(no subject)
Soooo lately I have been feeling a sense of feeling stronger and stronger. Each day is a new day, and since I am being more positive with life, regardless of the outcome, including death and rejection, hatred and cruelty, etc....I am trying to stay positive. I know bad things will happen, but they happen to everybody. What I need to focus on is how to make myself better.
"Keep your head up....always fuckin' try.....follow your heart.....and focus your mind"....I love this quote because it puts what I need to do simply and beautifully.
I feel like lately I have been feeling a strong sense of being comfortable with who I am...but then again I am not sure...I am comfortable with my ideas nad how I relate to people. If people don't like my personality, then I accept that instead of trying to change myself to be a different person around them. I think what it is, is that I have developed a strong sense of versatility around people and situations. I have become more adaptable than I used to be. It's really nice, and a trait that I needed.
I was looking online, and I seriously found that there are gorgeous people in their 30's who have never had a boyfriend before. Tht made me feel like a jerk. Here I am complaining about not having a boyfriend, when I have some of the greatest and most unique group of friends that anyone could ever ask for, and people that can be honest with me, especially when I do something wrong. I have people who love and care for me. So why do I need a guy for? Or at least right now? There are seriously women in their fucking THIRTYS...girl who I'm sure are like me, beautiful on the inside and out, people who are outgoing....but they just don't have the luck or haven't met the right person yet. Are they unnormal? Absolutely not. I was just talking to my friend JR aka Eric, and he said there was this girl he knew who was like 24 or something like that...and she's absolutely gorgeous, I mean BEAUTIFUL...and she's never had a boyfriend in her life, although she's hooked up and had sex with guys before. I realized that some people are just late bloomers, and I have to accept that. Who knows, I could be that girl who finally has a boyfriend in her 40's....who knows, I may not ever find that guy. Whatever God's plan for me will happen, and I cannot change that. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I will shut out my heart and not be open to meeting new guys. My heart is open and pure, and honestly so ready to be with someone I really care about spending time with (of course not all the time lol because I need my space too)...it's just that I haven't found a guy I have truly liked yet...and when I did in the past, God didn't think it was my time. For whatever reason there is out there, I have more faith in God than I ever did..I know he has a plan for me...I know bad things might happen to me, but the good things will be more worthwhile and more meaningful in my life. I might be one of those girls who never finds her man...never ever.....I might find him tomorrow! I might find him when I am 21 or 22 or 24 or 24....I have been rejected, and beaten and torn upon my heart every time I have met a guy I liked. I feel like I have been through it all with rejection. If I get rejected again, I feel like all this bad stuff that has happened to me really made me IMMUNE to being hurt. If a guy I like hurts me and rejects me, I will not feel any pain. God has given me the strength to overcome. I have a feeling that he is testing me as well.
I feel like I've changed my personality upside down. My negativity has turned into positivity. When I start getting negative thoughts into my head, I mentally tell myself "NOOOO!" stop!! stop it sara!! I try to turn it around. Sure here and there I might make a negative comment or two about my looks or my efforts not being noticed...but I know that my time hasn't come yet.
All I know is that I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. And it's what I make of myself that will get me somewhere in life. Don't let anyone destroy your path or tell you that you cannot make it. I feel like I have the best family in the world. I deeply feel like this, and I don't feel these deep appreciative feelings very often. I honestly thank GOD SOOO MUCH for what has been happening in my life. Thank you God for giving me an intelligent family who cares about me, and one who has NEVER neglected me, through the good times and the bad. Thank you God for helping me realize that I can get along with my mother more than I think. Thank you God for giving me an opportunity to work at my dad's pharmacy and make a name for myself for pharmacy school. Thank you God for givingme an opportunity to live with my best friends in Fullerton. Thank you God for helping me see the light, and getting me out o fthese walls that I was trapt in. Thank you God for letting me take more charge of my life, and helping me realize that I had the powere to do this. Thank you God for helping my family have an opportunity to make good money in the market. Thank you God for not wasting my parents' hard work .Thank you God for helping Sherif fit in his new college and also making good friends the first semester that he moved in. Thank you God for helping me feel warmth instead of the cold lonliness of the world. Thank you God for helping me realize that I am truly beautiful inside and out. Thank you God for letting me to finally fit in, a dream I have had since elementary school, and realizing that me crying all the time on the playground was going to get better. Thank you God for saving me from suicide numerous times. Thank you God for helping me realize that patience is a virtue. Thank you God for showing me the right path through your books. Thank you God for letting me have the time of my life in college, because I WILL NOT let you down. Thank you God for helping me reach enormous lengths with my personality. Thank you God for not letting me get affected by petty drama, like my roommate situation and people hating me for no reason and judging me. Thank you God for leting me have an opportunity to stay in California this summer. Thank you God for helping me accept things for the wya they are. There is SO MUCH MORE that I could be thanking God for and it is not popping in my head at the moment..but a honest genuine thank is what I wanted to tell God in this entry.
