Welcome to 2006.
It's a new year, and I've decided to make good on my promise to update. Here's a bunch of what's been going on in my life:
I'll get the major news out of the way first. We met mom's new oncologist, Dr. Ellis, who is enrolling mom in a chemo trial. This means that she's going to be closely monitored as they compare the effectiveness of a commonly used and itravenously-administered chemo drug against a new type of drug that's given through a daily pill. This doc was also very honest with us. Mom will not beat cancer. She will eventually die from this disease. What we still don't know is how long she has. This chemo should help to beat off the cancer that has taken hold in her liver - and who knows where else it's spread to. But that's the beauty of chemo - it attacks cancer in nearly every part of the body. The catch is, it doesn't act very effectively against brain cancer. I'm still struggling with this reality very much. In fact, I'm going to start counselling soon to help me cope. It's getting harder and harder for me to put on a happy face and care for mom and be here for dad. In fact, I've been running away an awful lot lately - I try to find any possible excuse to leave the house because it is not a happy place for me. In fact, Ryan's apartment feels more like home lately, because it is a place that I can escape to when I need it. I am very thankful that I have such a place. However, I also have to learn to cope so that I can be here for Dad. This situation is finally catching up with him, especially with all the extra time he's had to take away from work to be with mom for appointments and treatments lately. He is finding it very difficult to cope, and not having me around is not helping at all. So, I am trying the best I can to be here for him. Besides - I miss my Dad. A whole lot. I'm hoping that counselling will help me to deal with all the conflicting emotions I have throughout this struggle.
With all the struggle that my family has been facing this year, I still managed to do ok in school. My biggest source of pride is my Learning Objects class. My group worked so well together that we managed to put together a wonderful project and achieved an AMAZING mark in the class. I was also very happy with my Info Design class. My group wrote a great technical manual and I earned an 86 in that course.
My Digital Journalism course was a huge source of frustration for me. My group members had increasingly poor work ethic and no technical skill to offer, so I was stuck doing nearly all of the work on our project. I even left the classroom in tears one day after fighting with one group member because he did not complete any of the material that he was supposed to produce for our project. Instead, he submitted poorly written work that in no way adhered to the style of project that our group had agreed upon. And he had the gull to argue with me about this after my Week from Hell, where I had to take a week off for mom's surgery and uncle bob's funeral. In the end, he didn't complete the work. The major project consisted of an online journalism project - a website featuring articles on environmentalism and some interactive games. I did all of the design work for the website, which totalled more than 120 hours of website creation. I am incredibly proud of what I produced, but I'm not very pleased that all of my literal sweat and tears amounted to only a mark of 86. Given the amount of dedication I'd put into this course, on principle I think I deserve something higher.
My Rhetoric class is where I really dropped the ball. I decided not to attend the lectures because the prof was teaching the exact material from the prerequisite course. I felt it was a waste of my time. Before I stopped attending, I gave what I thought was a pretty good Conference Paper (i.e. we had to write a short essay to read in front of the class) but I didn't do many of the short reading-responses that were due for each of the lecture readings as part of the Participation Mark. I must've written a pretty good essay because I still managed a 70 in the class even tho I missed out on the 20% participation mark. Still, I'm frustrated because I know I would've kicked some butt in that class if I hadn't been frustrated by the prof's laziness and stopped attending. Still, it'll serve as motivation so that I don't slack off in any of my remaining two terms.
