The trouble with girls *sigh*
Actually, I don't even want to talk about girls on here since a certain someone likes to involve one's self in business not pertaining to them and email only part of my journal entries to a certain ex of mine.
However, I still feel quite chatty so here I am going to ramble away.
First on the itinerary, Usher.
I'm not a big fan of Usher, actually, I don’t like the guy. I saw an interview with him and the guy is so flippin' conceited that I had the urge to put my foot through the TV set. His words, "I'm not just the guy with beautiful eyes, a million dollar smile, perfect abs, and a great voice...I am worth it." Doesn’t make sense, but that's the only part I caught before I had red flash before my eyes and felt my foot shaking.
Not losing sight of Usher, but I'm going to switch gears for just two seconds and talk about my grandma N. Grandma N thinks her son, my uncle, sounds like Garth Brooks. He sang at a few funerals and that made my grandma N so sure that he has the makings to be the next Garth Brooks. She also thinks my brother looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Um, no he doesn't, but she lets everyone know every time she sees him because how big and handsom he is. My grandma N reminds me of that woman on The Nutty Professor, but I've never seen the movie just the previews so I don't know what her name is. The "Hercules Hercules!" woman.
Let's go back and expand on Usher's ego for a bit, I'm going to blame that on his grandma. I think she went a little overboard with the compliments that only a grandmother could give and told Usher all through his life how wonderful he is to the extreme, that he is now completely unbearable.
Next on the list, pornos.
As anyone who has seen the porn on my computer, I'm not into the typical porny stuff. Um, would once again like to point out, that I am NOT into anything that involves young people or animals. I think that's sick. However, I enjoy downloading off the wall porn. Granted that half the time it's so sick that I can't even bear to watch it so I save it until one of my unexpecting friends show up and make them watch it while my back is turned to the computer.
Anyhoo, two pornos I saw which kinda cracked me up. I really like fag porn, they just know how to make a good porno, except this one. It took place in a prison, where 2 other guys, one of them extremely buffed up, go into another prison cell to get the "fresh meat" out and have sex with him. The guy who looked the strongest was the biggest and worst bottom I have ever seen. He was all about to "attack" this new guy who looked too prissy to be in this video but was there anyway when the 3rd guy went behind the big buffed up guy and started sucking him off. Everything was fine up until there, then I swear I started cracking up when I heard the buffed up guy purr. HE PURRED! He didn't growl....HE PURRED! Like a kitten! You can't purr if you take steroids! No purring! Just stop!
Then the scenario changed where it is now the big buffed up guy getting fucked by his partner and the “fresh meat” guy had his dick in his mouth. I’ve seen that position before, but this time it looked so funny. This big buffed up motherfucker was in reality just a puny little bottom. He just laid there with his head turned (so you can see the other guy’s dick in his mouth) while he was getting fucked, he wasn’t even trying to give head. AND HE WAS STILL PURRING!
Anyways, that was a good porno comedy.
The next thing I wanted to see were buffed up steroid shooting women have sex together. Only because I wanted to see if it looked as funny as I imagined it to look. It did. The best way I can describe it as balloon people. You know how some people can make balloon animals? Picture the balloon animals as balloon women fucking, that’s what it looked like.
I really couldn’t watch much of this one. It starts as this muscle bound girl doing curls in her underwear, then all of a sudden she starts masturbating, then the cameraman starts fucking her. It was actually quite gross. When you take steroids, your clit grows to be the size of your thumb, so the second she took off her underwear, I had flashbacks of a certain girl I was with when I did a whole bunch of drugs. That turned my stomach a bit. There were about 5 women in this video (I think the video was called something stupid as “body building babes in heat” or something like that), and every single one of them had a horrible case of razor burn on their special area. Then their thighs were all broken out with bumps. Oh yeah, definite flashbacks of that girl.
Ick.
I made it to work yesterday and worked a good solid 20 minutes before I asked to go home. He sent me home and I drove to the doctor’s office in Kent. Got there at 7, the dumb thing didn’t open til 8. I have a 101 fever annnnnnnnnnd lovely strep throat! I NEVER get strep, I always get a sinus infection, pneumonia or bronchitis. Those are MY 3 things I always get when I’m sick, NEVER strep! I don’t want strep throat! Give me what I’m used to damnit!
Anyhoo, went to the shoulder doctor today and in the next few days I’m going to schedule my surgery. Weeee. Actually, I really am excited for it.