I can only hope it goes up from here. God willing.
"Keep your head up....always fuckin' try.....follow your heart.....and focus your mind"....I love this quote because it puts what I need to do simply and beautifully.
I feel like lately I have been feeling a strong sense of being comfortable with who I am...but then again I am not sure...I am comfortable with my ideas nad how I relate to people. If people don't like my personality, then I accept that instead of trying to change myself to be a different person around them. I think what it is, is that I have developed a strong sense of versatility around people and situations. I have become more adaptable than I used to be. It's really nice, and a trait that I needed.
I was looking online, and I seriously found that there are gorgeous people in their 30's who have never had a boyfriend before. Tht made me feel like a jerk. Here I am complaining about not having a boyfriend, when I have some of the greatest and most unique group of friends that anyone could ever ask for, and people that can be honest with me, especially when I do something wrong. I have people who love and care for me. So why do I need a guy for? Or at least right now? There are seriously women in their fucking THIRTYS...girl who I'm sure are like me, beautiful on the inside and out, people who are outgoing....but they just don't have the luck or haven't met the right person yet. Are they unnormal? Absolutely not. I was just talking to my friend JR aka Eric, and he said there was this girl he knew who was like 24 or something like that...and she's absolutely gorgeous, I mean BEAUTIFUL...and she's never had a boyfriend in her life, although she's hooked up and had sex with guys before. I realized that some people are just late bloomers, and I have to accept that. Who knows, I could be that girl who finally has a boyfriend in her 40's....who knows, I may not ever find that guy. Whatever God's plan for me will happen, and I cannot change that. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I will shut out my heart and not be open to meeting new guys. My heart is open and pure, and honestly so ready to be with someone I really care about spending time with (of course not all the time lol because I need my space too)...it's just that I haven't found a guy I have truly liked yet...and when I did in the past, God didn't think it was my time. For whatever reason there is out there, I have more faith in God than I ever did..I know he has a plan for me...I know bad things might happen to me, but the good things will be more worthwhile and more meaningful in my life. I might be one of those girls who never finds her man...never ever.....I might find him tomorrow! I might find him when I am 21 or 22 or 24 or 24....I have been rejected, and beaten and torn upon my heart every time I have met a guy I liked. I feel like I have been through it all with rejection. If I get rejected again, I feel like all this bad stuff that has happened to me really made me IMMUNE to being hurt. If a guy I like hurts me and rejects me, I will not feel any pain. God has given me the strength to overcome. I have a feeling that he is testing me as well.
I feel like I've changed my personality upside down. My negativity has turned into positivity. When I start getting negative thoughts into my head, I mentally tell myself "NOOOO!" stop!! stop it sara!! I try to turn it around. Sure here and there I might make a negative comment or two about my looks or my efforts not being noticed...but I know that my time hasn't come yet.
All I know is that I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. And it's what I make of myself that will get me somewhere in life. Don't let anyone destroy your path or tell you that you cannot make it. I feel like I have the best family in the world. I deeply feel like this, and I don't feel these deep appreciative feelings very often. I honestly thank GOD SOOO MUCH for what has been happening in my life. Thank you God for giving me an intelligent family who cares about me, and one who has NEVER neglected me, through the good times and the bad. Thank you God for helping me realize that I can get along with my mother more than I think. Thank you God for giving me an opportunity to work at my dad's pharmacy and make a name for myself for pharmacy school. Thank you God for givingme an opportunity to live with my best friends in Fullerton. Thank you God for helping me see the light, and getting me out o fthese walls that I was trapt in. Thank you God for letting me take more charge of my life, and helping me realize that I had the powere to do this. Thank you God for helping my family have an opportunity to make good money in the market. Thank you God for not wasting my parents' hard work .Thank you God for helping Sherif fit in his new college and also making good friends the first semester that he moved in. Thank you God for helping me feel warmth instead of the cold lonliness of the world. Thank you God for helping me realize that I am truly beautiful inside and out. Thank you God for letting me to finally fit in, a dream I have had since elementary school, and realizing that me crying all the time on the playground was going to get better. Thank you God for saving me from suicide numerous times. Thank you God for helping me realize that patience is a virtue. Thank you God for showing me the right path through your books. Thank you God for letting me have the time of my life in college, because I WILL NOT let you down. Thank you God for helping me reach enormous lengths with my personality. Thank you God for not letting me get affected by petty drama, like my roommate situation and people hating me for no reason and judging me. Thank you God for leting me have an opportunity to stay in California this summer. Thank you God for helping me accept things for the wya they are. There is SO MUCH MORE that I could be thanking God for and it is not popping in my head at the moment..but a honest genuine thank is what I wanted to tell God in this entry.
I can only hope it goes up from here. God willing.