(no subject)
I am so confused at the moment. Today I went on an outing with my mom, and my brother. Since my dad was at work today only until about 4, my mom said he would meet us later at the Paris buffet for dinner. Like normal families during the holidays, it felt good that the whole family was going to be together. However, how does something so nice turn so bad? It can I guess. It all started when my mom started out at first nagging me about my sandals that were dirty. How could I have worn dirty sandals when we were going out? We already had this discussion, and at first it was simple nagging, but then my mom turned it in this whole huge argument while we were walking on the strip. She threatened to take away part of the allowance she gives me, and she told me she would look through my closet to see what I was really buying with her money. The problem with my mom is that she is always in her own world. She does not listen, either that or she has selective hearing. She only picks out part of a conversation that she wants to hear. Then she misunderstands alot of what I say, and I think it's because of the language barrier. I am not in any way calling her stupid at all because I know very well she is not stupid. It is just that alot of our fights come from her impulsiveness, her misunderstanding me or vise versa, and she does not listen. When she is right, she is right, and NO ONE can change her opinion, and no one can make her listen to the other side of the story. My dad always tells me it is a sickness that she has in her. Ironic that I mention my dad. After I finally persuaded my mom that nothing fishy was going on with her money in California, we went to the Fashion Show mall. I started to feel better after my sort of bitterness towards her, and just told myself to let it go. So then it was fine when she agreed that we buy me some clothes like she told me she would a couple of months ago. She wants me to dress nice for Saturday because apparently we are going to mosque because it is our holiday. My mom insists that I wear clothes that are not embarassing to HER. So anyway I am at Macy's looking at clothes, adn relieved that they aren't too ugly and that my mom didn't take me to a store that was too ugly in general. My mom's sitting at the chair waiting for me. I come to her with some clothes, and she tells me that she called my dad at work and that he hung up on her the first time. So she tried again, and she says that he told her sternly not to call him again. I could tell she was hurt by his comment, and I was very confused as to why he was so rude to her. Since my dad works at a pharmacy, especially around the holldays, he tells me that there are a lot of customers that always wait until the last minute to buy a prescription. My dad gets nervous when things don't go perfectly his way, and sometimes he creates some scenes, which I don't agree with at all. I just learned to ignore him while he is on one of his tantrums. So anyway, I thought that maybe my dad answered in such a rude manner because of the fact that he was so busy and nervous, and probably took it all out on her. But still, me and my mom agreed that no matter what was going on in the pharmacy, that gave him NO excuse to be disrespectful like that to my mom. My mom thought also that maybe he was tyring to make her feel guilty about going to eat outside. Since the beginning of their marriage apparently, my dad has never willingly wanted to go out with his family. He's not a normal person at all. He treated my mom, grandma and grandpa on my mom's side with disrespect. A long time ago, if my grandparents were in the States visiting my parents in New Jersey when me and my brother were little kids, my dad would refuse to eat out. My mom says that it is because he makes all of the income, and he doesn't want to spend any money on anybody else. He is still to this day incredibly selfish, and it shows in his actions. Just when you feel sorry for him that he works 7 days a week, his actions make you want to hate him all over again. My mom thought that he was dong his normal tantrums to make her feel guilty for even taking him to eat out. I felt so bad she has to constantly deal with something like this. I feel like I am enjoying college life so much, and my mom is here miserable. She tells me that she feels like she lives alone. Completely alone. But what am I supposed to do about it? I'm trying hard to make her see that her daughter really cares about her, but I sometimes feel like I could do so much and because my mom exaggerates alot of things, misunderstands, and doesn't listen, I'm afraid she is not really noticing that I really want to be there for her. My mom has never been the sociable type, to go out there and meet new people, but she has always been big on family. The family being all together is really important to her. Her kids especially are her life. But she has always had a problem with my dad being there for the family, and until THIS DAY my dad won't go out with us, won't surprise us by going otu with us. Basically, my dad goes to work, comes home and eats, and then sits on the computer or sleeps. That's his sad, monotonous life. I feel really bad for him. But when we try to give him some new change of scenery, he makes you feel like shit, at least according to my mom. My dad will never change. My mom even informed me of something horrible that I actually never knew about until tonight: My mom never persuaded my dad to come back to us when he had left us. The only reason he came back was because him and his nephew (the guy my dad went to NJ to start a limo company with) got into a huge fight, and he basically kicked my dad out of his house. I will never actually know the full true story of what happened to my dad and why he left his family.