The date
I'm terribly sorry that I haven't written in so long but... well... I've... I suppose I've been putting it off. Every time I sit down to write, I know I'll have to write about the date and, well... I must admit, I have been making the silliest excuses not to write about it - when I got back home on Saturday night, it was too late, and then on Sunday I cleaned the entire house twice (do you have any idea how many suites Delbert has?!), and then I spent one evening talking to my friend Iris (trying to keep the subject as far from Robert as possible)...
Well, I was so caught up in my own little problems that I didn't even realise poor Delbert fell ill! Well, admittedly, part of that was due to the robot, who didn't tell anyone and kept poor Delbert locked up in the chilly basement this whole past week with the Alderian Whooping Flu! Can you imagine?
Oh, but I'm procastinating again. [sigh] I'd best get it over with.
I spent all of Saturday afternoon in a complete ditz, crawling under couches and beds to locate earrings and the like - why the robot was keeping the clip-on gold earrings Delbert bought me for my birthday in his room is still beyond me - and applying (and reapplying) make up with a nervous, trembling hand till six o'clock rolled round. B.E.N., after an awful lot of begging, agreed to stay downstairs with Delbert before Robert came to pick me up, and the captain was already out, but my Jim, who I had wanted to meet Robert, was... um... less... giving about things.
Robert showed up at the door looking as handsome as I'd ever seen him at six on the dot, and I invited him in (since I'd already cleaned the entire downstairs twice in nervous anticipation and felt he ought to at least see it after that!). Well, I introduced he and Jim, and was pleasantly surprised that there was no - what was it now? - "pummelling him right out into the etherium". He just shook Robert's hand politely enough, glared at the two of us and, when I turned away, sauntered off up to his room.
I think I spent the next ten minutes apologising for his behaviour, but Rob kept insisting that it was all right, and it wasn't Jim he came to see...
[Ahem] Well, after that, he called for a carriage to drive the both of us down to the restaurant, that Grease and Bile place and... well... it was... quaint. Not the kind of place I would usually go, certainly... The kind of place I was afraid for my safety in...
Oh, it was loud and busy and bustling with all sorts of... frightening and pierced people. Everyone except us seemed to be drunk and singing! And goodness the number of women who kept making eyes at Robert! I mean, of course, he is a good-looking man, and I would expect women to be looking at him, but I'm talking about a different kind of woman! Oh, and it was filthy! I searched the walls for their certificate of Health and Safety, and I think I saw it in a glass pane beside the bathrooms under about twenty layers of dust, one for each year it had been expired!
Robert said he knew the manager here and could get a discount which was why we had come, but frankly I couldn't imagine the food being particularly expensive...
The menu was absolutely terrible. I had the most awful vision of every item being drenched in the "grease and bile" of the title... I eventually ordered a Neronian salad (wilted, of course), and Rob had this gigantic bonzabeast steak burger which - by the way - he decided to wear rather than eat more often than not.
Goodness... Jim had better aim as a child!
Oh no, I'm exagerrating. It probably just seems an awful worse looking back on it than it did at the time. But I do remember feeling terribly uncomfortable throughout the entire meal, and it wasn't just that the chairs were more splinter than seat.
I began telling Rob about Jim, and how he's going to the Academy this year, and how proud I am... Rob was kind enough to remind me that he'd already heard that story. I began telling him about my friends that I live with, Jim, Delbert, Katherine - er, B.E.N., I suppose, and about that lovely girl Iris that I talk to now, too, and I was about to tell him about a really funny conversation we had once, when I was trying to convince her to maybe date my Jim, when he told me that he'd heard that before, too and asked if I had any stories which weren't about Jim.
Apparently, he wasn't as well-mannered a gentleman as I had imagined.
But I let it pass and instead began talking about the Benbow, and what I'm going to do with it when it's done, and he asked me how it got into such a state in the first place. Well, I began to tell him the story about those terrible pirates after Jim's map, and I swear I thought he was about to slap me! He let out the longest sigh, rolled his eyes right to the back of his head and took a suggestively long swig of his drink... Oh, I was so furious! Well I told him right there and then in my snappiest tone (the one usually reserved only for a bellow of "James Pleiades Hawkins!"), I said, "If you don't want to hear the answer then you shouldn't ask the question."
Goodness, it came out an awful lot colder than I had meant it - the conversation just froze right then and a long chill came over the table. Eventually, after we had both stared at our plates in cold silence, he paid the bill and called for a carriage home.
