Just got used to
Title: Just "got" used to
Word count: 1.9k
Pairing: Yulti
A/N: I thought I already posted this oneshot but it seemed like no... enjoy!
i.
"Have you ever considered quitting?"
"No."
"Yuri?"
The darker girl ignored as the ashes between her fingers dropped down and died under her shoes.
"You should Yuri…"
She bribed with an insistent plea, but the reeking breathes from the others lungs never went away, and unfortunately, it would never will. Fed up, Yuri turned around, staring into the eyes of the latter.
"Why?"
Tiffany didn't answer, her eyes moved away unable to make contact.
"I asked why Tiffany."
The girl never answered her; instead, she had walked away, far from Yuri. Stained tears were at the corners of her eyes when she whispered the words that Yuri would also, never consider.
"You should just quit smoking."
But Yuri knew, Tiffany just meant more than that.
ii.
Midnight visits to the hospital were forbidden, but Yuri went there anyways. No one would ever know she went there, no one would ever see her faint footsteps in the dark, no one would ever sense her presence as she climbed up the fire escape ladder, no one would even remember she visited.
The window slid open with a moaning creak, like it was in pain. Yuri stepped over into the room and sat on a chair that was always there; next to the bed, never moved.
"Jessica."
She whispered.
"Jessica."
She whispered again, and her hands rested against the cold metallic rail, so soulless but she gripped on it with a smile that was not forced but begged to be there on her face.
"Jessica." She said and forced closed her eyes.
The figure just laid there, her locks of blonde hair splayed across the pillow. Eyes still shut, she breathed through a mask that one day- Yuri didn't really know when - would be taken away by herself, or she, Yuri, would be the one to do it.
"Please wake up."
iii.
At school everything was the same and the desks were almost full. Yuri sat at the back of the classroom, her face half scarred with bandages, and Tiffany sat in front of her. The shorter girl played the pencil within her fingers and was not really paying attention to class; she was more focused on something else:
That empty seat next to Yuri's right.
"Listen to class."
Yuri reminded Tiffany and leaned back onto her seat. Tiffany jerked. The pencil snapped in Tiffany's index and third finger; it rolled down her table and hit the floor. The tip broke and disappeared - rolled to the ground and became static under the seat that Jessica once sat on.
Tiffany swallowed, her mouth dried. "Can you pink up my pencil?"
She never heard Yuri answer and so picked up another from her bag. She used that one anyways because she knew there were already too many rolled-off pencils there at that spot.
It was strange, really, Yuri always hoped that Jessica was the one who would picked it up like and give it back to Tiffany.
But that really didn't happen.
iv.
"We like to sit on rooftops."
Tiffany nodded meekly and moved closer to the white painted walls of her house, hers and Yuri's were only separated by a meter gap. However, it always seemed further when Tiffany closed her eyes to feel.
"We like to sit here, because Jessica doesn't have a rooftop." Yuri pointed at the house to her right and Tiffany nodded again; feet curled against her sandals as she stared at Yuri, then over to the other house dejectedly.
Tiffany still remembered.
"And we'll laugh at everything that comes down the road." Yuri scoffed and took out a cigarette from the carton in her ragged jeans. Her hands remembered what she used to ask for and stretched over to Tiffany's. The latter took out a lighter, she never smoked herself, but she bought it for the sakes of the 'whys'.
The cigarette lit and half an hour later, smoke wafted around them, Yuri decided to say the words that Tiffany was hurt to hear.
"Jessica will always say to stop smoking." She took in a drag. "And you will back her up." She let the word roast in her hot breathe and continued. "But I don't anyways. Until she wakes up and tells me again."
"I know." Tiffany repeated, not to Yuri but herself. "I know."
v.
"Stop smoking."
"No."
"Please."
"I said no Tiffany." Yuri said calmly and her eyes never left the tray of food in front of her. Two of them sat in the cafeteria, and there were three trays of food.
"It's bad for your health," Tiffany explained and took the carton that was hidden in Yuri's pocket. "Really bad."
"Jessica also says that."
Tiffany choked, not on her food but on her heart.
"She always says that."
Yuri took in a long deep breath and took the carton back.
"So please let her say it."
vi.
A month passed and nothing was better. Jessica was still lying in the hospital bed, unmoving like a mannequin. Her milk white skin still shone but only under the artificial light over their heads not from her soul. Tiffany thought Jessica left them, but Yuri thought otherwise.
"What will she say if she wakes up?" Yuri blurted and played with the messy blonde hair. "Do you think she'll slap me across my face?" She chuckled.
"I don't know." Tiffany said because she really didn't know. "Maybe?"
Silent ate them again and it was nearly time from them to leave. The visiting hours always went away fast when three of them were together. Yuri stood up and Tiffany did the same.
