thinking over.
i'm not in the mood to read about canonic issues in music especially when it has a feminist flare.
i'm in the mood to sleep in my lovely bed...or play the piano....or read St. Augustine.
not read about feminism. nor about canons.
i learned today that admitting how you truly feel to yourself is the first step...first step to what? i dont' know. i only know it's the first step to something potentially grand. maybe that's tomorrow's lesson. what is the first step? then monday's lesson is how to take that first step. i might just take this lesson and skip the rest for now.
but for today, i learned that i cannot deny nor try to prevent certain emotions that may be waddling their way through this cryptic heart once full of so much hope to share love. just because i don't deny my feelings anymore doesn't mean i will do anything about them. in fact, quite the contrary. now that i know what to expect from myself- i can take extra precautions not to harm myself in the process of emotional discovery. i thought i was bottling up my emotions before i even knew i had them- oh, now that i know about these emotions they're going inside a bottle, which will go inside a wooden trunk that is being wrapped in chains then chuncked into the depths of the ocean- where even there it will sink into the grime that lays beneath the dark sand in the blackness of the sea.
just kidding. i'm not good with holding my feelings in for long. i'd expect to erupt within the next couple weeks. if not, i'll see you at the bottom of the Atlantic, where i'll be holding the bottle in hand. the story of my life. my heart is worn on my sleeve. my thoughts trapped inside my eyes for the world to see.
c'est la vie...
i'm in the mood to sleep in my lovely bed...or play the piano....or read St. Augustine.
not read about feminism. nor about canons.
i learned today that admitting how you truly feel to yourself is the first step...first step to what? i dont' know. i only know it's the first step to something potentially grand. maybe that's tomorrow's lesson. what is the first step? then monday's lesson is how to take that first step. i might just take this lesson and skip the rest for now.
but for today, i learned that i cannot deny nor try to prevent certain emotions that may be waddling their way through this cryptic heart once full of so much hope to share love. just because i don't deny my feelings anymore doesn't mean i will do anything about them. in fact, quite the contrary. now that i know what to expect from myself- i can take extra precautions not to harm myself in the process of emotional discovery. i thought i was bottling up my emotions before i even knew i had them- oh, now that i know about these emotions they're going inside a bottle, which will go inside a wooden trunk that is being wrapped in chains then chuncked into the depths of the ocean- where even there it will sink into the grime that lays beneath the dark sand in the blackness of the sea.
just kidding. i'm not good with holding my feelings in for long. i'd expect to erupt within the next couple weeks. if not, i'll see you at the bottom of the Atlantic, where i'll be holding the bottle in hand. the story of my life. my heart is worn on my sleeve. my thoughts trapped inside my eyes for the world to see.
c'est la vie...