Harry/Sarah ficathon
Title: I think I love you
Author: sarah_jane_s
Characters: Sarah Jane, Harry Sullivan
Rating: 15 (ish)
Beta: Kowarth
Written for: Paranoidangel42; who wanted Sarah being in love with Harry and him being hopelessly unaware of it, with some angst.
Sarah Jane had never been afraid of the darkness. Of all the things she had seen, all of the things she had experienced, shapes in the dark didn’t even come close and yet now she found herself lying on a strange bed in a strange room feeling slightly perturbed.
A few hours previous to this moment the only thing going through Sarah Jane’s mind had been how Harry’s muscles moved atop of her, how her chest heaved with every breath she took, how she cried as she came against him. Now, all that seemed like a distant memory and she had a longing urge to retreat to the safety of the Tardis.
Harry mumbled something next to her and stirred slightly in his sleep, totally oblivious to what was going on in her head. She closed her eyes and lay back a little further into the soft feathered pillow, sadly it didn’t bring her the comfort she had been hoping for and she was left alone with her thoughts. She tried to work out how she had ended up in this position, there had to be a reason other than the few glasses of alien alcohol she had consumed earlier that evening.
She wasn’t sure what it was she felt for Harry, he had always been far too sensible for her liking, nothing like the Doctor with his flamboyant ways. She enjoyed the danger, the adrenaline she felt whenever she was running for her life, the adventure, the challenge and mystery that beset their every turn. When they were alone the Doctor had relied on her, allowed her to go out on her own. She wasn’t prejudged by her size or gender. Before his change they had been a team and she missed that.
Technically they still were a team but the dynamic had shifted subtly. Harry had his moments but he wasn’t adventurous, at least not outside of having sex on an alien planet. He was defensive, protective, and irritatingly old fashioned. His jaw was too square and those sideburns! What had he been thinking? She didn’t love him, she was sure of it, or perhaps she kept telling herself that because she didn’t want to tear herself away from that fluffy haired, scarf wearing remarkable man.
She had to admit Harry made her feel like she was needed, even though she hated it whenever he would treat her like she couldn’t do something that he and the Doctor could. Maybe she resented the easy way Harry had wandered into their lives. Maybe she was jealous of their simple companionship, of how one of them were always going to be the spare wheel and how so often it was Harry who tacitly volunteered. Maybe she did secretly love him, or maybe it was just lust for the only other human company around. He was good, she couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t make her long for more of his attentions to her delicate body but was it what she really wanted?
Perhaps it was the fact that she knew the Doctor’s two hearts could never love her as much as her own did him. Maybe it was that small fact that made her turn to Harry, seeking something she wasn’t sure she could find.
Perhaps it wasn’t the darkness she was afraid of as she lay there, completely naked and staring at the patterns on the ceiling that she could just about make out. Perhaps it was realisation that she really did love Harry, the realisation that this silly old sailor lying next to her just might be a little bit more than the silly old sailor she saw on the surface. Perhaps it was the repulsive idea of spending the rest of her life settled on Earth being normal with bus tickets, burst pipes and rain. Perhaps all of these things she thought about were true whether she liked it or not. Sarah Jane wasn’t made for a normal life, not now anyway, not after all the things she had seen and done. Harry was the type of man who would want to settle down with his little wife, start a family, wear matching dressing gowns and grow old together. To Sarah, that sounded terribly boring yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe Harry could be good for her.
She rolled on to her side and kissed his shoulder softly, “I think I love you” she murmured and closed her eyes, hoping that when she woke up she would remember none of this and she could continue trailing behind the Doctor where ever he went.