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Let me get this straight, I'm not mad at Greg. Maybe if there was something ever between us, yes I would be upset, but there never was. If anything I'm just hurt and understandably so. I'm not mad at any one and I don't hate any one. I'm just hurt and pretty upset with myself. I shouldn't have expected anything, it's just a fact of life that I
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Nobody can, and nobody should ever, be able to make you lose faith and respect for yourself, although it happens to everyone. A certain girl who you know quite well was in nearly the same situation as you are a few months ago, and she discovered that the best way to grow, the best way to move on and find better things, was to let go of the self-blame and guilt (if you want the whole story, ask me sometime). When you were talking about how you weren’t the smartest and the prettiest and the funniest I got reminded of this one sonnet I had to read in Shakespeare class last week, And so, in my nod to Mr. Henwoods First Hour Shakespeare class, I present to you, Shakespeare’s 130th Sonnet.
“My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.”
What he’s saying is this; “the woman I love, her lips are not perfectly colored, her hair is not immaculate, her cheeks are not rosy, her breath… it’s terrible. When she walks, she does not float gracefully, but yet I love her as though she were that perfect.” (Thanks Willie). Sarah, if you think about it, there are six and a half billion people on earth, only one is the most beautiful, only one is the smartest, only one is the funniest, but do you think that makes everyone else worthless? Don’t let yourself despair because your not the person you think you need to be, because then your assuming people expect you to be someone you aren’t, and then you are a lie and they are a lie and everyone is a lie. You are you, and when you meet the guy who wants you for who you are, you can laugh at yourself for ever having wanted to be somebody else. In the meantime, just be true to yourself. The worst lie one tells is the lie one tells to oneself (say that 5 times really fast).
Please don’t think that because some of the guys in your life don’t want a relationship with you, or want to be “friends” that we don’t care, because we all do. Were here to help you thorough anything, especially loneliness. One should never be lonely, especially you. To twist a line from “fight club”, “you ARE a beautiful and unique snowflake”.
Hang in there,
Brandon
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