"I'll come back later." Yuri told Jessica and missed her badly. "Wait for me."
Tiffany put a hand over her mouth, no one knew if it was a cry or a laugh.
"I love you Jessica." Yuri said.
vii.
Yuri sat alone for lunch today and Tiffany was nowhere to be seen. But that really didn't bother Yuri, she took in a long drag of the cigarette, that just meant she would have more time to herself today.
Tiffany had been gone for a week and Yuri still only thought of only Jessica.
viii.
"How's your arm?"
"A lot better, thank you Taeyeon."
"You shouldn't climb ladders if you don't how." Taeyeon said and helped Tiffany carried her bags. "Especially at night."
Tiffany could only smile and thank her friend. "But Yuri wasn't well so I need to go for her."
"And fall down, left school for a week?"
Tiffany looked down at her feet, her eyes quickly went up and she saw Yuri sitting at the back of the classroom waiting for someone.
"Yes." Tiffany said and looked back at Taeyeon. "Pretty much yes."
Tiffany knew that someone wasn't her.
ix.
Jessica's parents were here today when Yuri visited, they handed her an envelope, and Yuri took the liberty in ripping and reading. Tiffany stood next to her and she saw paper slipped off Yuri's hands as she went crashing to the ground.
The paper said all the rights were to her, to Yuri, she was to be the one to pull the plug if there were no hope left - if Jessica didn't wake up.
"Stupid." Yuri choked with spilling tears. "Bullshit!"
Jessica's parents walked away, they went to cry outside because they didn't deserve to be in there. Only Tiffany stayed, she looked at Jessica. The girl was frail and not alive, her heart still beat but she was already gone.
"Wake up you stupid…" Yuri said. "Stupid… stupid stu-"
"She's not stupid." Tiffany said and she touched Jessica's hand. "She loves you."
x.
Jessica wrote in the letter: "Please kill me."
xi.
Yuri remembered the time when she used to hold Jessica's hand; Tiffany would follow them from behind. Yuri thought of those days, those days when Jessica would slap her if she took out a cigarette.
"That will never happen." Yuri said and Tiffany watched her. "It will never, won't it?"
Tiffany feared to answer but smiled instead.
Yuri realized belatedly behind those smiles that Tiffany always gave her were ghosts of tears.
She also cried. "It won't."
xii.
Everything was quiet until now. They stood near the coffin and everyone was there, some were weeping, some were about to cry.
Yuri didn't know what she could make of her own words but Jessica was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen in her entire life and it hurt her not to see Jessica again.
Tiffany also knew this, and as the priest came up to Yuri, asking her to say some words about who was there in the wooden cage. Yuri took hold of Tiffany's hand.
"Back in middle school we used to play-" Yuri choked and Tiffany couldn't take it anymore.
Tiffany closed her eyes and remembered. "We used to play together until the sun sets and promised we'll be friends forever…"
xiii.
Everyone forgot how the funeral went and the only people who now came to the cemetery were Jessica's parents, when they weren't busy and Krystal, when she wanted to confess something when no one really understood her.
"Tiffany unni is in love with Yuri unni." The young girl said and crossed her arms over her legs, she sat on the floor. "But Yuri unni loves you."
It was funny how Krystal repeated that over time and both of them came and heard.
"Why don't they love each other for you?"
xiv.
Midnight visits to the hospital were now never made. The same room that Yuri usually climbed into was now empty and every time she walked pass this place after school, Tiffany would stop her for a second and say 'slow down'.
Yuri shrugged and turned around.
"You love me?"
Tiffany didn't answer but looked at the window she fell from.
The answer wasn't up there but Yuri kind of figured out anyways.
"Jessica loves you." Tiffany said, she would give time to Yuri to readjust.
xv.
Forever wasn’t a word. It's a concept that everyone believed in, a raveled up lie that Yuri used to hug to sleep. But now with nothing in her embrace, Tiffany touched the pulse on her neck.
"Friends." She choked and remembered Jessica. "Forever."
Yuri never forgot about Jessica but said this anyways. "No."
xvi.
It was start of term and everyone was back in the class. That seat next to Yuri was still empty and today Tiffany was paying attention to class. The teacher assigned a task and she stared blankly at the empty lines in between her thoughts.
Her pencils snapped unexpectedly this time and it rolled out of her hands. She tried to catch it but they left her fingertips like always. Her head was partly turned to that seat, she watched the ghostly item scattered to the back.
Her lips parted and before she could say a word. Yuri already stood up and picked the pencil.
"I'll get it for you." Yuri said and looked at Tiffany, looked at Tiffany the way she never looked before.
Tiffany struggled to say. "T-thank you."
xvii.
Yuri suddenly lifted Tiffany's chin and kissed her lips.
She quit smoking; Tiffany knew this because there was no ghost of Jessica around them anymore.