Canadian Literature is a class I'll always look back on with mixed feelings. I really enjoyed a lot of the works we studied, but I didn't take the time to read all of them. As a result, I felt lost and muddled throughout much of the term, and I certainly felt lost on the final exam. My stress was compounded when, after my exam, the prof told me that I'd flunked my final essay. Actually, I got a 60% on the paper, but in my eyes that is utter and complete failure. I've never - even during that gray period known as my grade 11 experimental year - done so horribly on an English essay. In her infinite he prof offered to let me rework the paper an resubmit it. Still, I left that exam feeling entirely defeated. That exam was supposed to mark the end of this tumultuous term, which I wanted so desperately to be over. Instead, I had the fucking essay hanging over my head. I balled. I called Ryan to pick me up from school (he had my car so that I wouldn't have to pay for parking while on campus) and I balled until he got there. Then I balled even harder when I got in the car with a very confused and concerned Ryan. I got myself under control on the drive home and then when we got to his apartment I balled some more. Thank goodness Ryan is so understanding - he was very patient and let me cry and get it all out of my system. When it was all over, I went home and went to sleep. The next day I told my dad - and cried some more. I was so upset about disappointing him and myself with my poor performace. But - of course - Dad didn't care. He told me that it didn't matter about the grade. And he encouraged me to tackle the essay and prove to myself that I could earn the mark I deserved. That night I reread my essay and followed the prof's advice on how to fix it. See, it was a good essay in that it compared two novels from the course on the similar themes they shared. But what I needed to do was use a specific type of literary criticism to frame the essay. So, I sent the prof an email with a detailed outline of how I planned to add this element to my essay. The next day - very much to my surprise - she called me. She told me that she'd marked my exam and that I had an ok mark in the course, but it was lower than what she thought I deserved. So she gave me three options - keep the mark I had, rewrite the essay, or come to her office to chat about literary criticism as a sort of oral exam to prove that I understood that very important facet of the course. I asked if I could think about my options, and then get back to her. Then I asked if she'd read the email I'd sent to see if my essay outline seemed ok if I chose to take the option of rewriting it. She told me that she hadn't read the email yet, but that she'd get back to me about it and asked me to get back to her when I came to my decision about what route I wanted to take for my final grade. A couple of hours later I received a reply to my email. She said that the outline I'd sent her contained enough detail that it proved to her I did understand the literary criticism that she taught in the course. She told me that this email was all she needed to give me a grade of 85 in the class. So in one email, I had that huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I was free of that class, and I got an awesome mark. I said that I'll always look back on the class with mixed feelings - I am eternally greatful that the prof gave me the opportunity to rewrite my essay, and that she was even more lenient in the end by freeing me from having to do even that. And I don't feel like I was handed that mark on a silver platter, because I know I always put a particular effort into the lectures by reading poetry out loud (I was always the first person the prof called on to read for her, and I never said no) and I always participated in class discussions, even if I hadn't read the novel or poem. So I know that I did deserve some credit for that, and I'm sure that her generosity towards me was in part because of that. But I'm also always going to let that mark of 60% stay in the front of my mind when I want to slack off in the future. English is what I do. I will never fail myself like that again.
So in that end, school turned out ok. It was a really difficult semester for me, but I am incredibly proud that I came out of it so strongly.
The weekend right after school ended was a busy one. Jenn and Kelsie came back from Italy for Xmas, so we met them downtown for drinks at the Albion. It was really nice to see them, and to hear a bit about thier lives in Florence. But it was even better to be a spectator watching Ryan interacting with his best pals. I love it when those guys get together, because you can tell how much they value thier friendships with one another. That's all I'm going to say about that, cuz I don't want to embarress those boys.
Saturday was Vanessa's birthday party. She and I went shopping on Thursday for martini glasses, food and booze, and on Saturday I went to her place early to help set things up for the festivities. It was a simple and wonderful little kitchen party. Nessa and I chopped fruit for the fondue (ok... Nessa chopped fruit - I butchered it! I was so inept in the kitchen that evening, but somehow I managed to leave with all my appendeges intact!) Ange, Davey, Eric, Dustin and his girlfriend, Nessa, Dane and I (with brief visits by both of Nessa's younger sisters and her parents) sat around the kitchen just chatting and drinking a lot of alcohol. I never felt drunk that night, tho I did drink a whole lot of yummy-tasting liquor. (Ask me to make you a Sweet-Tart Martini - they're my speciality!) We ended the evening with a rousing game of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. It was boys against girls. Can you guess who won???
The next day was the First Annual Doner-Bianchi Xmas Party. Nearly everyone that I invited ended up coming, so it was a full house! It was really nice to see Bob after so long, and he brought a freind. Ashly, Adam, Caleb and Andie came out and stayed right to the very end of the party!! I was so happy to see them, and so glad that they could stay for the whole party!!! Kim brought her new friend from work, Alan. I imagine we'll be seeing more of him, and I'm glad, cuz he's a good fit with out rag-tag bunch of geeks. There were tonnes of people, so I'm not going to mention them all. But I was really pleased to see that everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and that the Bianchi and Doner groups of friends all merged so well. Oh. And did I mention the food??? Yum! The potluck went really well, and there was an awesome variety of viddles to be had by all. Mmmm-mmm! I can't wait for next year's party just for the food!
Oh. I have a lesson for everyone on karma. See, Dad and I went to CostCo to get supplies for the party and for the Xmas holidays. While there, we decided that Once and For All, we would have matching utensils, so we bought a really nice Lagostina Flatware service for 10. Well, being the feather-brains that we are, we left the flatware in our cart and didn't realize it the next day. What a waste of $70, right? Wrong! I called CostCo and someone turned in our flatware!!! I scooted back to CostCo, membership card and receipt in hand, and they turned over the shiney matching forks and knives to me! So, to the awesome person who had the decency to turn in the flatware instead of keeping it for yourself: you rock. Good things will doubtless come thier way, cuz that's karma!
Ok. So that's half of what I needed to cover. Now I'm really tired. But I promise that I'll take some time tomorrow to finish the tales of my holidays. For now, I need to read a bit and then hit the sack.
