H/C: Random Ramblings (1 of GOD KNOWS???)
In my search for h/c to satisfy my kinks, I've veered into reading fic for Supernatural, a fandom for which I've watched maybe one-tenth of one episode. This gives me a chance to look at the fic without the reference point of the actual canon. I've noticed that this is one of the very very few fandoms in which I have a definite preference for one
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I think h/c is popular for writers because it's an excellent way to show the hero's emotion, especially if the hero isn't the caring and affectionate type. H/c is something like a catalyzer to show more emotions than normal.
That's the theory. The other side which dominates, I think, is the personal experience with h/c. You have described it in a perfect way with your father's behavior. You aren't able to watch the scene distantly because of your own experience in your childhood.
I watch it and see something else: if one of them is weak, the other is strong for both men, he has to take responsibility and fight for two. When the weakness is gone, it's a balanced level again between the two men. The next time it may be the other way round - the weak is the strong one and vice versa. I don't like the distance between them in this scene at all, but I think of Scotty as the one who is strongly protecting. He takes personal risks to save Kelly.
It's a different way to show emotions. On way is to hug the other man, hold him close and let him talk about his fear. The other way of showing that someone cares is the practical way - no talking, but doing. Often some would call the first way the "female" and the second way the "male". I like both ;-)
The "omission of comfort" *sigh* I know what you mean. I felt it in "Bet me a Dollar" and I was angry. It's o.k. for me sometimes to watch an emotional way of connecting and sometimes a more practical way. But no way at all... Uh, I don't like that. And yes, it's in Apollo too, after Scotty has left the train.
Today I watched Laya again. I always like that scene at the end, as Kelly shouts "Be careful. Please be careful." It sounds so desperate - and Scotty smiles a tiny little bit ;-). That's emotion *happysigh*
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I know that there are two groups out there: the slashers, and the h/c'ers. I've always felt that the slashers are 'healthier', somehow. (But this is also because I will always believe that what I like is sick and bad.) I mean, the slashers are looking for all the positive emotions: love, joy... I remember once, Potzi, you told me that I selected the pictures that had a lot of hurt in them. It's true, I do. And... Yes, of course, the hurt, the extreme situation, as you say, can be a catalyst. It can force emotions out onto the surface, where normally they would be hidden - so, yes, hurt does push emotion out - it can make people show what they would normally hide - but slashers don't see the hurt as the most important thing. I think slashers have more ability to appreciate all the emotions, especially the more positive ones. But - I know that h/c is different, it focuses on the pain: specifically, on the idea of someone seeing the hero's pain and comforting him, consoling him, and I think it helps me feel as if my own pain is being seen, comforted, as well, by proxy, or vicariously.
I've been a h/c'er since I was, what, 11 years old? and I've always had the physical reaction to hurt/comfort scenes, what I've heard people call "the spike in the stomach" or "the gutwrench" and sometimes I feel it in my heart, and I get dizzy, a little. These are all physical reactions that either you get or you don't, and it's these reactions that made me know that h/c is something that has its own character, that needs to be better understood, I think. I know that it is different for h/c'ers. We need to see the pain, and then we need to see the comfort. We love the love, but the h/c pushes a different button... :)
And of course you are right: "It's o.k. for me sometimes to watch an emotional way of connecting and sometimes a more practical way. But no way at all... Uh, I don't like that." Hee! Of course - they spend an entire episode setting it up, and then they don't do anything with it??? what is that???
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"the slashers are looking for all the positive emotions: love, joy..." - a great chance you are right. F.e. I'm able to write funny German Pros-stories, but it's extremely difficult for me to write about hurting, loss, even love. I start to write it, and it's soppy and I don't post it. Funny is easy for me, although I'm not at all perfect.
It's the same with my screenshots: a really long time I collected only the lucky ones, with Kelly and Scotty looking great / happy / sexy. Some months ago I thought about it because of a future posting of Kelly and Scotty pics together. There are also so many pics, which are intense and hurting, so I started to screencap them, too. Although I think my focus will be on the happy and slashy ones ;-).
