(no subject)
i am convinced that everything is actually just insanity and we are all mocking reality by assuming that this is sane.
i really feel so...compelled at times. like i get this idea to just do something crazy and i feel this bubble of excitement at the possibility. then i laugh at myself and keep doing whatever it is i was supposed to be doing.
i don't know why people need drugs. the world is so strange and unfamiliar as it is. when i was really, really 'in' the world, the escape made sense, but now i think the escape is just a state of mind. once you live in it, you don't need anything else because reality is already irreversibly warped.
i enjoy the people i experience life with. even if we are having two completely separate experiences. i don't care that sometimes [often] i live in 'la-la land'...and i also don't care that sometimes i have to hide that for the sake of stable interactions. i really don't. it's just part of the experience.
i am also grateful that my faith keeps me from getting too close to the edge of the cliff. it keeps me back when otherwise i might just leap and fall. it pulls my eyes back to focus where they need to be. it doesn't let me just totally and utterly cut off this world. there is reason behind everything, and there is reason in why we exist on earth to live these very peculiar lives. the most 'normal' lives to me are the most strange and comical because the way we handle things can be so hilarious. i do it as well. overreact. get sucked in.
step back, look around. it sure is funny...
i really feel so...compelled at times. like i get this idea to just do something crazy and i feel this bubble of excitement at the possibility. then i laugh at myself and keep doing whatever it is i was supposed to be doing.
i don't know why people need drugs. the world is so strange and unfamiliar as it is. when i was really, really 'in' the world, the escape made sense, but now i think the escape is just a state of mind. once you live in it, you don't need anything else because reality is already irreversibly warped.
i enjoy the people i experience life with. even if we are having two completely separate experiences. i don't care that sometimes [often] i live in 'la-la land'...and i also don't care that sometimes i have to hide that for the sake of stable interactions. i really don't. it's just part of the experience.
i am also grateful that my faith keeps me from getting too close to the edge of the cliff. it keeps me back when otherwise i might just leap and fall. it pulls my eyes back to focus where they need to be. it doesn't let me just totally and utterly cut off this world. there is reason behind everything, and there is reason in why we exist on earth to live these very peculiar lives. the most 'normal' lives to me are the most strange and comical because the way we handle things can be so hilarious. i do it as well. overreact. get sucked in.
step back, look around. it sure is funny...