I'll get the major news out of the way first. We met mom's new oncologist, Dr. Ellis, who is enrolling mom in a chemo trial. This means that she's going to be closely monitored as they compare the effectiveness of a commonly used and itravenously-administered chemo drug against a new type of drug that's given through a daily pill. This doc was also very honest with us. Mom will not beat cancer. She will eventually die from this disease. What we still don't know is how long she has. This chemo should help to beat off the cancer that has taken hold in her liver - and who knows where else it's spread to. But that's the beauty of chemo - it attacks cancer in nearly every part of the body. The catch is, it doesn't act very effectively against brain cancer. I'm still struggling with this reality very much. In fact, I'm going to start counselling soon to help me cope. It's getting harder and harder for me to put on a happy face and care for mom and be here for dad. In fact, I've been running away an awful lot lately - I try to find any possible excuse to leave the house because it is not a happy place for me. In fact, Ryan's apartment feels more like home lately, because it is a place that I can escape to when I need it. I am very thankful that I have such a place. However, I also have to learn to cope so that I can be here for Dad. This situation is finally catching up with him, especially with all the extra time he's had to take away from work to be with mom for appointments and treatments lately. He is finding it very difficult to cope, and not having me around is not helping at all. So, I am trying the best I can to be here for him. Besides - I miss my Dad. A whole lot. I'm hoping that counselling will help me to deal with all the conflicting emotions I have throughout this struggle.
With all the struggle that my family has been facing this year, I still managed to do ok in school. My biggest source of pride is my Learning Objects class. My group worked so well together that we managed to put together a wonderful project and achieved an AMAZING mark in the class. I was also very happy with my Info Design class. My group wrote a great technical manual and I earned an 86 in that course.
My Digital Journalism course was a huge source of frustration for me. My group members had increasingly poor work ethic and no technical skill to offer, so I was stuck doing nearly all of the work on our project. I even left the classroom in tears one day after fighting with one group member because he did not complete any of the material that he was supposed to produce for our project. Instead, he submitted poorly written work that in no way adhered to the style of project that our group had agreed upon. And he had the gull to argue with me about this after my Week from Hell, where I had to take a week off for mom's surgery and uncle bob's funeral. In the end, he didn't complete the work. The major project consisted of an online journalism project - a website featuring articles on environmentalism and some interactive games. I did all of the design work for the website, which totalled more than 120 hours of website creation. I am incredibly proud of what I produced, but I'm not very pleased that all of my literal sweat and tears amounted to only a mark of 86. Given the amount of dedication I'd put into this course, on principle I think I deserve something higher.
My Rhetoric class is where I really dropped the ball. I decided not to attend the lectures because the prof was teaching the exact material from the prerequisite course. I felt it was a waste of my time. Before I stopped attending, I gave what I thought was a pretty good Conference Paper (i.e. we had to write a short essay to read in front of the class) but I didn't do many of the short reading-responses that were due for each of the lecture readings as part of the Participation Mark. I must've written a pretty good essay because I still managed a 70 in the class even tho I missed out on the 20% participation mark. Still, I'm frustrated because I know I would've kicked some butt in that class if I hadn't been frustrated by the prof's laziness and stopped attending. Still, it'll serve as motivation so that I don't slack off in any of my remaining two terms.