" it helps me feel as if my own pain is being seen, comforted, as well". That's very understandable. It isn't bad or evil - your past is a part of you, you can't deny it. But it's not everything you've got, because there is so much more life experience after you had grown up. So you are able to look at your emotion, no denying, but you aren't in the same position as you were when you were a child! Enjoy the comfort in I Spy, but look out for comfort in RL too ;-) (Don't be a mother to everyone who needs it)
"...since I was, what, 11 years old?" That's funny, because it was the age as my first slashy thoughts were starting *g*. It was only hand holding and cuddling in my mind, nothing more, because I was too young for sexual fantasies. I know "the spike in the stomach" like you do, but for a different reason. In the end of the 70s there was the first German tv-movie with a kiss between two men. I was a very young woman (I'm some years older than you), and my parents didn't want me watching the movie. I secretly watched it until the kiss scene was shown -and my stomach went downwards, my heart seemed to stop for a second. Nowadays it's different, I'm interested to watch it, but it's a lot more "normal" for me. ... Ah, wait, maybe you know one of the two actors of this tv-movie back then - Juergen Prochnow, he played in "The Boat" by Petersen, "The English Patient", "Da Vinci Code" etc.
"I will always believe that what I like is sick and bad". It's not "always" in my thoughts, but it was in the 80's, as I cutted S&H scenes with two video recorders (the same scenes like those on youtube nowadays *g*). I thought back then my slashy thoughts were abnormal, I didn't talk to anyone about it, not even to close female friends. Thank god I discovered the internet some years ago, and now some close (female) friends know about it, too.
That's a screenshot from the 1969 series, the first one I was slashing in my mind as a child. I didn't find another screenshot *sigh*. The dark actor was quite cute and athletic *g*.
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""...since I was, what, 11 years old?" That's funny, because it was the age as my first slashy thoughts were starting *g*. It was only hand holding and cuddling in my mind, nothing more, because I was too young for sexual fantasies. I know "the spike in the stomach" like you do, but for a different reason. In the end of the 70s there was the first German tv-movie with a kiss between two men. I was a very young woman (I'm some years older than you), and my parents didn't want me watching the movie. I secretly watched it until the kiss scene was shown -and my stomach went downwards, my heart seemed to stop for a second."
Oh! Oh, the "stomach-drop"... I remember it well, but for me, it was - do you remember the S&H episode "Shootout"? In the Italian restaurant, where Starsky gets shot in the back? I was *dizzy* when they showed it - and I HATED watching it, because my aunt was calling long-distance (I was 11 or 12 at the time) and the only phone was at the top of the stairs, and my mother kept forcing me away from those lovely comfort scenes to waste time going up the stairs and talk to my aunt! And the line kept cutting off, so it was "Wait till she calls again!" ARGH! I was so frustrated! :) And it was 1983, we didn't have a video recorder yet, and I never dreamed they would have the series out on DVD, which hadn't been invented yet, so... *sigh*
But it is so very sweet, so honest of you, to share that experience of yours! It's so interesting: It was graphically proved to me that I'm not primarily a slasher - though I've written slash - when I saw somebody's icon, I wish I had thought to steal it at the time: Two guys from a series I don't know. One guy cupped his hand around the back of this other guy's neck, so tenderly and with so much affection, and I *chilled*. And then he pulled him in and kissed him on the mouth, and the chill went away so fast! It just became 'ordinary' for me. :) So strange!
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Your reaction to that icon sounds a bit like you a bit more into pre-slash than slash... *scratched head* it might be that h/c is often a kind of pre-slash, with lots of touching and caring.
I always like the crossing from friendship to relationship, something like a floating, or different layers of emotions, the own classic male role model not a security any more, not always conquering like it may be with women (some women *g*), but it is dedication and devotion too between two loving men. Anything goes or may not go. So it's mostly the first time stories I like to read.
It doesn't matter that some things change in a long time relationship - no Starsky/Hutch, Scotty/Kelly or Bodie/Doyle will have sex twice a week for hours when they have been a couple for 25 years *g*. I wouldn't miss it in an established story if I knew there once was a kind of magic between them.
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