Seperating myself
How can one person mess you up soo much?? I though he was different... he told me he was different. He PROMISED!! I guess promises don't mean anything anymore. Right now all I want to do is get my stuff and be done with it. Part of me wants to go scream and yell at him for everything that he has done, but I am stronger than that. This experience has made me stronger than that. I just can't help feeling like the stupid little girl that keeps going back to something that she knows isn't good. Ben hit the nail on the head when he said that I do that (and I got mad at him for saying it). I need to know that I will NOT make this mistake again. I won't let myself... I hope. I need to be strong.
Maybe this is a good thing. I need to start to seperate myself from everything like that, I guess this is a start. It is going to be hard, but I know that I need to do it. For me. I just need help, or should I be doing this by myself. It is hard to try and be someone different than I have been for a while now. It's like everyone around me wants me to stay how I am, but I know that I can't. I know where I want/need to go in my life to be successful, and the path that I am on now is not going to take me to it. I need friends that are different than my usual group but the only two I can think of are Kathy and Ben. Thank god Kathy is here because I know that her and I will make our own fun. haha
I think that I am just scared of losing all that I have. Mostly the people. I guess that if I want to get away from those people, they arn't worth having in the first place. I just need to start weeding out the bad in my life. I know that I will be gaining so much by doing this. I can do this, right?
I feel like all I have been doing on here is ranting about how crappy everything is. I don't mean to, once I start typing, it all just kinda comes out.
I heard a song today though that reminded me so much of... me. haha although I can't remember one single lyric from it. Oh well.
Anyway, now that that is all over with.
~Sarah
Maybe this is a good thing. I need to start to seperate myself from everything like that, I guess this is a start. It is going to be hard, but I know that I need to do it. For me. I just need help, or should I be doing this by myself. It is hard to try and be someone different than I have been for a while now. It's like everyone around me wants me to stay how I am, but I know that I can't. I know where I want/need to go in my life to be successful, and the path that I am on now is not going to take me to it. I need friends that are different than my usual group but the only two I can think of are Kathy and Ben. Thank god Kathy is here because I know that her and I will make our own fun. haha
I think that I am just scared of losing all that I have. Mostly the people. I guess that if I want to get away from those people, they arn't worth having in the first place. I just need to start weeding out the bad in my life. I know that I will be gaining so much by doing this. I can do this, right?
I feel like all I have been doing on here is ranting about how crappy everything is. I don't mean to, once I start typing, it all just kinda comes out.
I heard a song today though that reminded me so much of... me. haha although I can't remember one single lyric from it. Oh well.
Anyway, now that that is all over with.
~Sarah