Canadian Literature is a class I'll always look back on with mixed feelings. I really enjoyed a lot of the works we studied, but I didn't take the time to read all of them. As a result, I felt lost and muddled throughout much of the term, and I certainly felt lost on the final exam. My stress was compounded when, after my exam, the prof told me that I'd flunked my final essay. Actually, I got a 60% on the paper, but in my eyes that is utter and complete failure. I've never - even during that gray period known as my grade 11 experimental year - done so horribly on an English essay. In her infinite he prof offered to let me rework the paper an resubmit it. Still, I left that exam feeling entirely defeated. That exam was supposed to mark the end of this tumultuous term, which I wanted so desperately to be over. Instead, I had the fucking essay hanging over my head. I balled. I called Ryan to pick me up from school (he had my car so that I wouldn't have to pay for parking while on campus) and I balled until he got there. Then I balled even harder when I got in the car with a very confused and concerned Ryan. I got myself under control on the drive home and then when we got to his apartment I balled some more. Thank goodness Ryan is so understanding - he was very patient and let me cry and get it all out of my system. When it was all over, I went home and went to sleep. The next day I told my dad - and cried some more. I was so upset about disappointing him and myself with my poor performace. But - of course - Dad didn't care. He told me that it didn't matter about the grade. And he encouraged me to tackle the essay and prove to myself that I could earn the mark I deserved. That night I reread my essay and followed the prof's advice on how to fix it. See, it was a good essay in that it compared two novels from the course on the similar themes they shared. But what I needed to do was use a specific type of literary criticism to frame the essay. So, I sent the prof an email with a detailed outline of how I planned to add this element to my essay. The next day - very much to my surprise - she called me. She told me that she'd marked my exam and that I had an ok mark in the course, but it was lower than what she thought I deserved. So she gave me three options - keep the mark I had, rewrite the essay, or come to her office to chat about literary criticism as a sort of oral exam to prove that I understood that very important facet of the course. I asked if I could think about my options, and then get back to her. Then I asked if she'd read the email I'd sent to see if my essay outline seemed ok if I chose to take the option of rewriting it. She told me that she hadn't read the email yet, but that she'd get back to me about it and asked me to get back to her when I came to my decision about what route I wanted to take for my final grade. A couple of hours later I received a reply to my email. She said that the outline I'd sent her contained enough detail that it proved to her I did understand the literary criticism that she taught in the course. She told me that this email was all she needed to give me a grade of 85 in the class. So in one email, I had that huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I was free of that class, and I got an awesome mark. I said that I'll always look back on the class with mixed feelings - I am eternally greatful that the prof gave me the opportunity to rewrite my essay, and that she was even more lenient in the end by freeing me from having to do even that. And I don't feel like I was handed that mark on a silver platter, because I know I always put a particular effort into the lectures by reading poetry out loud (I was always the first person the prof called on to read for her, and I never said no) and I always participated in class discussions, even if I hadn't read the novel or poem. So I know that I did deserve some credit for that, and I'm sure that her generosity towards me was in part because of that. But I'm also always going to let that mark of 60% stay in the front of my mind when I want to slack off in the future. English is what I do. I will never fail myself like that again.
So in that end, school turned out ok. It was a really difficult semester for me, but I am incredibly proud that I came out of it so strongly.
The weekend right after school ended was a busy one. Jenn and Kelsie came back from Italy for Xmas, so we met them downtown for drinks at the Albion. It was really nice to see them, and to hear a bit about thier lives in Florence. But it was even better to be a spectator watching Ryan interacting with his best pals. I love it when those guys get together, because you can tell how much they value thier friendships with one another. That's all I'm going to say about that, cuz I don't want to embarress those boys.
Saturday was Vanessa's birthday party. She and I went shopping on Thursday for martini glasses, food and booze, and on Saturday I went to her place early to help set things up for the festivities. It was a simple and wonderful little kitchen party. Nessa and I chopped fruit for the fondue (ok... Nessa chopped fruit - I butchered it! I was so inept in the kitchen that evening, but somehow I managed to leave with all my appendeges intact!) Ange, Davey, Eric, Dustin and his girlfriend, Nessa, Dane and I (with brief visits by both of Nessa's younger sisters and her parents) sat around the kitchen just chatting and drinking a lot of alcohol. I never felt drunk that night, tho I did drink a whole lot of yummy-tasting liquor. (Ask me to make you a Sweet-Tart Martini - they're my speciality!) We ended the evening with a rousing game of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. It was boys against girls. Can you guess who won???
The next day was the First Annual Doner-Bianchi Xmas Party. Nearly everyone that I invited ended up coming, so it was a full house! It was really nice to see Bob after so long, and he brought a freind. Ashly, Adam, Caleb and Andie came out and stayed right to the very end of the party!! I was so happy to see them, and so glad that they could stay for the whole party!!! Kim brought her new friend from work, Alan. I imagine we'll be seeing more of him, and I'm glad, cuz he's a good fit with out rag-tag bunch of geeks. There were tonnes of people, so I'm not going to mention them all. But I was really pleased to see that everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and that the Bianchi and Doner groups of friends all merged so well. Oh. And did I mention the food??? Yum! The potluck went really well, and there was an awesome variety of viddles to be had by all. Mmmm-mmm! I can't wait for next year's party just for the food!
Oh. I have a lesson for everyone on karma. See, Dad and I went to CostCo to get supplies for the party and for the Xmas holidays. While there, we decided that Once and For All, we would have matching utensils, so we bought a really nice Lagostina Flatware service for 10. Well, being the feather-brains that we are, we left the flatware in our cart and didn't realize it the next day. What a waste of $70, right? Wrong! I called CostCo and someone turned in our flatware!!! I scooted back to CostCo, membership card and receipt in hand, and they turned over the shiney matching forks and knives to me! So, to the awesome person who had the decency to turn in the flatware instead of keeping it for yourself: you rock. Good things will doubtless come thier way, cuz that's karma!
Ok. So that's half of what I needed to cover. Now I'm really tired. But I promise that I'll take some time tomorrow to finish the tales of my holidays. For now, I need to read a bit and then hit the sack.