and even paris and rome

[sarahannturner]

yesterday i went to the mall. i purchased a new promise ring. i had one my sophomore year in high school and lost it at a camp, and had been searching for one since. i am glad that i waited though, because i think i am finally at a point in life, after 5 years of being a Christian, that i understand purity and what i want to uphold. i bought it at James Avery and i like it a lot. it's funny because, while purchasing the ring, i was very picky. the woman was very nice and helped out a lot. and meredith helped out too. i finally narrowed it down to two and the woman started sizing me. i decided that i indeed wanted to wear it on my left ring finger to someday replace with a wedding band/engagement ring. then i started talking about the size and how long i would have the ring etc. and the woman and meredith were like "well you should have the ring for atleast 5 years." and i started thinking....man, it's crazy...i don't know how long i'll have this ring. i guess i started worrying about it because a lot of people i know have started getting engaged. or maybe because everyone always seems to feel like they are all alone and no one is out there for them, and i'm included in that "everyone." it's just the feeling that no guy is who you want or need. and i know that now just probably isn't the right time. but buying this promise ring really brought it all into perspective. i do not want to be wearing this same ring that i purchased from James Avery on August 4th, 2005, in 2017. geez, seriously...think about it. i don't know...sometimes i guess life just feels lonely when everyone seems to have someone that they are really happy with and you feel like you have no one. but i'm not sad, it's just an awkward feeling. this is probably the only thing i ever worry about. and two days ago, i drove around in my car...and everytime i was alone, i talked to God. and it was so amazing because we just talked forever and i had amazing conversations with Him and i know that He is such a great part of my life right now, fulfilling me in every way possible....and true love does wait. just like i'll get to teach to teenagers in Africa. thank God for opportunites like that as well.

moving on....

today i was also reflecting on how different i am at camp and home. and i'll be the first to admit i am different. at camp i am very hyper and at home i feel much more mellow. sure i can be outgoing, but i can also be quiet. i would never consider myself an outgoing person and i actually am an introvert in many different ways. sometimes it's even a huge change for me and i worry sometimes that i seem down or extrememly mellow at home, but i'm just not crazy. i like being crazy at camp. it's who i am there. it's fun for me. and yeah, even at home and at school i have a crazy side. i'm not shy. i like to be friendly and meet people. but, don't be dissapointed if you expect me to be one way, and realize i'm another. not that anyone is...i'm just saying.

i am in such a mellow mood right now though. man i feel like i could ride around and listen to michael buble sing "home" a million times. especially this part:
"And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me"

for some reason this song is so soothing to me.

i'm gonna try to get to bed early tonight so i can finish painting my room tomorrow. love you all.