood for one, the Trickster, Androvax... All those things that happened you would have wanted to change, to protect us.
"And I love you, Dad, I really do, but you're being an idiot. All of those things happened in her original timeline, and like everything else in this world, there's cause and effect. They happened and they had an impact on what came next. Things have to go wrong sometimes, Dad, because if they don't... then what?
"Imagine that she'd prevented everything bad that's happened to us. At some point her knowledge is going to run out and then she can't protect us. So we don't know how to protect ourselves, we don't know what to expect. We're even complacent about stuff... Can you imagine how badly things could go? But now we know, we understand. We're prepared.
"People get hurt, Dad. Life, death, pain, even sodding taxes! We have to experience them because that's what makes us who we are. She lost you. You died and she grieved and her pain was so powerful that she came back in time. She changed everything for you, and here you are, acting like this is the worst thing that she could have done."
"She could have told me," he finally managed to say, "she could have trusted me with this."
"She could have told me! She could have told Luke, or Maria or Clyde or Aunt Lavinia. She could have told any number of people but she didn't. And realistically, Dad, could she? Could she really risk it? She knew, she understood. She'd seen everything and so she was able to do what she needed to do to either get through it or make what changes she could. You? You'd have probably shut down the whole thing and run a mile.
"And while we're on the subject of running, Mum is facing up to everything. She wants you to be a part of this, a part of her life. She could have dumped everything on you at the start and then what? You freak out and run a mile? Who the hell wants to date someone who's seen the Universe? How can anything compare to that?
"But look at us, Dad. It's not just her and Luke anymore, she wasn't alone for over twenty years. She has a family she would do anything for and now, when she needs us the most, she finds out she's got a husband who's more concerned with the fact that she kept something from him.
"Yes, she lied to us, but it's not as if she did it out of spite is it? I lied to her, I kept things from her, and we hurt each other. But not once has she made me suffer for it. Last night, telling her everything? She just listened, she didn't judge and she didn't have a go at me. She listened and she forgave me. I should have told her, you kept telling me that. For years I've been carrying this around with me but she did not say or do anything last night that suggested she was going to make me pay for that.
"How is this any different?" she challenged. "She loves me enough to forgive me pretty much everything. I loved her enough to forgive her for leaving us, for running out there when the Daleks were tearing our world apart. Do you love her enough to forgive her for this?"
Peter said nothing when Nicole finished her rant. From the moment she was born he'd known that she would be like her mum. She had his eyes but the rest of her was Sarah through and through. And it seemed like he was seeing that for the first time in twenty three years. The young woman standing in front of him reminded him so much of the young woman he'd fallen in love with back in 1981. A few years older, sure, but his Sarah Jane was just as passionate, just as stubborn, and just as beautiful.
Still saying nothing, he leant forward and kissed his daughter on the top of her head, then he walked out of the kitchen.
tbc...