Just dropping by to say hello
Sometimes, my life gets really really complicated, really really fast. This time, it's pretty much in an all good, if entirely unexpected and more than a little bit scary, way. But...complicated.
So, as a distraction, some random moments of blatant misogyny that managed to surprise even my bitter, hardened self*.
Example the first: I was in Toronto this weekend and went to a discussion-thing at U of T. I spent the hour and a half I was in this 8th floor room looking out the window at an enormous--like, the entire side of the multi-story building across the street--vertical banner ad for Oh Henry that said
"Success requires brains, hard work and nuts"
Well, at least they're spelling it out for us.
Example the second: I've mentioned that I seem to get a lot of street harassment in general, but the general routine is that these things abate when I'm in the presence of a male, particularly one who appears to be asserting his possession of me already (I hope you're all recognizing the generalized sarcasm there). So I continue to run over in my mind an incident from a few weeks ago, when I was enjoying a goodbye kiss after a morning coffee date and a guy walking by said
"Atsa boy. Own it."
On the plus side, at least he was being absolutely honest about what he was doing, rather than couching it even a little in terms of being some kind of 'compliment' to me (he would probably have disagreed). It's almost comforting to be able to point out "See, this guy is clearly a) objectifying me ('it') and b) asserting patriarchal possession over my public existence ('own')". Saying it all with two words--I have to appreciate that kind of conciseness.
Neither of these incidents is noteworthy for its heinousness. Honestly, what strikes me most about them is just their flat-out, on the surface, unapologetic attitude. Seriously--sometimes it's nice not to have to explain to others the underlying misogyny in a statement.
The latter incident has me thinking about a pattern of sideswipe-harrassment/objectification. I was going to say initially I didn't think I'd ever been put in my place in that way via a partner, and then realized just how many times I'd been out with a boyfriend and been introduced to someone, only to have that person comment on my attractiveness to the boyfriend in some form of congratulations or whatnot. And see, here again we see the benefit and generosity inherent in the conciseness--now I have a new category of things to look back on and be pissed off about. Fun!
*Also because noting that things are going well is apparently, in general, just too much for me to deal with for too long. I'll be cheery again soon, don't worry.
So, as a distraction, some random moments of blatant misogyny that managed to surprise even my bitter, hardened self*.
Example the first: I was in Toronto this weekend and went to a discussion-thing at U of T. I spent the hour and a half I was in this 8th floor room looking out the window at an enormous--like, the entire side of the multi-story building across the street--vertical banner ad for Oh Henry that said
"Success requires brains, hard work and nuts"
Well, at least they're spelling it out for us.
Example the second: I've mentioned that I seem to get a lot of street harassment in general, but the general routine is that these things abate when I'm in the presence of a male, particularly one who appears to be asserting his possession of me already (I hope you're all recognizing the generalized sarcasm there). So I continue to run over in my mind an incident from a few weeks ago, when I was enjoying a goodbye kiss after a morning coffee date and a guy walking by said
"Atsa boy. Own it."
On the plus side, at least he was being absolutely honest about what he was doing, rather than couching it even a little in terms of being some kind of 'compliment' to me (he would probably have disagreed). It's almost comforting to be able to point out "See, this guy is clearly a) objectifying me ('it') and b) asserting patriarchal possession over my public existence ('own')". Saying it all with two words--I have to appreciate that kind of conciseness.
Neither of these incidents is noteworthy for its heinousness. Honestly, what strikes me most about them is just their flat-out, on the surface, unapologetic attitude. Seriously--sometimes it's nice not to have to explain to others the underlying misogyny in a statement.
The latter incident has me thinking about a pattern of sideswipe-harrassment/objectification. I was going to say initially I didn't think I'd ever been put in my place in that way via a partner, and then realized just how many times I'd been out with a boyfriend and been introduced to someone, only to have that person comment on my attractiveness to the boyfriend in some form of congratulations or whatnot. And see, here again we see the benefit and generosity inherent in the conciseness--now I have a new category of things to look back on and be pissed off about. Fun!
*Also because noting that things are going well is apparently, in general, just too much for me to deal with for too long. I'll be cheery again soon, don't worry.