time alone is time to reflect upon what life has dealt you
After moving to Lincolnshire i've had more time to think, and more time to spend alone, which i like sometimes. I'll grab the dog and take him for a long walk across the fields and just look at the scenery around me, day dreaming or imagining myself as a different person. I do this so i can escape from reality, cos in all truth, reality sucks sometimes, i mean lets look at me in reality...
- i argue with my parents (well mum mostly)
- my friends are miles away, in a different county (i've made friends at my new college but iu've only known them for about 3 weeks, i've known my other friends for 5 years!)
- love life officially sucks
- can't do college work cos... well there's nothing to do, tutorials have been cancelled but i still have to go in (college policy grr)
me in imagination...
- i get on well with my family
- i have a boyfriend who loves me (someone like Spike would be nice lol ;) )
- i have my dream job
i know what you must be thinking, you just have to deal with life cos it'll never be 100% perfect.
I love life and when i read over what i've just written i wanna slap myself. i am so much more privilaged than some people in this world. some people have no family and no friends and no life to live.
i try to think like that but its just so hard. Especially when i have suh an amazing oppertunity layed out infront of me (this Georgia scholarship for example) and mum says she wont support me. she says i need parental backing and consent and she wont back me up and i shouldn't even begin to contemplate it.
My friend (who is like my 2nd mum) is always telling me to live my dream and live life to the full. if i wanna go to georgia then i should, and believe me i would if i could, but without parental backing i have no hope. i try to talk to my parents but they dont listen or tell me to get my head out of the clouds. i try to tell them what i want to do and why but they just dont seem to care.
Okay i'll stop with the monaing and moping now, lol. Guess i'm just missing my friends so much. it was the leavers ball on friday (decided against going), the price was too high... in more ways than one!
Roll on August 5th (when i go back down to Sussex for a week to see my friends).
- i argue with my parents (well mum mostly)
- my friends are miles away, in a different county (i've made friends at my new college but iu've only known them for about 3 weeks, i've known my other friends for 5 years!)
- love life officially sucks
- can't do college work cos... well there's nothing to do, tutorials have been cancelled but i still have to go in (college policy grr)
me in imagination...
- i get on well with my family
- i have a boyfriend who loves me (someone like Spike would be nice lol ;) )
- i have my dream job
i know what you must be thinking, you just have to deal with life cos it'll never be 100% perfect.
I love life and when i read over what i've just written i wanna slap myself. i am so much more privilaged than some people in this world. some people have no family and no friends and no life to live.
i try to think like that but its just so hard. Especially when i have suh an amazing oppertunity layed out infront of me (this Georgia scholarship for example) and mum says she wont support me. she says i need parental backing and consent and she wont back me up and i shouldn't even begin to contemplate it.
My friend (who is like my 2nd mum) is always telling me to live my dream and live life to the full. if i wanna go to georgia then i should, and believe me i would if i could, but without parental backing i have no hope. i try to talk to my parents but they dont listen or tell me to get my head out of the clouds. i try to tell them what i want to do and why but they just dont seem to care.
Okay i'll stop with the monaing and moping now, lol. Guess i'm just missing my friends so much. it was the leavers ball on friday (decided against going), the price was too high... in more ways than one!
Roll on August 5th (when i go back down to Sussex for a week to see my friends).