He wandered off to talk to that manager friend of his while we were waiting and left me in that terrible place alone. I practically mummified myself with my shawl trying to, er, cover myself better from those horrible people. Honestly, some of them just sat there, stark drunk, leering at me with huge grins on their faces like they'd never seen a woman before! Maybe I was a little paranoid, I mean, it's the first time I've dressed up in a long time, and I was feeling a little... exposed, let's say, and it just felt as if every eye on the place was on my- ...on me. I think I actually caught the chef himself staring at me through the grill cover! (Big fellow, surprising considering the food in that place is so... not very nice.) He looked away once he saw me, but I could feel eyes burning on me for ages. I was just too afraid to look back in case I started a fight or something - it really was one of those places.
It felt like absolute hours until Rob came back and the carriage arrived. We sat in absolute silence for the first twenty minutes of the ride until I finally gave in and said, "I had a nice time tonight."
Well, I was trying to make peace and apologise for snapping at him, but he only grunted in reply! So I went on, "I'm really sorry about earlier..."
He sighs again, mumbles something I shall not repeat about my something I shall not repeat of a son
and before I can do anything, he turns to me and says, "I don't think we should do this again", practically shoves me out of the carriage, and drives off!
So there's me wearing a harlot's dress standing a good ten minutes out of Dopplerville - and, of course, Delbert's mansion is right in the centre of Dopplerville - up to my knees in mud because it's starting to rain, and I barely have the first clue which way's home! I wound up going the long way to Delbert's house because I had to follow the road signs for carriages - which of course meant every passing carriage sprayed me head to toe with mud!
It was past midnight when I got home, although I'm counting that as a blessing rather than a complaint because it meant no one was around to see the state I was in. I really didn't feel up to explaining myself - this is the first anyone's heard about the date, other than a prim "fine" and brisk change of the conversation.
And that, boys and girls, is my first date in nearly seventeen years. I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon.
After that, I moped around the house feeling sorry for myself, which personally I think I deserve, and then I worked myself up to be as angry as heck with him until I had the courage to march down to the Benbow and give him a piece of my mind. (Um, it turns out his company tranferred him to another site so I never did give him a piece of my mind, but I think that's probably for the best.)
So... it's taken a while to finally come back down to reality. I'm trying to find a silver lining in all of this, and the best I can come up with is now I know never to eat out at a place which doesn't supply mouse traps with the mouldy food it lays out. But... I suppose now I've been through the worst and I guess I know I can start dating again. I mean, Jim is actually going to the Academy soon. He's grown up and... well... soon I'll be out of Delbert's place and... then I'll really be alone.
Maybe it is time I start to look for someone else in my life... But, um... maybe not just yet. Though Delbert's doctor did give me an, er, charming offer when I opened the door to him today... (At least, I found out it was Delbert's doctor later.) But then, I doubt he's my type. Anyone who snaps his fingers at you and makes suggestions like that before finding out that your name is not "dollface" is certainly not my type.
;-)
Well, I was so caught up in my own little problems that I didn't even realise poor Delbert fell ill! Well, admittedly, part of that was due to the robot, who didn't tell anyone and kept poor Delbert locked up in the chilly basement this whole past week with the Alderian Whooping Flu! Can you imagine?
Oh, but I'm procastinating again. [sigh] I'd best get it over with.
I spent all of Saturday afternoon in a complete ditz, crawling under couches and beds to locate earrings and the like - why the robot was keeping the clip-on gold earrings Delbert bought me for my birthday in his room is still beyond me - and applying (and reapplying) make up with a nervous, trembling hand till six o'clock rolled round. B.E.N., after an awful lot of begging, agreed to stay downstairs with Delbert before Robert came to pick me up, and the captain was already out, but my Jim, who I had wanted to meet Robert, was... um... less... giving about things.
Robert showed up at the door looking as handsome as I'd ever seen him at six on the dot, and I invited him in (since I'd already cleaned the entire downstairs twice in nervous anticipation and felt he ought to at least see it after that!). Well, I introduced he and Jim, and was pleasantly surprised that there was no - what was it now? - "pummelling him right out into the etherium". He just shook Robert's hand politely enough, glared at the two of us and, when I turned away, sauntered off up to his room.
I think I spent the next ten minutes apologising for his behaviour, but Rob kept insisting that it was all right, and it wasn't Jim he came to see...
[Ahem] Well, after that, he called for a carriage to drive the both of us down to the restaurant, that Grease and Bile place and... well... it was... quaint. Not the kind of place I would usually go, certainly... The kind of place I was afraid for my safety in...
Oh, it was loud and busy and bustling with all sorts of... frightening and pierced people. Everyone except us seemed to be drunk and singing! And goodness the number of women who kept making eyes at Robert! I mean, of course, he is a good-looking man, and I would expect women to be looking at him, but I'm talking about a different kind of woman! Oh, and it was filthy! I searched the walls for their certificate of Health and Safety, and I think I saw it in a glass pane beside the bathrooms under about twenty layers of dust, one for each year it had been expired!
Robert said he knew the manager here and could get a discount which was why we had come, but frankly I couldn't imagine the food being particularly expensive...