And that was just what Yuri got used to.
Word count: 1.9k
Pairing: Yulti
A/N: I thought I already posted this oneshot but it seemed like no... enjoy!
i.
"Have you ever considered quitting?"
"No."
"Yuri?"
The darker girl ignored as the ashes between her fingers dropped down and died under her shoes.
"You should Yuri…"
She bribed with an insistent plea, but the reeking breathes from the others lungs never went away, and unfortunately, it would never will. Fed up, Yuri turned around, staring into the eyes of the latter.
"Why?"
Tiffany didn't answer, her eyes moved away unable to make contact.
"I asked why Tiffany."
The girl never answered her; instead, she had walked away, far from Yuri. Stained tears were at the corners of her eyes when she whispered the words that Yuri would also, never consider.
"You should just quit smoking."
But Yuri knew, Tiffany just meant more than that.
ii.
Midnight visits to the hospital were forbidden, but Yuri went there anyways. No one would ever know she went there, no one would ever see her faint footsteps in the dark, no one would ever sense her presence as she climbed up the fire escape ladder, no one would even remember she visited.
The window slid open with a moaning creak, like it was in pain. Yuri stepped over into the room and sat on a chair that was always there; next to the bed, never moved.
"Jessica."
She whispered.
"Jessica."
She whispered again, and her hands rested against the cold metallic rail, so soulless but she gripped on it with a smile that was not forced but begged to be there on her face.
"Jessica." She said and forced closed her eyes.
The figure just laid there, her locks of blonde hair splayed across the pillow. Eyes still shut, she breathed through a mask that one day- Yuri didn't really know when - would be taken away by herself, or she, Yuri, would be the one to do it.
"Please wake up."
iii.
At school everything was the same and the desks were almost full. Yuri sat at the back of the classroom, her face half scarred with bandages, and Tiffany sat in front of her. The shorter girl played the pencil within her fingers and was not really paying attention to class; she was more focused on something else:
That empty seat next to Yuri's right.
"Listen to class."
Yuri reminded Tiffany and leaned back onto her seat. Tiffany jerked. The pencil snapped in Tiffany's index and third finger; it rolled down her table and hit the floor. The tip broke and disappeared - rolled to the ground and became static under the seat that Jessica once sat on.
Tiffany swallowed, her mouth dried. "Can you pink up my pencil?"
She never heard Yuri answer and so picked up another from her bag. She used that one anyways because she knew there were already too many rolled-off pencils there at that spot.
It was strange, really, Yuri always hoped that Jessica was the one who would picked it up like and give it back to Tiffany.
But that really didn't happen.
iv.
"We like to sit on rooftops."
Tiffany nodded meekly and moved closer to the white painted walls of her house, hers and Yuri's were only separated by a meter gap. However, it always seemed further when Tiffany closed her eyes to feel.
"We like to sit here, because Jessica doesn't have a rooftop." Yuri pointed at the house to her right and Tiffany nodded again; feet curled against her sandals as she stared at Yuri, then over to the other house dejectedly.
Tiffany still remembered.
"And we'll laugh at everything that comes down the road." Yuri scoffed and took out a cigarette from the carton in her ragged jeans. Her hands remembered what she used to ask for and stretched over to Tiffany's. The latter took out a lighter, she never smoked herself, but she bought it for the sakes of the 'whys'.
The cigarette lit and half an hour later, smoke wafted around them, Yuri decided to say the words that Tiffany was hurt to hear.
"Jessica will always say to stop smoking." She took in a drag. "And you will back her up." She let the word roast in her hot breathe and continued. "But I don't anyways. Until she wakes up and tells me again."
"I know." Tiffany repeated, not to Yuri but herself. "I know."
v.
"Stop smoking."
"No."
"Please."
"I said no Tiffany." Yuri said calmly and her eyes never left the tray of food in front of her. Two of them sat in the cafeteria, and there were three trays of food.
"It's bad for your health," Tiffany explained and took the carton that was hidden in Yuri's pocket. "Really bad."
"Jessica also says that."
Tiffany choked, not on her food but on her heart.
"She always says that."
Yuri took in a long deep breath and took the carton back.
"So please let her say it."
vi.
A month passed and nothing was better. Jessica was still lying in the hospital bed, unmoving like a mannequin. Her milk white skin still shone but only under the artificial light over their heads not from her soul. Tiffany thought Jessica left them, but Yuri thought otherwise.
"What will she say if she wakes up?" Yuri blurted and played with the messy blonde hair. "Do you think she'll slap me across my face?" She chuckled.
"I don't know." Tiffany said because she really didn't know. "Maybe?"
Silent ate them again and it was nearly time from them to leave. The visiting hours always went away fast when three of them were together. Yuri stood up and Tiffany did the same.
"I'll come back later." Yuri told Jessica and missed her badly. "Wait for me."
