Sarah might actually be happy
I've been a little less than internet active lately, and that's been a really good thing for me.
Being the kind of reflective person that I am, I look back on regularly on the changes that have happened to me over the past year or so, and this past weekend was no exception. For those of you who don't actually see me in person, and perhaps never have, I don't know how apparent a lot of this is, but damn is my world different now, from the inside out.
I've been gradually becoming more engaged with the world again (if I get time, I have a post in mind about some struggles I'm having with active community involvement, but they're not motivation on my part). Maybe 18 months ago, I sat on my couch a lot. I watched hours and hours on end of television, not because I really enjoyed it, but because I was numb. As I started feeling better, I upgraded from television to the internet. For me, this was an upgrade, in that it required an increased sense of involvement and giving a damn. The further upgrade was when I started blogging more and more, because of the obvious increase in involvement there. I'm at the point of now having upgraded to actually wanting, above and beyond anything else, to be around *people*. I'm feeling actual energy. I have trouble sitting down and watching television for even a couple of hours, not because I'm antsy or anxious, but because I'm just not feeling joyful doing it.
For God's sake, I get up at 5:30 and enjoy it.
I don't know who this person is, really, either. But I think she's kind of...happy.
Being the kind of reflective person that I am, I look back on regularly on the changes that have happened to me over the past year or so, and this past weekend was no exception. For those of you who don't actually see me in person, and perhaps never have, I don't know how apparent a lot of this is, but damn is my world different now, from the inside out.
I've been gradually becoming more engaged with the world again (if I get time, I have a post in mind about some struggles I'm having with active community involvement, but they're not motivation on my part). Maybe 18 months ago, I sat on my couch a lot. I watched hours and hours on end of television, not because I really enjoyed it, but because I was numb. As I started feeling better, I upgraded from television to the internet. For me, this was an upgrade, in that it required an increased sense of involvement and giving a damn. The further upgrade was when I started blogging more and more, because of the obvious increase in involvement there. I'm at the point of now having upgraded to actually wanting, above and beyond anything else, to be around *people*. I'm feeling actual energy. I have trouble sitting down and watching television for even a couple of hours, not because I'm antsy or anxious, but because I'm just not feeling joyful doing it.
For God's sake, I get up at 5:30 and enjoy it.
I don't know who this person is, really, either. But I think she's kind of...happy.