The menu was absolutely terrible. I had the most awful vision of every item being drenched in the "grease and bile" of the title... I eventually ordered a Neronian salad (wilted, of course), and Rob had this gigantic bonzabeast steak burger which - by the way - he decided to wear rather than eat more often than not.
Goodness... Jim had better aim as a child!
Oh no, I'm exagerrating. It probably just seems an awful worse looking back on it than it did at the time. But I do remember feeling terribly uncomfortable throughout the entire meal, and it wasn't just that the chairs were more splinter than seat.
I began telling Rob about Jim, and how he's going to the Academy this year, and how proud I am... Rob was kind enough to remind me that he'd already heard that story. I began telling him about my friends that I live with, Jim, Delbert, Katherine - er, B.E.N., I suppose, and about that lovely girl Iris that I talk to now, too, and I was about to tell him about a really funny conversation we had once, when I was trying to convince her to maybe date my Jim, when he told me that he'd heard that before, too and asked if I had any stories which weren't about Jim.
Apparently, he wasn't as well-mannered a gentleman as I had imagined.
But I let it pass and instead began talking about the Benbow, and what I'm going to do with it when it's done, and he asked me how it got into such a state in the first place. Well, I began to tell him the story about those terrible pirates after Jim's map, and I swear I thought he was about to slap me! He let out the longest sigh, rolled his eyes right to the back of his head and took a suggestively long swig of his drink... Oh, I was so furious! Well I told him right there and then in my snappiest tone (the one usually reserved only for a bellow of "James Pleiades Hawkins!"), I said, "If you don't want to hear the answer then you shouldn't ask the question."
Goodness, it came out an awful lot colder than I had meant it - the conversation just froze right then and a long chill came over the table. Eventually, after we had both stared at our plates in cold silence, he paid the bill and called for a carriage home.
He wandered off to talk to that manager friend of his while we were waiting and left me in that terrible place alone. I practically mummified myself with my shawl trying to, er, cover myself better from those horrible people. Honestly, some of them just sat there, stark drunk, leering at me with huge grins on their faces like they'd never seen a woman before! Maybe I was a little paranoid, I mean, it's the first time I've dressed up in a long time, and I was feeling a little... exposed, let's say, and it just felt as if every eye on the place was on my- ...on me. I think I actually caught the chef himself staring at me through the grill cover! (Big fellow, surprising considering the food in that place is so... not very nice.) He looked away once he saw me, but I could feel eyes burning on me for ages. I was just too afraid to look back in case I started a fight or something - it really was one of those places.
It felt like absolute hours until Rob came back and the carriage arrived. We sat in absolute silence for the first twenty minutes of the ride until I finally gave in and said, "I had a nice time tonight."
Well, I was trying to make peace and apologise for snapping at him, but he only grunted in reply! So I went on, "I'm really sorry about earlier..."
He sighs again, mumbles something I shall not repeat about my something I shall not repeat of a son
and before I can do anything, he turns to me and says, "I don't think we should do this again", practically shoves me out of the carriage, and drives off!
So there's me wearing a harlot's dress standing a good ten minutes out of Dopplerville - and, of course, Delbert's mansion is right in the centre of Dopplerville - up to my knees in mud because it's starting to rain, and I barely have the first clue which way's home! I wound up going the long way to Delbert's house because I had to follow the road signs for carriages - which of course meant every passing carriage sprayed me head to toe with mud!
It was past midnight when I got home, although I'm counting that as a blessing rather than a complaint because it meant no one was around to see the state I was in. I really didn't feel up to explaining myself - this is the first anyone's heard about the date, other than a prim "fine" and brisk change of the conversation.
And that, boys and girls, is my first date in nearly seventeen years. I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon.
After that, I moped around the house feeling sorry for myself, which personally I think I deserve, and then I worked myself up to be as angry as heck with him until I had the courage to march down to the Benbow and give him a piece of my mind. (Um, it turns out his company tranferred him to another site so I never did give him a piece of my mind, but I think that's probably for the best.)
So... it's taken a while to finally come back down to reality. I'm trying to find a silver lining in all of this, and the best I can come up with is now I know never to eat out at a place which doesn't supply mouse traps with the mouldy food it lays out. But... I suppose now I've been through the worst and I guess I know I can start dating again. I mean, Jim is actually going to the Academy soon. He's grown up and... well... soon I'll be out of Delbert's place and... then I'll really be alone.
Maybe it is time I start to look for someone else in my life... But, um... maybe not just yet. Though Delbert's doctor did give me an, er, charming offer when I opened the door to him today... (At least, I found out it was Delbert's doctor later.) But then, I doubt he's my type. Anyone who snaps his fingers at you and makes suggestions like that before finding out that your name is not "dollface" is certainly not my type.
;-)