desperation

[sarah_j_powell]

chances are i haven't changed,
but looking long enough
might provide me with answers as to
who i was.

i am not this sad girl who longs to be back in a place
of comfort-
of joy-
of peace-
of security-
but i am trying to find those same things i once had
and embrace them where i am now.
searching desperately to become something
remotely similar
to who God wants me to be.

and desperation leads to drastic measures.
but it must be done. in order to fulfill my heart's desires.
my desire to be whole. to be happy.
to be true to myself.

((it's as if i listen a little closer when someone speaks to me
as though i were to find a treasure in every word.
it's as if i see everyone in a new light,
as though i had never seen them before.))

the journey has begun...first step, berry.
for old time's sake.