long entry consisting of me feeling sentimental..
i've been thinking back on 2004 and it has been one long year.. so much has changed.. i was reading my entries from the start of the year and i'm so different... not different bad, not different good...just different. priorities have changed, tastes have changes, friends have changed. i think i'm happier now. i got a lot of things figured out this past year. i have most things under control.
even though i think so much changed in my life this past year (and they did change, friends moved, health stuff changed, etc)...the next two years are going to be huge...just think... most of my friends will go graduate and move away within the next two years..that's crazy. even though it won't be for at least 6 months, it worries me now. i'm so bad at keeping up with people who move. but some of the most important people in my life will be leaving and i don't want t lose them forever.
we're all so complacent in our lives here. i'm not ready to give it all up. if im this nostalgic as a junior, senior year is going to be tough. =]
ha guess i just needed to get the rest of my 04 feelings out before i get a fresh start in 05. now that i understand things a little better, i want to do them better. no excuses. obviously ever year i'm going to learn more and i can't wait to look back on this is like 5 years at laugh at my stupidity.
one thing i learned this year that i hope you all realize is to be thankful for ur sadness and ur pain. sometimes i wish i never felt a thing because the hurt seems unbearble at times, but that's selfish. i know people who feel nothing and it kills them. don't ever wish nothingness upon yourself. while you can teach yourself not to care, it is nearly impossible to get yourself to care about something. when i got hurt the other night, i was upset that the same thing kept hurting me over and over. but then i realized what a blessing that is.
i'm here for all of you. just please don't forget that.
say a prayer for the tsunami victims...80,000 dead and the death tolls are rising. i can't even begin to fathom...