*sigh* Dumb fever, I’m living in a bottle of Tylenol and Amoxicillin. Fun times. I also get to bleed to death for the next five days, excitement over here lemmetellyouwhat.
However, I still feel quite chatty so here I am going to ramble away.
First on the itinerary, Usher.
I'm not a big fan of Usher, actually, I don’t like the guy. I saw an interview with him and the guy is so flippin' conceited that I had the urge to put my foot through the TV set. His words, "I'm not just the guy with beautiful eyes, a million dollar smile, perfect abs, and a great voice...I am worth it." Doesn’t make sense, but that's the only part I caught before I had red flash before my eyes and felt my foot shaking.
Not losing sight of Usher, but I'm going to switch gears for just two seconds and talk about my grandma N. Grandma N thinks her son, my uncle, sounds like Garth Brooks. He sang at a few funerals and that made my grandma N so sure that he has the makings to be the next Garth Brooks. She also thinks my brother looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Um, no he doesn't, but she lets everyone know every time she sees him because how big and handsom he is. My grandma N reminds me of that woman on The Nutty Professor, but I've never seen the movie just the previews so I don't know what her name is. The "Hercules Hercules!" woman.
Let's go back and expand on Usher's ego for a bit, I'm going to blame that on his grandma. I think she went a little overboard with the compliments that only a grandmother could give and told Usher all through his life how wonderful he is to the extreme, that he is now completely unbearable.
Next on the list, pornos.
As anyone who has seen the porn on my computer, I'm not into the typical porny stuff. Um, would once again like to point out, that I am NOT into anything that involves young people or animals. I think that's sick. However, I enjoy downloading off the wall porn. Granted that half the time it's so sick that I can't even bear to watch it so I save it until one of my unexpecting friends show up and make them watch it while my back is turned to the computer.
Anyhoo, two pornos I saw which kinda cracked me up. I really like fag porn, they just know how to make a good porno, except this one. It took place in a prison, where 2 other guys, one of them extremely buffed up, go into another prison cell to get the "fresh meat" out and have sex with him. The guy who looked the strongest was the biggest and worst bottom I have ever seen. He was all about to "attack" this new guy who looked too prissy to be in this video but was there anyway when the 3rd guy went behind the big buffed up guy and started sucking him off. Everything was fine up until there, then I swear I started cracking up when I heard the buffed up guy purr. HE PURRED! He didn't growl....HE PURRED! Like a kitten! You can't purr if you take steroids! No purring! Just stop!
Then the scenario changed where it is now the big buffed up guy getting fucked by his partner and the “fresh meat” guy had his dick in his mouth. I’ve seen that position before, but this time it looked so funny. This big buffed up motherfucker was in reality just a puny little bottom. He just laid there with his head turned (so you can see the other guy’s dick in his mouth) while he was getting fucked, he wasn’t even trying to give head. AND HE WAS STILL PURRING!
Anyways, that was a good porno comedy.
The next thing I wanted to see were buffed up steroid shooting women have sex together. Only because I wanted to see if it looked as funny as I imagined it to look. It did. The best way I can describe it as balloon people. You know how some people can make balloon animals? Picture the balloon animals as balloon women fucking, that’s what it looked like.
I really couldn’t watch much of this one. It starts as this muscle bound girl doing curls in her underwear, then all of a sudden she starts masturbating, then the cameraman starts fucking her. It was actually quite gross. When you take steroids, your clit grows to be the size of your thumb, so the second she took off her underwear, I had flashbacks of a certain girl I was with when I did a whole bunch of drugs. That turned my stomach a bit. There were about 5 women in this video (I think the video was called something stupid as “body building babes in heat” or something like that), and every single one of them had a horrible case of razor burn on their special area. Then their thighs were all broken out with bumps. Oh yeah, definite flashbacks of that girl.
Ick.
I made it to work yesterday and worked a good solid 20 minutes before I asked to go home. He sent me home and I drove to the doctor’s office in Kent. Got there at 7, the dumb thing didn’t open til 8. I have a 101 fever annnnnnnnnnd lovely strep throat! I NEVER get strep, I always get a sinus infection, pneumonia or bronchitis. Those are MY 3 things I always get when I’m sick, NEVER strep! I don’t want strep throat! Give me what I’m used to damnit!
Anyhoo, went to the shoulder doctor today and in the next few days I’m going to schedule my surgery. Weeee. Actually, I really am excited for it.
*sigh* Dumb fever, I’m living in a bottle of Tylenol and Amoxicillin. Fun times. I also get to bleed to death for the next five days, excitement over here lemmetellyouwhat.