(no subject)
I'm not sure how to write in this whole livejournal thing anymore. I want this to now just be a place where I can reflect on my day without trying to cover up anything and tell it how it is. Today...was a bitch. I wanted so bad for this place in Florida to work out for me but I just couldn't stand even driving in. I felt like everything about it was so fake and the atmosphere felt like a fucking institution. If I'm going to get over this once and for all, I need to feel some sort of connection.
So thus, I am off to Arizona on Sunday and beginning Monday at the "best place in the nation" for treating eating disorders. They've got horses, ropes courses, art therapy, body therapy, yoga, pilates, plush gardens to "reflect", scrumptious food (ha), and it's secluded on a beautiful ranch. Not to mention, I feel beyond guilty for what I am putting my parents through both financially, mentally, physically. I never realized how many sacrafices they have made for me until today especially. They've been saving up for this for me without me even knowing, considering insurance is a fucking bitch and these places are ridiculously money oriented.
I'm almost excited at the moment to leave. Ha, never thought I would ever say that in my life. These next two months are going to be some of the hardest but greatest days of my life. I am going to meet girls who I can relate to, and I am going to really just figure out my life. I am going in with a mindset of recovery and I will leave recovered, nothing less.
So thus, I am off to Arizona on Sunday and beginning Monday at the "best place in the nation" for treating eating disorders. They've got horses, ropes courses, art therapy, body therapy, yoga, pilates, plush gardens to "reflect", scrumptious food (ha), and it's secluded on a beautiful ranch. Not to mention, I feel beyond guilty for what I am putting my parents through both financially, mentally, physically. I never realized how many sacrafices they have made for me until today especially. They've been saving up for this for me without me even knowing, considering insurance is a fucking bitch and these places are ridiculously money oriented.
I'm almost excited at the moment to leave. Ha, never thought I would ever say that in my life. These next two months are going to be some of the hardest but greatest days of my life. I am going to meet girls who I can relate to, and I am going to really just figure out my life. I am going in with a mindset of recovery and I will leave recovered, nothing less.