Tiffany put a hand over her mouth, no one knew if it was a cry or a laugh.
"I love you Jessica." Yuri said.
vii.
Yuri sat alone for lunch today and Tiffany was nowhere to be seen. But that really didn't bother Yuri, she took in a long drag of the cigarette, that just meant she would have more time to herself today.
Tiffany had been gone for a week and Yuri still only thought of only Jessica.
viii.
"How's your arm?"
"A lot better, thank you Taeyeon."
"You shouldn't climb ladders if you don't how." Taeyeon said and helped Tiffany carried her bags. "Especially at night."
Tiffany could only smile and thank her friend. "But Yuri wasn't well so I need to go for her."
"And fall down, left school for a week?"
Tiffany looked down at her feet, her eyes quickly went up and she saw Yuri sitting at the back of the classroom waiting for someone.
"Yes." Tiffany said and looked back at Taeyeon. "Pretty much yes."
Tiffany knew that someone wasn't her.
ix.
Jessica's parents were here today when Yuri visited, they handed her an envelope, and Yuri took the liberty in ripping and reading. Tiffany stood next to her and she saw paper slipped off Yuri's hands as she went crashing to the ground.
The paper said all the rights were to her, to Yuri, she was to be the one to pull the plug if there were no hope left - if Jessica didn't wake up.
"Stupid." Yuri choked with spilling tears. "Bullshit!"
Jessica's parents walked away, they went to cry outside because they didn't deserve to be in there. Only Tiffany stayed, she looked at Jessica. The girl was frail and not alive, her heart still beat but she was already gone.
"Wake up you stupid…" Yuri said. "Stupid… stupid stu-"
"She's not stupid." Tiffany said and she touched Jessica's hand. "She loves you."
x.
Jessica wrote in the letter: "Please kill me."
xi.
Yuri remembered the time when she used to hold Jessica's hand; Tiffany would follow them from behind. Yuri thought of those days, those days when Jessica would slap her if she took out a cigarette.
"That will never happen." Yuri said and Tiffany watched her. "It will never, won't it?"
Tiffany feared to answer but smiled instead.
Yuri realized belatedly behind those smiles that Tiffany always gave her were ghosts of tears.
She also cried. "It won't."
xii.
Everything was quiet until now. They stood near the coffin and everyone was there, some were weeping, some were about to cry.
Yuri didn't know what she could make of her own words but Jessica was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen in her entire life and it hurt her not to see Jessica again.
Tiffany also knew this, and as the priest came up to Yuri, asking her to say some words about who was there in the wooden cage. Yuri took hold of Tiffany's hand.
"Back in middle school we used to play-" Yuri choked and Tiffany couldn't take it anymore.
Tiffany closed her eyes and remembered. "We used to play together until the sun sets and promised we'll be friends forever…"
xiii.
Everyone forgot how the funeral went and the only people who now came to the cemetery were Jessica's parents, when they weren't busy and Krystal, when she wanted to confess something when no one really understood her.
"Tiffany unni is in love with Yuri unni." The young girl said and crossed her arms over her legs, she sat on the floor. "But Yuri unni loves you."
It was funny how Krystal repeated that over time and both of them came and heard.
"Why don't they love each other for you?"
xiv.
Midnight visits to the hospital were now never made. The same room that Yuri usually climbed into was now empty and every time she walked pass this place after school, Tiffany would stop her for a second and say 'slow down'.
Yuri shrugged and turned around.
"You love me?"
Tiffany didn't answer but looked at the window she fell from.
The answer wasn't up there but Yuri kind of figured out anyways.
"Jessica loves you." Tiffany said, she would give time to Yuri to readjust.
xv.
Forever wasn’t a word. It's a concept that everyone believed in, a raveled up lie that Yuri used to hug to sleep. But now with nothing in her embrace, Tiffany touched the pulse on her neck.
"Friends." She choked and remembered Jessica. "Forever."
Yuri never forgot about Jessica but said this anyways. "No."
xvi.
It was start of term and everyone was back in the class. That seat next to Yuri was still empty and today Tiffany was paying attention to class. The teacher assigned a task and she stared blankly at the empty lines in between her thoughts.
Her pencils snapped unexpectedly this time and it rolled out of her hands. She tried to catch it but they left her fingertips like always. Her head was partly turned to that seat, she watched the ghostly item scattered to the back.
Her lips parted and before she could say a word. Yuri already stood up and picked the pencil.
"I'll get it for you." Yuri said and looked at Tiffany, looked at Tiffany the way she never looked before.
Tiffany struggled to say. "T-thank you."
xvii.
Yuri suddenly lifted Tiffany's chin and kissed her lips.
She quit smoking; Tiffany knew this because there was no ghost of Jessica around them anymore.
And that was just what Yuri got used to.