Halfway done
My chemo regimen is 4 doses of A/C each two weeks apart, then 8 doses of Taxol each a week apart. I'm (obviously) done with the A/C (Nov 6, Nov 20, Dec 4, Dec 18). I've done four doses of Taxol (Jan 8, 15, skip a week, Jan 29, Feb 5). I skipped a week because my blood work was too low. It gets tacked onto the end, so instead of ending March 25, I'm now ending April 1, assuming I don't have to skip another week. The week prior to skipping, I had a low-grade stomach bug I caught from Isaac. I'm pretty sure this week I've had a low-grade cold. And right now I feel utterly exhausted. Totally just wiped. I've slept 10 hours every night for the last week (thank you, Carey, the person who came to take care of us this week!), and I'm still exhausted. Thursdays are supposed to be my day with All The Energy, and I've mostly lain around on the couch doing nothing, because basically unable to move. So...I'm not actually particularly hopeful about my bloodwork tomorrow. Which will mean, yay, a week off to recover. But will mean that my last day will be April 8 instead...
Um. So. This was supposed to be a "Yay, I'm halfway done" post. But...you can see what's more on my mind instead. But...yay, I'm halfway done?
Except, honestly, 4 weeks of A/C and 4 weeks of Taxol means my brain thinks, somehow, yay, another 4 weeks of Taxol. Except...no, EIGHT more weeks of Taxol. And then I just want to die. And I KNOW it's 8 weeks. I KNOW. Except...I still think 4 weeks and then want to die when I have to correct myself to 8 weeks. Eight more weeks. EIGHT. EEEEEIIIIIIGHT. Eight eight eight. Eight more weeks. *cries and cries and cries*
Because yeah, the Taxol is less taxing (ha) than the A/C. But it's every week and it's cumulative. And I know I've only had four, but this last week was fucking grueling, and if the next eight are gonna be like that I might as well just...I don't know. I don't know. :(
Um. So. This was supposed to be a "Yay, I'm halfway done" post. But...you can see what's more on my mind instead. But...yay, I'm halfway done?
Except, honestly, 4 weeks of A/C and 4 weeks of Taxol means my brain thinks, somehow, yay, another 4 weeks of Taxol. Except...no, EIGHT more weeks of Taxol. And then I just want to die. And I KNOW it's 8 weeks. I KNOW. Except...I still think 4 weeks and then want to die when I have to correct myself to 8 weeks. Eight more weeks. EIGHT. EEEEEIIIIIIGHT. Eight eight eight. Eight more weeks. *cries and cries and cries*
Because yeah, the Taxol is less taxing (ha) than the A/C. But it's every week and it's cumulative. And I know I've only had four, but this last week was fucking grueling, and if the next eight are gonna be like that I might as well just...I don't know. I don't know. :(