(no subject)
so im finally home.when i first got back at 4am sunday morning, i walked up the stairs tracing the dusty outlines of where picture frames and my mum's silly nik naks, used to be.my parents had to rip down all my posters and the silly things i like to clutter my existence with off my walls.it was just the fact that i know that im gonna be living in a room of boxes until september, it sounds silly but with whats been going on teh last couple of months all i want is somewhere where i feel comfortable and as though i should be there.I feel so bad coming back and lliving with my parents,im going to be working but i still feel like im invading their lives now.
but yesterday came and i think it was the whole process of rumaging through dusty boxes of my childhood that has seemed to make everything ok..hehe i found the silliest things,like the first poem i ever wrote on a computer and a diary of how i was growing a pea plant in science when i was 6.i was such a retard,at that age i thought you had to put a fullstop everytime you got to the end of the line, this combined with scrawled capital letters it all looks a bit, well scary for a wee kid!but yes i was very proud of myself- i actually threw away stuff! *SHOCK HORROR*.its so silly;i place no real worth in material but when it comes to persona material, as in concert tickets,letters,shopping receits from that time 4 years ago you and so and so had that picnic,oohh i just cant do it.i guess maybe ive always been scared that ill forget.but then i sat down and thought about it and yet again concluded that im being an over sentimental squidge.i mean i look at these boxes of stuff about once a year.but yes after that i felt alot more in control of things.
had an amazing barbeque with my gayest of gay neighbours and to my great joy one of the guys peter also shares my love for the almighty cyndi lauper.what a fucking mistress to quote anna!i mean has anyone seen her videos for time after time?the plastic dog?the cute way she mimics the old film?the way the song comes in as soon as she turns of the tv?its just genius!me and kate even held a cyndi night last week where we all dressed up a la cyndi.(we were drunk...oh dear)my dream is now to be transported up to peoples windows via a bin instead of well,through a crazy thing like a door.if anyone can help me with this ill love you forever.
off to walthamstow dog racing track with fran and her family on thursday!im thinking big hats are in order!
anyone have any wonderous plans for friday btw?cant wait to see you all!
all my love,
raffy xx
but yesterday came and i think it was the whole process of rumaging through dusty boxes of my childhood that has seemed to make everything ok..hehe i found the silliest things,like the first poem i ever wrote on a computer and a diary of how i was growing a pea plant in science when i was 6.i was such a retard,at that age i thought you had to put a fullstop everytime you got to the end of the line, this combined with scrawled capital letters it all looks a bit, well scary for a wee kid!but yes i was very proud of myself- i actually threw away stuff! *SHOCK HORROR*.its so silly;i place no real worth in material but when it comes to persona material, as in concert tickets,letters,shopping receits from that time 4 years ago you and so and so had that picnic,oohh i just cant do it.i guess maybe ive always been scared that ill forget.but then i sat down and thought about it and yet again concluded that im being an over sentimental squidge.i mean i look at these boxes of stuff about once a year.but yes after that i felt alot more in control of things.
had an amazing barbeque with my gayest of gay neighbours and to my great joy one of the guys peter also shares my love for the almighty cyndi lauper.what a fucking mistress to quote anna!i mean has anyone seen her videos for time after time?the plastic dog?the cute way she mimics the old film?the way the song comes in as soon as she turns of the tv?its just genius!me and kate even held a cyndi night last week where we all dressed up a la cyndi.(we were drunk...oh dear)my dream is now to be transported up to peoples windows via a bin instead of well,through a crazy thing like a door.if anyone can help me with this ill love you forever.
off to walthamstow dog racing track with fran and her family on thursday!im thinking big hats are in order!
anyone have any wonderous plans for friday btw?cant wait to see you all!
all my love,
raffy xx