(no subject)
Have been drinking very excessively these few weeks, seriously overdose of alcohol:( feel like canceling "my leave" le, I realized when I am not working, I tend to pick up bad habits or hobbies:( I will recuperate these few days and go back to work soon, hack care the CNY le. I had a long holiday and before I lost my momentum or even sanity, I should go back to work.
Went to those garland clubs last week, actually on and off I went to these places because my gay friends are all really concerned about my sex life. They forgot I am a woman, I think with heart not dick thus I can go without it for a very long time. I have never once felt attracted to any guys there though the quality in Singapore is truly so much better than in Bangkok. However, I fell for one last week. Been controlling and telling myself not to go even though he has been messaging me every day, he didn't sweet talk and never did we engage in any sexual conversation, pure casual chats or jokes only. Again last night, I went because a long time friend whom I seldom meet asked us to go. I tried not to talk to him but when I was drunk, hack care again and this time, I fell even deeper. I know this was wrong but yet thinking back, since I had paid so much even in my ex marriage with a Singaporean proper guy, what's wrong paying a little compared to the past for a few months of happiness? Anyway he will be going back in May. I wonder if this is spiritual attack. I will pray about it. However, I wun let lust ruin the almost-perfect impression I had of him. Now I understand what my friend meant.
Anyway I will limit myself to once a week and will work hard for the rest of the days. My drinking expenses will still be the same anyway just that I wun be drinking at the usual gay places anymore, till May cause he has to go back to his country for 6 months before he can come and work here again. I jokingly told Louis I wanna cancel our USA trip for this Dec le cause he is coming back, he scolded me 重色轻友, anyway ever since he has been saying this since last week, Haha!
I will pray over this anyway, time to sleep le. Have to work tomorrow le.
Went to those garland clubs last week, actually on and off I went to these places because my gay friends are all really concerned about my sex life. They forgot I am a woman, I think with heart not dick thus I can go without it for a very long time. I have never once felt attracted to any guys there though the quality in Singapore is truly so much better than in Bangkok. However, I fell for one last week. Been controlling and telling myself not to go even though he has been messaging me every day, he didn't sweet talk and never did we engage in any sexual conversation, pure casual chats or jokes only. Again last night, I went because a long time friend whom I seldom meet asked us to go. I tried not to talk to him but when I was drunk, hack care again and this time, I fell even deeper. I know this was wrong but yet thinking back, since I had paid so much even in my ex marriage with a Singaporean proper guy, what's wrong paying a little compared to the past for a few months of happiness? Anyway he will be going back in May. I wonder if this is spiritual attack. I will pray about it. However, I wun let lust ruin the almost-perfect impression I had of him. Now I understand what my friend meant.
Anyway I will limit myself to once a week and will work hard for the rest of the days. My drinking expenses will still be the same anyway just that I wun be drinking at the usual gay places anymore, till May cause he has to go back to his country for 6 months before he can come and work here again. I jokingly told Louis I wanna cancel our USA trip for this Dec le cause he is coming back, he scolded me 重色轻友, anyway ever since he has been saying this since last week, Haha!
I will pray over this anyway, time to sleep le. Have to work tomorrow le.